BellaOnline Forums Family Adoption Hello

I have been reading this forum off and on for several months. I'm glad to see it active again. I thought maybe I should introduce myself since I started posting.

I have six children ages 4.5 to 9.5. Four are home with us and two are still waiting to join us. One of my four was adopted and has been with us for 2 years. The remaining three were born into my family.

My 9.5yo daughter was born into our family and is fine with siblings of any age so long as we do not displace her as the oldest child. Matter-of-fact, she was instrumental in our proceeding with my oldest son's adoption.

My 8yo son joined us at the age of 5.5 from Haiti. He suffered abuse in his life before he came to us, and he experienced difficulty with trust and attachment. He is doing very well right now.

My 7.5yo son was born into our family and was thrilled to have a brother close to his age. They have definitely experienced their rivalry and difficult moments, but they are as thick as thieves the rest of the time. They are on the same baseball team this year and think it is wonderful.

My other 7.5yo son is still waiting in Haiti for his visa. We thought he would join us last year, but he didn't. Then we thought he was finally joining us in February, but that didn't happen either. For reasons she will not reveal, the Consular in Haiti is making is exceptionally difficult on every family applying for a U.S. Visa for their adopted children. A process that took us 3 days in 2005 has now stretched out to more than 2 months this time around.

My 6.5yo daughter is the biological sister of my youngest son, and she is in the same situation. Their adoption was final in July 2007 but it has taken us this long to obtain their Haitian passports and U.S. Visas. At this point, they have lived in the orphanage in Haiti for 4.5 years.

My 4.5yo daughter was born into my family, and she is thrilled to have a sister close to her age. As long as we don't displace her as the baby, she is fine.

Not everything has been sunshine and roses. Not even when we were a family with only three children born into our family. Our oldest has experienced a variety of developmental difficulties that strengthened us to the degree that we felt capable of adopting older children. We also don't expect sunshine and roses when our waiting children arrive. But we have enough education and experience that we feel capable . . . for the most part.

As for me, I am a busy mom. As if you couldn't already tell that. LOL I was the daughters editor for several months. I resigned in February when I thought my children were coming home. I have written in other places, too. I look forward to chatting more in the future. We're thick into the softball/baseball season so I may be hit or miss until July.

Maybe it has something to do with the riots that are ongoing in haiti? Are your children affected by this - a family I know who is adopting three girls recieved word that there orphanage was unable to get food and where reaching out for help - what a horrible message to recieve - that your children are starving halfway around the world.

I hope your children are home soon - honestly hatian adoption is not one I'm well versed in. Is a pre referal program?

No, this has NOTHING to do with the riots, but the riots did complicate things. This has everything to do with a Consular who is mean and insensitive.

Yes, the riots causes a lot of trauma in more ways than one. Many families (and orphanages) who were eking by are now starving because the rise in the cost of food and the rioting.

What do you mean by "pre-referral program"?

you know the child before hand (well obviously you do) but also that your "guranteed" (that seems a bad word for it) that child. Some countries you can know a child but you that child may very well be adopted before you get there. Pre referall that child is yours from the date of the referal.

At the present time, once your dossier is in Haiti, and your files are matched up in 1st Legalization, that is the child for whom your work through the adoption process. Prior to those procedures, you are at the mercy of the facilitator(s) at the orphanage where the child resides. Usually, though, you are matched with the child you have requested to be matched with.

However, there is rumor that it will change in the next year or two so that a central office (probably IBESR) will handle the referral process, and it will likely go to a blind referral process where you are issued a referral for a child whom you know nothing about until you receive the referral.

Do you have any hint when your little ones will be home? It seems adoption is a rotating cirlce of policies, if you blink its changed. You are actually the first person I've talked to whose adopted from Haiti - I am usually more involved in special needs adoption - do you know much about the special needs program there? (IE do the kids end up in institutions? can they be adopted?)

No. :'o(



There are definitely a lot of changes happening all over, and countries shutting down their adoption programs or countries shutting them out.



There is no countrywide program for children with special needs. Although, if you look at the U.S. definition of a special need, any Haitian child over the age of one could be considered as having a special need.

At the present time, you need to look at specific orphanages--either independently or via agencies with facilitators in Haiti--and specific children rather than a program. That will likely change if/when Haiti establishes a central department to issue referrals.

I hope your little ones make it home soon (can I inquire about their names?)

And yea countries all over the world are shutting down programs or making it more difficult - but then new countries are becoming easier. These countries that are shutting of adoption still have to many oprhans - it seems very self serving to shut down for political reasons.

I can say it would likely be easier for children with special needs to find a home with a centralized program. Their are parents who are looking to offer little angels with down syndrome or other disorders a home, hard to do if their is no way to know where they are.

We hope so, too.



Sure! I don't mind you asking. However, I don't use their real names online, not even in my personal blog.



Yes, it certainly would, but they are struggling just to keep what little infrastructure in tact as they can and feed millions of starving people. It will be a long while before Haiti has an effective centralized program, even if they do put all adoptions through IBESR. Until then, the burden lies with the humanitarian aide organizations and orphanages.

Actually after your messages I wanted more info and have found a family adopting a special needs angel from Haiti - and the poor fellow was already in an "institution" of sorts - not really sure what to call it but apparently conditions where appalling.

Lots of families use "online" names for their kiddo's - its a good saftey feature for public blogs!

Do you have to travel? or is it an escort system?