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Joined: Feb 2008
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Gecko
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Originally Posted By: Skeeter
And one more thing.. to compare out treatment of parents to how African Americans (notice the lack of your colorfull racist slur) were treated for so many generations is just pathetic. Parents arn't the ones being discriminated against, we are. That's like trying to come out and yell at African Americans for not agreeing with their white slave owners.


Skeeter is absolutely right. I can't even read that word without cringing. A few rants from those of us who put up with descrimination from the masses every day (that most members who are parents will probably never see since they have no reason to be in a MNK forum) is in no way, shape or form comperable to what African Americans have put up with over the years and to this day.


"The world might be considerably poorer if the great writers had exchanged their books for children of flesh and blood." ~Virginia Woolfe
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Shark
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I can't for one second see how racism has anything to do with childfree individuals posting about not wanting children or maybe not even liking children.

Wow! So when did racism become an opinion?


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Amoeba
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"You used a much hated term that has been used for generations to put down people of colour. This same degoratory term is used as a term of endearment within the race. But....only people within that race are allowed to use it that way, lest they be deemed racist."

Can I just say that it is not all 'people of colour' who use the derogatory term in question? The fact that many rap artists (or other groups of individuals you may have come across) use that word as a term of endearment doesn't mean that it is perfectly acceptable within the African-American community in general. Far from it. Infact most 'people of colour' I know would never use that word (as a term of endearment or anything else) and frown upon its usage by the hip-hop crowd. Not everything on TV (or MTV) is to be believed after all.

"Same as in this forum, we are like-minded individuals that need a place where we don't need to tone down our feeling lest they hurt a parent's feelings. Parent's should NOT be in this forum if they are easily offended. We are not talking to an audience, we are talking among friends!"

I don't see how the use of the N word by certain members of the African American community excuses CF people referring to parents as 'breeders'. First and foremost, two wrongs don't make a right. Secondly, the word breeder isn't being used as a term of 'endearment' for other Child Free people, rather as a description of those who have chosen to have children. Thirdly, I think it's up to Bella Online management to decide who has access to this forum (not forum posters themselves). If the members of this forum insist on using offensive language then maybe a passworded site would be more appropriate for discussions.

Again, one can express anger and angst without using derogatory language or behaviour. People who want to find out more about CF people or CF issues are free to visit this forum and continued use of derogatory language will only serve to alienate those people. On the other hand a positive and respectful attitude would help foster a better understanding of CF people and the issues they deal with on a daily basis.

Very warm regards,

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Shark
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- farewell post deleted -

Last edited by BellaOnline; 04/26/08 11:09 PM.
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Parakeet
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Ogo, if you look further back in this conversation, you'll see that neither anger or angst are welcome here any longer, no matter the terminology used. Honest opinions and experiences required disclaimers, even if no "derogatory terms" (by ANYONE'S definition) are used.

I applaud your effort to add some logic to the illogical side of the argument, but I think we'd disagree on which side that is, so I'll not delve any deeper into that portion of my thoughts on the matter.

...Except to say that I see the most recently posted analogies as "apples and oranges" and am baffled as to the point of comparing the regulars here to racists. Umm... HUH?



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Chimpanzee
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Everyone, I would please just ask to take some time, and let things settle down before deciding never to come here to BellaOnline's forums again.

I realize things have been very "fired up" lately, and it seems like you guys are under attack. I do not believe that was the intention of anyone involved.

Things just happened to crop up, with Kim's needing some personal time, some people starting inflammatory posts, and then other posts being misunderstood.

It is very easy when posting on forums for things to be misunderstood and blown out of proportion. Emotions and nuances jusdt aren't conveyed as well in print as they are in person. I've been guilty of that. I try to come back and post clearer things, but don't always do a good job at it, and I'm sure other people are the same way.

So please, just give us some time to get things settled here, and let feelings calm down some. We are also in the rather awkard position right now that our editor conference is going on - so many of our editors are out of town, and unable to respond immediately to problems. Although it had been planned for over a year, it just turned out to be bad timing with all of this happening right now.

Bear with us a bit as we try out the new banner thing (that plainly states this is a child-free forum, so there are no mistakes) and as we work with assisiting moderators.

Thanks guys.



Michelle Taylor
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Koala
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- farewell post deleted -

Last edited by BellaOnline; 04/26/08 11:04 PM.
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Jellyfish
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I appreciate the wishes of those who do not want to participate in a forum that requires polite conversation and am complying with their requests to remove their account access.

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Koala
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WOW it really hit the fan! I dont like trolls a much as the next guy and I dont like cenership either and those the comparison of parents to Jews didnt set well with me I dont think I could come up with a better one myself.

I havent been here for a while but I think that most of the post that rubed me the wrong way was post from people who didnt know that they were in the MNK forum and most after someone pointed this out to them said oops and left the group... I am cool with that. I have been guilty of making jokes about post and a few have really been funny and went well and all in good fun and others have started a rappid decline and ended badly...

I am one of those that post anywhere and everywhere that I find interesting and I have something to say. I try to say it in an unoffencive way and I always post IMO and I dont mean to offend. I started a post in the Wiccan forum a few years ago under Freebubbles called Reseach and I found Fiona and Rae very helpful and willing to answer my somewhat ignorent questions and no offence was taken. They even let me state my christian veiws and there was never a problem.... I even post in the Parent and gay lisbien forums with no problems..

ah....for those that read my first unedited post..oops! I just read the new rules and those are not bad rules... although the term "breeder" to me should be the first hint to people that they are in the MNK forum but... it does tend to make people mad..... but so does some of the terms used to label CFers so in all fairness those terms should not be allowed either! fair is fair.


Last edited by freespirit; 04/27/08 12:42 AM.
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The point of being in this forum system is not to use words considered derogatory towards other people. Being derogatory towards others is not a "right" of being a member of this forum.

If the only way a person can vent is to use derogatory language, then yes, that is inappropriate here. I'm not sure how I can say that any more clearly.

If certain members are saying the only way they know how to vent is to use derogatory terms towards others, then that is not what this forum is about.

Again, I do not find the Jewish term / African-American term analogy to be AT ALL inappropriate. If someone honestly cannot understand why these terms are ALL not appropriate for venting, then again, they do not understand our most basic forum rules. To say "it's not appropriate to bash Jewish people - but it IS fine to bash other groups of people" - that is just not what BellaOnline is about. We are about inclusion.


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