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Criticism #411434
04/25/08 02:20 PM
04/25/08 02:20 PM
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BillieCat Offline OP
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BillieCat  Offline OP
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What is a good way to handle the critical people in your life? Even if it is meant in a good way, to hear it constantly can be a little discouraging. Husband likes to do this even though he means well I suppose. If it was the other way around, he would get mad! The Male Ego.......

How to you handle this ???


Re: Criticism [Re: BillieCat] #411445
04/25/08 02:38 PM
04/25/08 02:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
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Sharon M Offline
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Sharon M  Offline
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Call me overly sensitive BUT I don't think any "criticism" is good criticism. Is there such a thing as constructive criticism?

Negative critical people are trying to control. They are coming from an emotional place that says, if I'm miserable then I want you to feel miserable too.

I always like to remember that a person cannot give more than they have - a critical person cannot give you optimism and enthusiasm if they don't feel that way themselves.

If you're married to the neativity - then you have to work twice as hard to keep your positive attitude. Read and listen to positive materials and talk more often to positive friends.

When someone is "tearing me down" I say positive affirmations over and over to myself while they are talking to me. "I am a good and positive person."

I also try to get out of the situation just as soon as I can.


Sharon Michaels
Empowering and mentoring women to greater personal and professional success.
Re: Criticism [Re: Sharon M] #411450
04/25/08 02:49 PM
04/25/08 02:49 PM
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BillieCat Offline OP
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Great reply smile

You look very happy & beautiful in your picture!

My dad was the same way with criticism!

Re: Criticism [Re: BillieCat] #411455
04/25/08 03:22 PM
04/25/08 03:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
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Sharon M Offline
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Sharon M  Offline
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Thank you - the compliment felt good. Oscar and I are both squinting into the sun. That picture was taken last summer in Gloucester MA on our trip to MA and ME.

My father was also very critical and maybe that's why I am so conscious of it. My husband is encouraging - thank goodness!



Sharon Michaels
Empowering and mentoring women to greater personal and professional success.
Re: Criticism [Re: Sharon M] #411457
04/25/08 03:31 PM
04/25/08 03:31 PM
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BillieCat Offline OP
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Oscar is a doll.

Growing up with my critical father was tough - you know children believe everything they hear. It didn't build my self-esteem or confidence.

So I am also very conscious of it.


Re: Criticism [Re: BillieCat] #411542
04/25/08 06:53 PM
04/25/08 06:53 PM
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hollyelise Offline
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I agree much of what we hear in criticism isn't helpful. It can be hurtful, pointless, or even abusive, but I think sometimes, if used sparingly and said respectfully, it can be both important and helpful. For instance, if we criticize how someone is treating us, isn't that important communication? Or what if a loved one is drinking or taking drugs or if a child was doing something dangerous or wrong, would it really be better to be silent and not criticize how the other is behaving? And i think it's important for us to be able to express our opinions, even when we don't agree. Sometimes i think it's not so much that it's criticism, but rather how it is said. Dissenting opinions should still be offered respectfully, and with sensitivity to the other's feelings.

I don't think that is the kind of criticism Billiecat is talking about, though. Sometimes people criticize out of a bad habit, or like Sharon says, because they're miserable, or even are trying to control. I guess what i've tried to do when i've found myself in situations like that is first to let them know i don't like it, and sometimes get myself away from their presence until their mood passes. Sometimes I've told people why i was hanging up the phone, sometimes i've stepped out for a few hours to give myself a breather, and twice, after communicating that it had to stop over weeks and they continued to habitually criticize, i decided to end relationships. What are you thinking you should do about your situation, BillieCat?


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