Michelle Jean - I don't feel like I ever had a defining moment. It was more of a metamorphosis. I guess when I was a teen or in my early 20's, when having kids was a very far off possibility, I guess I thought one day I would have them (as many women do). I am now 33, got married at 29, and the biological pull or desire or ticking clock has never started. In fact, the older I got the more aware I became of the sacrificies, responsibilities and realities of what having a child meant and I could not get excited about jumping on board that train. I would always push having to make the decision. I always say too that I like kids (some of them, in small doses) and it is not as much that "I don't want kids" as it is that "I do not want to be a parent" and deal with the things that come along with that title/role.
I have a friend who had a baby late last year. She said she can't wait until her son starts playing baseball or soccer so she can go support him at games. She said she can't wait to help him carve pumpkins, have sleep overs and birthday parties and go to school plays, etc. She is excited about those things. To me, it sounds utterly awful.
I agree with everything in this post. This is exactly how I feel. In fact, I've considered myself a "fencesitter" for a while, but the more I think about it, the more I begin to realize that I just don't want to be a parent, not to mention I can't fathom being pregnant.
I come from a large extended family myself. Grandparents had 9 kids, incl. my dad, so I have 21 first cousins, 10 second cousins and 1 niece - and that's just my dad's side!
In all those people, I am the only person in my family to have a college degree. I worked very hard to get through school. It took me 7 years to get a 4 year degree b/c I had to work full time and go to school at night.
I feel like I've earned my right to live my life the way I want, without judgement. I worked hard to get my degree and get a good job and I don't want to limit myself by having children.
Plus, growing up, we were very poor. My parents had my brother when they were just 19 and 20. They didn't go to college, heck, they didn't even graduate from HS. So we never got to travel, we never went on vacation (except to the mtns to go camping). I was 22 the first time I flew on a plane!
I want to enjoy the opportunities that I have in front of me now.