BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Baby stalked!

You're telling me! Ever since I posted that I've been wanting to delete it, knowing it's surely offending someone, feeling self conscious, feeling like I'm really a dork, I probably was imagining it, and now everyone thinks I'm trying to be a hateful person or something. What fun!

I don't understand why anyone would go out of her way to get her baby noticed by a total stranger (who she'll never see again) just to get a compliment for her baby. It doesn't matter if it's a baby, a dog, a new outfit or whatever. If I want to give someone a compliment, i will. But if someone is sticking whatever it is practically up my nose to get a reaction out of me, I'm going to ignore the person.

I've been known to pay a compliment to many a mom with a well-behaved or particularly cute child, BTW. But I would be annoyed if a person sat right next to me in an empty waiting room while I was trying to read a book.

I do know EXACTLY what you mean. I know that feeling well, when someone is deliberately making a fuss of their child to get attention. I do remember one instance on a plane where a couple had a kid, and were playing a game with it to make it giggle hysterically, and then they (the parents) would look around at the people nearby, as if to go "hey, are you noticing? Isn't this fun?" It drives me spare - I hate responding in any situation when there is an expectation of me responding in a certain way. It makes me deliberately ignore the person trying to get the attention.

Re your doctor's waiting room story - I am so glad you responded that way. I would have too. It is rude, intrusive and presumptious to assume that you can walk into any space and start commanding it. We all have achievements in our lives we are personally proud of, but we don't have to thrust them on people. Same goes for children.

Frieda, I know what you mean. I have decided to be bullish and post as I have always posted.

"Baby stalking" - what a great term. And no, I don't care if it's politically incorrect and apt to ruffle mothers' feathers. I have also witnessed this behaviour, albeit not the same extent as some of you (the monitor invasion story springs to mind). I react by giving such people the exact opposite of what they want: I blank them completely, and if I do make eye-contact, I look as disiniterested as possible. I hate the expectation that everyone within a 50-metre radius of a small child must coo and gush. If a child is behaving nicely and happens to smile at me, I'm happy to smile back - but I will not do it to stroke the mother's ego.

Sorry, the latest drama has made me feel a little defiant.

A different take on this:

I was so happy when I adopted my cat.. I would show everyone photos and assume that everyone would want to listen about how Mummy's cream puff vomited on the carpet and scratched me so I bled all over my jeans..

Until someone on a different forum pointed out that I was just as bad as a Mother.

Urghhh... major embarassment and self reflection followed - she was right, I mean, I just *assumed* that everyone would want to look at the cat photos - I never thought that people would hate them...

Sooooooo now... I'm much more less 'in your face' about my cat and my life in general... if someone asks - I tell them, if someone doesn't ask, I refrain from saying anything at all....

Which is why I do tend to cut parents slack as they might not have realised that not everyone likes and wants to coo over babies.... I don't scowl at them and I'm polite and most parents realise very quickly that I'm not really interested and just leave it there - so noone gets offended

Personally, I enjoyed the term "Performance-Mom"... cool!
I had a similar situation at work, I'm sure you have all been through it. The one where your co-worker has been out of work for a few weeks because she was pregnant and just recently had her baby. One day, out of the blue, she decides to drop by at her (former/future) work place to "SHOW OFF THE BABBBBY!"....
Immediately, a huddle forms around the baby (mostly women), all work is ignored and the cooing and ooing and aahing begins... The new mom basks in the limelight. Now, don't get me wrong: I am happy for them, but for cyring out loud, it's a baby! It's unique and special... just like all the other 8 Billion people on the planet... anyway, I was making copies in the reception area while this was going on. A male co-worker was also in the area and I could tell from his body language that he was about as excited about this whole going-on than I was. So I looked at him with a twinkle in my eye and exclaimed "WOW! LOOOOK! IT'S A.... BABY!" and just continued with my work. He grinned back and we had a non-verbal understanding. I thought it was funny.

That happens at my work too. I've had grandmothers ask their daughters or sons to drop by with the baby so they could show it off.

I usually put my head down and stay in my office.

On occassion, I have been known to glance and smile, but that's it. A poliet 'No, thank you' and walking away usually gets me out of holding the baby.

What really gets to me is when the child coughs or sneezes without covering their mouths, and the parents don't care.

I work at a library and that happens quiet often BilleCat. It's nasty. I've only been baby stalked a few times and I just get out of the situation as soon as possible. Thankfully most people seem to sense I'm not a baby person.

Wow you must be patient to work at a library - they are now swarming with kids who scream and yell - I used to think libraries were for quiet!