BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Another one bites the dust ...

So I found out that a girl who is literally 11 days older than me is due in August. She and I aren't great friends, but our parents are best friends, and when we were kids we were really, really good friends. And we still talk often, I was invited to her wedding but couldn't go (she lives across the country.)

She got married last June.

So this just goes to show you that all my friends (but one) who currently have kids really did get pregnant before their first anniversary. (Oh, and I just found out that my best friend from junior high got married in 2002 and had her daughter in 2003.) So (not including friend from jr. high) -

Friends who have Kids: 6
Friend who got pregnant before first anniversary: 5

I was thinking of trying to go out and see her in PA this summer but since we're going to Seattle we decided not to go to the East Coast. Good thing.

Oh, and apparently she told her mom that she was registering for two of all the "big stuff" like car seat, crib, changing table. Her mom said, "why?" L said, "so you can babysit." Her mom said, "nope." Apparently L thought her mom would quit her job to babysit (L said she'd pay her.) Her mom said, "I still have kids in the house. I've raised all my kids. Why on earth would I want to raise another?" (L is the oldest of 4, but there are about 8 or 9 years between her and the next oldest because her mom got remarried.)

Good for L's mom!! Way to put her foot down!

Yeah really! That's awfully presumptuous. Although I guess there are plenty of grandparents out there who end up watching the kiddies.

And mostly for free.

I know my mother would love watching a child if I had one. She adores watching my niece, anytime. She does it as a favor to my sister and also b/c she loves the child very much.

But that doesn't mean she wants to be taken for granted about it either. No one should 'assume' in this kind of case.

That sort of assumption is just RUDE. Seriously. You want the kid, but you also want to just palm it off on someone else, and expect them to rearrange their life while you get on with yours?

Um, entitlemuch? Good for L's mom for saying no!!

Good for the mother. In todays world, people need to keep working to make it - not take "time out" because their kids don't want to hire a babysitter.

I worked a 4pm - 1am shift with a woman who babysat her grandkids all day and then worked with us. Half of the time she was "babysitting", she had to sleep. It totally whacked out her system and made the job unbearable to her.

She was tired and made mistakes. Therefore, the boss was on her a lot and she would cry. (being tired and embarrassed)

She left a great job she enjoyed - selling jewelry at a department store. She did it, so her daughter wouldn't have to pay a daycare.

We all wanted to kick her daughter's butt. How rude, selfish and intolerable.

Grandparents LOVE their grandkids - but not all the time, anytime.

They have earned the right to some freedom while they are young enough to enjoy it. Let them!

I just found out now that a gymnast I used to work with just got married and got pregnant within a few months.

Geez, I find out about two in one day!

What is this trend???

*shakes head sadly* Geez, Lynette! Why else would they get married? There's no point in getting married if you aren't going to have kids! Silly girl!

*sarcasm off*

Lynette,
EVERYONE in my family does it. I just don't get why anyone would purposely get pregnant right away without first spending a few years together, getting to know each other as a couple--especially if the couple dated less than 3 or 4 years before they married.

Having children is the biggest decision a person/couple can make. Building a strong marriage first seems like a no-brainer to me.