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Joined: Jul 2007
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Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jul 2007
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I don't know where else I can come with this. Some people, I'm sure, would scream, "A shrink!" *sigh*

My boyfriend, who has grown children and who just moved into a little house alone, was telling me tonight of his toils with the bugs in his backyard. He apparently got some kind of bug fogger and was going around his plushly adorned backyard fogging his brains out. He said he thought he might be wrecking some sort of food chain, but said he went right on fogging. Then, he said, he saw a lizard drop dead out of a tree and hit the ground. Then he said he came upon some bird eggs in a nest, and I stopped him, saying I didn't want to know any more -- "Please, stop," I think is what I said rather abruptly. But he for some reason kept regaling his tale. "I couldn't believe the thing just DROPPED DEAD right in front of me," is something similar to what he continued, and I couldn't take it anymore. I felt such a surge inside me to shut him up without hanging up the phone, so I said something that would hopefully make him as sick as I felt - something that would make his stomach turn and make him want to HIT something, as I was feeling upon hearing of his carnage. What I said wasn't nice...not nice at all...and I won't repeat it, though since I wanted it to hit home, it was regarding my indifference to harm caused to small children and my ability to discuss it all day in ways to stop it as opposed to discussing animals dropping dead because of his bug spraying. He said, "No, I don't really want to talk about that - I have children." I felt like saying, Mmmkay, I don't have children. Sue me. But don't think I'm cool with casual conversation about poisoning perfectly happy animals that drop dead because you can't find a better way than Off spray.

Of course I don't put children on the same value scale as lizards...that would make me kinda warped as a human. My point here is that I just hated hearing about it. I know, I know...we have to hear about all kinds of travesties in the world on a daily basis (one of my worst is shark finning - I can't stand it), but when I nicely asked him to stop, he kept it up.

Does anyone else experience this anxiety and hypersensitivity with animals while not being able to relate like parents do (other than the human kindness general spirit that won't harm anyone anyway) to harm to children?

I know this opens the whole freaking thread to parents I don't need to hear from with the whole "You wouldn't know if you didn't have your own," thing, but frankly, that's old, and I've heard it 27 times, 52 differnt ways. *YAWN* I get it. I'm asking people who didn't have kids...do you feel anything similar?

Just as a disclaimer, I really do like kids. Don't put that "You'll never get it" rap on me because of this post. I've rushed to pick a child out of water before when it fell over a pier and the parents freaked out; I've done lots of things with kids at church, and I actually cry every time I get around a petting zoo -- God's innocents interacting. So please, save your posts that judge me. I'm really asking the MNK room posters if they ever have feelings like what I felt tonight.

Last edited by Angela P; 04/22/08 12:50 AM.

"Men and women think that it is necessary to have children. It is not. It is their animal nature and social custom, rather than reason, which makes them believe that this is a necessity." --Democritus
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Jellyfish
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I CANNOT believe I'm still awake and posting at midnight, but I can't sleep and thought I'd check out the forum - and I had to post.

I'm not indifferent to kids. I actually adore most children and plan to become an elementary school teacher. I hate hearing about stories of child abuse and the like - I'm pretty sensitive and they make me cry. I adore my nephews, and would be horrified if anything happened to them.

However, I'm super-sensitive to stories about animals. I refuse to use poison to get rid of pests or weeds because I think about how it would affect animals. I've named the three hummingbirds and two squirrels that live in my yard. DH even has to change the channel when that commercial about support for neglected animals comes on and they look so sad, because I'll start bawling. He won't tell me stories about hurt animals because he knows they upset me. Once about four years ago, when DH and I found out that we were getting our house, we were driving to my mom's, whooping and hollering because we were so excited. A bird flew into my path and hit my tire and I ran it over. I instantly started sobbing. Whoo. Getting teary-eyed now. Definitely time to sleep.

So, yes, Angela, I definitely understand how you feel!

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 128
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Posts: 128
There was this huge, huge debate over on another womens forum....

It went something like 'Who would you save, a dog or a kid in the middle of the road?'

I voted for the dog. eek

Now, I'm sure I'll go to hell etc and partially I *was* being contraversial (why follow the crowd?) However, I believe that if it was *my* cat and a strangers kid in the road... I'd save my cat.

You should have seen the response... it was most, erm... amusing.

Good for you for saying something to make *him* feel sick... I've done that before and I don't regret it AT ALL - after all, people can be really insensitive and considering he didn't shut up when you asked him to.. I'd make flipping sure I carried on.. and on.. and on.. talking about something very unsavoury just so next time he might actually respect your wishes and keep his mouth shut.

I don't have any feelings for children (although at the moment I think I'm quite hated on the other forum as I recalled my 'kids + busy road' story over there yesterday and got flamed to buggery :D) I don't hate them... I don't love them... I'm totally apathetic...

However I adore animals... I love photography, mostly nature photography and really dislike taking photos of people. Don't get me wrong.. I don't hate 'people', I just have a very, very low tolerance of idiots. tired

I was watching a program on BBC2 a while back.. was to do with 'Springwatch' and Bill Oddie said (For all you in the US.. Bill Oddie is a bit of a legend in the UK.. he's an old bloke with a beard who's slightly nuts about nature things) 'Now, I know a lot of you wanted to know about the baby bluebirds... sadly they died'

Cue me bursting into tears..

Not sure if any of that made any sense... hopefully it did whistle

Joined: Sep 2007
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Shark
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Hmm... is it possible to give a mixed response. I adore my animals because of their eternal innocence. They will always be my "children" and will always look at you full of hope and simple understanding, that with you here all will be ok.

But I also equate that to a small child. Very young children also possess that innocence and reliance for help that touches my heart....of course they do drift away from that at a young age.. and that's when they lose me.

My pets will always love me simply for being there and loving them. Children will love you..but they can't give that same kind of blind adoration that just gets to my soul.

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Gecko
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Skeeter, you have hit the nail on the head for me. It is about that innocence. Anything innocent and vulnerable that is treated badly breaks my heart. But i have always had a particular soft spot for animals. I always have Kim's words ringing in my head from the article she wrote about pets: "we are their advocates in this world."

When I was a small child my mother would read me a book that was handed down from my sisters called 'The Littlest Mouse". It was basically about a little mouse who was the runt of the litter and got left behind by its family. It was supposed to be a happy ending because he found an acorn or something to curl up in as a little home of his own, but that story, and the thought of the little lonely mouse, left me aching inside. (I don't think my mother realised quite what it was doing to me!)

I don't know if I ever dare volunteer for the SPCA. It would just break my heart. But, the same would be true if I worked in a Russian orphanage or something.

Sorry you went through this with your boyfriend Angela.

Last edited by FeebeeGeebee; 04/22/08 05:54 AM.
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Shark
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I think you would be wonderfull at the SPCA. Because of your love for animals you would do great work for the ones that you can help. Although I am sure you would cry when you couldn't help. Which is ok as well because "crying lets the sad out".

Joined: Jan 2008
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Shark
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'Who would you save, a dog or a kid in the middle of the road?'

The dog was probably in the middle of the road b/c it was trying itself to save the kid that was in the middle of the road!!!!!

My dogs are awesome and are my babies and like an instinctive mother..I would rush to save "my babies"!



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Gecko
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I hate seeing cruelty and watching violence particularly against the vulnerable...children, animals, the elderly, women - any group/person/creature in a weaker position...
I hate watching nature documentaries - can't bear to see the tiny impala stray away from his Mum and fighting for his life when attacked by lions.
I can't watch films that show cruelty to animals - I recall many years ago watching a film about WW2 - people being shot, gassed...it was overwhelming - the scene that ended it for me - a lady trying to protect her cat - it was regarded as food by her house mates...they were all hiding from the Nazi's...
My DH thought it was strange that the film showed all sorts of horror but the cat being pursued around the house finished me off - I left the room - couldn't bear to watch or hear the cat's cries...
I had nightmares for days - the thought that I might not be able to protect my cats - that they could be thrown in a cooking pot!
Over the years I've taken on pro bono work to assist elderly people who have lost money in scams..they are often targeted by disreputable people. I also, do some work for a womens organization.
It's interesting that more and more I let things pass if it only affects me - I'm much more likely to "stand my ground" for someone else or an animal - protect their rights.
So, I couldn't say that animals are the only group that bring out the "protector" in me - it's quite a large group really...but animals are right up there...


Last edited by Deborah49; 04/22/08 07:46 AM.
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Koala
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I think the thing here is that a lot of people will go out of their way to protect children, but don't have that same instinct for animals. They are "less important" than humans; therefore, we don't have to care as much if our pesticides kill lizards.

I think that's why many of us do have a hyper-sensitivity towards animals. It's human nature to automatically care about children, even other people's children, but I don't think it's that natural to care about animals in the same way.

Joined: Apr 2008
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Newbie
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Love for Animals, Indifference to Children?

it's very sad when it happens

Last edited by sonia.c; 04/22/08 08:09 AM.
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