thanx Cindy - Id wear jeans under the dress too if i wasnt very scared of what they might say or do to me - my nan specially
lisa - they wouldnt let me wear boots - again if i wasnt scared of what might happen id do it
charity - they dont care that its frilly and femmy and will make me look like the girliest girly girl - my nan is the same person that tells me im "blessed" to have such a large chest and femmy figure - oh and that its "Gods will" - no matter how it doesnt match with how i feel inside or

i feel scared and very alone a lot - the fact that the big city is 3 hours away doesnt help
this is also only the d�butante ball - later theres the year 10 formal (formal = prom in americanese) and the year 12 one