BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids "Why are you childfree?" esp good for fence-sitter

20 pages of reasons why people are childfree. Unfortunately they won't let you add to it. Actually, it's MORE than 20 pages. It's HUGE. Check it out sometime.

http://p070.ezboard.com/fchildfreefrm2?page=1
Why are you childfree

Thanks for sharing this. I hadn't seen it before. I haven't read much of it yet, but I'm already laughing hard about the first one: Because I don't have any recipes for placenta.

Ha ha!!

Placentas are quite slippery and should not be left laying around where people can step on them due to the risk of falling. They also emit an odor which attracts nasty predators, such as coyotes, cougars, bears, and the neighbors dogs. So, just in case you should ever happen to trip over a placenta that's just laying around, here's how to deal with it: Call it...

The Old Shepherd's Recipe for Placenta:

1. Get a shovel and a pitchfork.
2. Using the shovel, dig a nice hole in a handy patch of dirt.
3. Using the pitchfork, pick up the placenta and place it in the hole.
4. Using the shovel, fill in the hole.
5. Using any handy water supply, rinse off the the shovel and the pitchfork.

Note: It is possible to omit the pitchfork but managing to pick up a slippery placenta with a shovel and get it into the hole without dropping it several times (usually on your shoes) takes a lot of practice.

Now that y'all know that, y'all can have all the kids* you want without worrying about what to do with those nasty placentas!
(*Kids = the offspring of Mohair, Angora, Cashmere, Pygora, and any other breed of GOAT.)

Also note: Caution: do not read this note if you're squeamish and/or easily grossed out. The above instructions for dealing with placenta only apply if the ewe, doe, cow, dog, cat, etc. has not eaten her placenta. Most will do this if given the opportunity.

Placenta stuff - not kidding here, folks. I live in the Tampa area and we have many Cubans here. Honest - they use the placents for shark bait. I didn't believe it when I first heard it, but a co-worker convinced me it was very true!

Why I am child-free.......my 2 cents.

#1) I do not relish the idea of being on guard 24/7/365 until they are 18 or 21 and "legally responsible for themselves".

#2) I was always worried about making ends meet for myself - let alone being responsible for other people.

#3) My patience is very limited. It is better now than when I was young. Children need patience.

#4) I never thought I would ever find a man that would be there for the kids 24/7/365 with me all the way until they were of legal age. Too many men run out on their responsibilities (not all - but a lot).

#5) I don't have to see my children come home crying because they were the only child that little stuck up Susie didn't invite to her party.

#6) I don't have to go through the worry that my children will be picked up by a predator, run over by a car, picked on or beat up by other children. I am not worried about them getting cancer or juvenile diabetes or worse.

#7) I am not a partier, but when I go someplace; I do not have to be home by a certain time, or leave work by a certain time to pick up the kids by a certain time. OR - pay the day care or babysitter extra money if I am not there when they want me there.

#8) I am not worried about being fired from my job because this is the 10th day my little Johnny has the mumps and I cannot be at work.

Did you see the 11th reason? Posted by our very own JezThePuff!

And Jez is 100% correct!