BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I used to be more of a liberal

I am liberal in a lot of ways, but I, too, find it hard to be overly sympathetic in cases like the one detailed in the article you posted the link to, Frieda. It seems to me that if you have kids, you have to sacrifice stuff you want/need for their wants/needs. That's just one of many reasons I don't want to have kids. It sounds selfish, but I think that it would be wise for anyone on the fence to really think about it and let it sink in that if the current economy is making things more difficult for you right now, when it comes to paying for gas, groceries, etc., it will only get more difficult when less of your disposable income is going to your wants/needs and more of it is going to your offspring.

It just kills me how so many people live with this "entitlement" mindset, where things should just be handed to them on a silver platter, without having to work for them.

DH & I are making a good living, live in a nice house, and take great care of our 6 cats, as well as going out to eat 1 or 2 times per week, etc. We took a big vacation in 2006, but for the last couple of years, we've been focused on purchasing things for our house and home improvement projects, so we've put off our next major vacation until next year or the year after. We have priorities, and though I think my DH needs to be a little more grounded when it comes to deciding when to make big purchases (I'm usually the one who pulls him down to earth in those situations!), for the most part, we know when not to spend money and save it instead. Things are getting more and more expensive all the time, and I simply don't know how anyone can afford to have kids anymore. It just seems impossibly extravagant to me. Of course, that's just me. I don't necessarily follow life's "script" that says that all people are required to breed. I don't understand why people can't simply limit themselves to 1 child, or maybe not have a child at all, especially when they don't have college degrees or good career prospects.

As a side note, when it comes to bank accounts, etc., I always find it interesting when people think that DH & I are weird because we have separate checking accounts. I guess that's just one more way we're oddballs - in addition to the no kids thing, and the fact that I kept my name when we got married. I know what's in his checking account and he knows what's in mine. His is used to pay the mortgage once a month, in addition to several other bills throughout the month, and mine goes mainly to bills and things we're trying to pay off, as well as groceries/regular Walmart or Target stuff/pet supplies, etc. I find that I am more financially responsible with my checking account and never let the balance get too low, yet he likes to live dangerously as it gets closer to payday. I couldn't handle my account being that low. The thing we have to work on, though, is our savings account, which is in both of our names and isn't as healthy as it should be (it's been like that since we used most of it for a down payment on our house when we bought it nearly 3 years ago) - building up the savings (not just keeping big chunks of change in checking) is one of my goals for the next few years.

One thing that keeps sticking in my head about that article is where the mother says, "I believe in self-sufficiency and everything" or something like that.

WTH does that mean? Who "believes" in self-sufficiency? Shouldn't that just be automatic? It's not a "belief", it's a necessity. By saying that it tells me she's on the edge of going for welfare, because the self-sufficiency thing just isn't working out for her. No admission of her bad planning contributing to her inability to be self-sufficient. It's all the economy's fault.

What does it mean if she didn't "believe in self-sufficiency"? What's the alternative. Okay, I believe in being a burden to others, yep.

One shouldn't just think of welfare as a back-up plan if things aren't going as they hoped. So many parents are not prepared financially, and tell us "It will all work out." If not, the government will back you up, right? .

Personally, the thought of going onto welfare never even occurred to me. I'd do anything I could before resorting to that, whether it was moving to a cheaper place, or getting a different job, or getting an education, or not having kids.

I was reading some of the comments and a man made a good one. He said their mortgage was high for their income and having 5 people to support, but they were still contributing $ to thier 401k, along with paying the mortgage every month. So, they are slowly building wealth. Wealth is built generation by generation, not year by year.

For haiving 3 kids and no college education, making 75k a year, and living in such an expensive area, these people are doing pretty good. What are they complaining about?