BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Our CF status sinking in with "bingo" friends

Hi all - hope you're having a nice Sunday.

Just wanted to report in, further to my upsetting NY Eve with the group of friends who bingoed me all night. (And then DH rang our host and have him a bit of an earful...in a friendly way).

Well, Friday night we went back there for dinner, with the same group of friends. these friends have definitely stopped bingo-ing me and I feel like I have gained new respect amongst them. I feel that it is the result of DH making a statement.

My DH is turning 50 and we recently sent out invites for his party. This has caused quite a furore amongst these friends who can't believe he is 50 (he looks 10 years younger than that). I was asked at the dinner, "but you're our age, aren't you, in your 30s?". I said "no, I'm 42" - they were amazed at that too.

I truly think they didn't realise we were that much older than them.

Today we had two of those friends S and B over for brunch, with their 10-month old baby. While the two husbands were talking in another room, and the subject between S and me was about her being a Mum, I took the opportunity to say "just so you know, we will not be having children. It's because of our age, and the fact that having children would require us to go through a lot of fertility treatment which we don't want to so." She said "Did you want children?" I said, "I have always been ambivalent so I am fine with it".

She was perfectly OK with the answer and we carried on talking.

I really really wanted to say this, because I wanted to be able to play with her baby (which I did) without them thinking I was clucky.

Feels good to start "getting it out there".

Well done Feebee. That was a really great way to approach it with S so that you and she could feel comfortable.

Plus, kind of cool that they all think you're so much younger than you are - the benefit of being CF!

In your 30's? That had to feel good. I got the same thing last week from the guy I was training into my job, he was amazed when I told him I was 41. Guess there's something to be said for being young, carefree, and child-free!

Good for you for putting it out there. Hopefully the grapevine will do the dirty work for you now...

WTG Feebee! I'm glad she understood you and you didn't have to deal with any bingoes! And, of course, it's wonderful to have someone say you look younger than your age.

Happy Sunday to you too!

Right on Feebee! So glad these people are finally getting a clue. I really think it must help (in most cases) if you're firm in your stance. Unfortunately, that's not always possible. We're getting there though! A big cheer for your DH for setting them straight.

Good for you, Feebee! I wish it were that easy for us, but I have the feeling that we'll be bingoed by certain people (not too many actually do bingo us, but those who do never seem to get a subtle hint, at least not right now) for quite a while, since we're still of that prime "child-bearing" age (I'll be 30 this year and DH will be 32 in 10 days). Also, until we are very blunt and say that it definitely won't be happening, we're leaving ourselves open to it.

In my mind, I'm about 99.9% sure, but DH is a little less so - though he's slowly coming over to my way of thinking.

Thanks everyone and yes, it does feel nice to be viewed as younger! And that's what I thought - that the grapevines can do their work. Because I really do enjoy playing with their kids when I see them and I would like to be able to do that without them thinking there's a hidden message in it.

LSU Tiger - I hope you don't get bingoed too much (at least you have our Bingo game to use as practice!! and I wish you all the best with gradually having your husband come around to being CF.