BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Can I get some opinions, please?

I am with you on this -- IF a parent opts to let their child, of whatever age, watch material like that, he should be prepared to discuss the issues at the time, so that he can guide the values. That is part of responsible parenting. This was cable tv -- they are NOT restricted in when they air what the way the traditional networks are, anyway. And honestly, the bar of what is acceptable has been lowered over the years, imo.

Since it's your husband's children, he should have been parenting, imo!

The fact that you didn't take him to task in front of the kids is commendable -- something I suspect he didn't fully appreciate, based on his reaction after the fact.

I'm sorry his unwillingness to be an adult made you uncomfortable. And I don't blame you a bit for feeling that way.

Wow, thanks for all the responses! I did feel that I was in the right with this, but wanted to see what others had to say. I think the next time he asks me what I think he should get one of his kids for their birthday, etc., I am going to suggest a subscription to Hustler or something similar. The only problem with that is that he would probably take me seriously, and think it was a great idea. Unfortunately, my husband is a shining example of why most kids are such out of control brats these days. There is no talking to him, and making him understand anything. He is way too clueless for that.

I'm starting to think that DLEE should have a discussion with the kid's mom to see what her rules are. She doesn't have to mention what is going on in her house, but chances are, if the kids are coming home with stories about what they do at "Dad's House!" then their mom is probably guessing that DLEE is the one who can't discipline.

Or, which would be better yet, ALL THREE parents should get together and decide on the rules when the kids stay at Dad's house. That way, Mom has a say in what is going on, and DLEE has a say what is going on. If Mom doesn't care, then DLEE knows exactly where she stands.

DLEE,

You're absolutely right about this! I can't magine watching this kind of thing with kids those ages! Like others said before, thats why comedy clubs are for 18/21 and over. 'Nuff said.

DLEE--how did this all turn out? Did you and your DH resolve it? I agree with everyone that you were right; kids shouldn't be watching that kind of thing. I also think that in your home and in front of the kids, your DH should support you and agree with you. If he disagrees, then later behind closed doors you can discuss it and come to an agreement. Just because they aren't 'your' kids doesn't mean you can't have/enforce rules in YOUR home!

This is a tough one for me. On one hand, I am a prude (partially raised by a very Victorian granny). On the other hand, I lived in Europe for a number of years so hold a lot more liberal attitudes than many, if not most, Americans.

Nudity and sex in movies and on tv does not bother me as long as it contributes towards the plot. I do not like crude sexual "humor" in any context - it's not humor and is only put in for the shock value.

Of course, if we weren't a nation of prudes then it wouldn't matter since all the nudity, sex, and crude humor becomes very boring very fast.

But DLEE, what I or anyone else thinks doesn't matter. This incident took place in your home and went against your values.
You have every right to be upset by it. No one has a right to come into your home and force their values on you. No one.

I know that this is in now way the same thing but... when my husband and I started dating we went to one of his friends house and the guy had porn on the TV in the living room he didnt turn it off or anything so I sat in a chair facing away from the tv and ignored it thinking well no one realizes its on because the sound is off so...I made hints that we had to go and that we were late..well dh didnt get the hint! my dear sweet almost never to be husband made a comment about the girl on the porn show... now had I not been hinting to leave and had there not been more guys so up and had I not been the only girl there at the time, I might not have been so upset! but I got red faces then they made comments about "Oh look she is embaressed!!!" I was not embaressed I was FLAT OUT RAGING MAD AS HELL!!!

I can see how watching a show with sexual content with your husband and his sons would make you more then a bit [censored]. your husband should have thought about the spot he was putting you in and the impression his sons would have of you!

at 12 and 13 I think they probly hear worse at school now adays but you are right that does not mean that they should hear it at home. when I was that age I watched threes company with my mom just us girls I didnt catch half the jokes and inuendos and I knew that that was not a mixed company show. I thing there is a big differnets between talk shows and comety and sit coms and movies.... with a sit com you get to know the caritors and they have a face and personality so yeah it is funny but...there is still a moral balance there but with stand up comity everybody is faceless nameless and depersonalized which is dangerous because it sends out the message hey this is funny and no one gets hurt or you can say do and think this way because the other doesnt matter. Movies are like sit coms everyone has a face and they matter but with movies there is drama and concequents to your actions in some way from or fashion. talk shows..well they can start a dialog going but between you and the kid but not every talk show is sending a good message like Jerry Spring. do you really want your child to watch Jerry and think that is normal or its ok to act that way?

I know there were some shows that my mom and I would watch and there were shows that I could watch and there was shows that we could watch even if my uncle and cousins were there. I know that people dont catigorize shows like that anymore or even convertations, but use to there was topics just for girls and topics just for guys and then there was mixed topics. Growing up I never heard the women talk about periods, pregnacy, labor, Menopause, sex or female issues if there was a male anywhere in view or ear shot. I was out of high school before I knew what a jock strap was and that was only because my cousins peewee football couch told me my cousins jock strap broke and he need a nother one and I asked what it was...my cousin poped up and said that was what he had to put his family nuts in so they didnt get knocked off the tree.......

I kind of miss those days you know? There is just something about not having all personal problems like those out for anyone to feel free to ask you about! Men did say anything about PMS or that time of the month, and they didnt ask if you where prego, and they most definity never said "Hey you want get laid?" to a complete stranger and expect her to fall at there feet like they are romeo! I dont think men have as big of a problem with the talk about anything but If I was a guy I would not want to be involved in a girly talk. What man wants to here about labor and bra sizes?

Hi Kinder....No, it was not resolved. I didn't bring the topic up anymore after Saturday night. The reason is that I cannot talk to him without him becoming irrate, especially when it involves his brats. He is one of those typical 'parent by guilt' people who strongly believes that HIS kids are angels, know everything they need to know, are child prodigies, and can do no wrong. Part of the conversation from Saturday night was him telling me that he sees nothing wrong with us all laughing and having a good time together. Problem is, we weren't ALL laughing. I was livid.

This is why I think there should be a "family" meeting. Everyone needs to be on the same page.

DLEE - I really think your husband is very disrespectful to you. Why do you condone it?