BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What to Do with Memorabilia that Piles Up - Help!

So I recently bought the 1-bed condo with a loft...YAY me! Now, as I prepare for the move, I look around at all the [censored] I've lugged since college, thinking I would have children. Kids = not gonna happen. I need your help in deciding what to do with all this stuff.

Case in point: I looked at the Mickey Mouse lamp (it's not kid-cheesy, it's sort-of silverish and antique looking) that my father bought for the daughter of my ex-husband when Dad and Mom said they'd pay for a trip to Disneyland. We were all so excited at the time, but we never went, and now that we're divorced, I just kept the lamp as...well...as validation that my dad's wishes didn't go unappreciated. GOD, this is so drama-ish, I know, but anyway, I still have the lamp.

There are many things I've held onto since college (nearly 15 years ago) that I have trouble parting with because I don't want to offend the givers of those gifts, and because keeping them reminds me of their beautiful wishes. Holy [censored], I'm hanging onto a bunch of things I neither use nor need nor want...has this ever happened to anyone?

Advice, please.

Things you appreciate, but do not have a place in your life, deserve a photo, maybe a scrapbook page type of thing, with the story of the item beside the photo, and then you get rid of the item. Pass it on to someone else who can make memories with it.

One photo album takes up a loss less space than cartons upon cartons of unwanted stuff. Take a photo, appreciate the item one last time, and pass it on.

I SO know what you mean. We went through all our stuff in storage and tried to pare down a couple weeks ago. The hardest part for me (besides actually forcing myself to do it) was deciding what to do with things that were intended to someday go to my progeny. I'd saved my favorite children's books, and a few collector dolls my mom used to get me.

As I said, we have a small house too, so it had to be done. We ended up compiling one big plastic box for all our stuff from childhood we just can't bear parting with. Everything else either got taken out of storage and assimilated in our house if we still want it, or we got rid of it. We made a spot in the house for our old toys and books so that visiting kids can play with them.

Traveling light is better anyway.

Myrabeth and Frieda, these are both fabulous ideas. I love the photo album idea and the toy box.

I love the expression that you should have nothing in your home that is neither beautiful nor useful.That has helped me a lot.

I have moved a lot (and between cities/ countries) so have had to purge on occasion. It is really hard but feels fantastic. I have coped with it by telling myself "I loved this lamp, but now there is someone else out there who would love to use it." Than I take it to the charity shop.

I always have a little backlash about 2 - 3 weeks after getting rid of stuff. I suddenly feel like I desperately want one of the items back. Then I let it go, forget about it, and feel just great. Lighter.

There are some great websites on de-cluttering which can get you inspired. One thing I read said to have 4 boxes and then spend an hour or so in each room, very quickly assigning things to boxes. Keep, Give Away, Throw Away and Just Can't Emotionally Deal With It Yet.

When I moved in with DH it was a clutter disaster. I brought my stuff and he was a complete hoarder. I am still, 2 years later, working on his clutter. He is HOPELESS. Anyway, emotionally we couldn't deal with throwing stuff away, and I wanted to hang onto bits of furniture to somehow cling to my independence. So we decided to invest in a small storage unit that we rent monthly, and chucked it all in there. Now, two years later, we are ready to deal with it and i am no longer attached to my old stuff. Sometimes a temporary measure can help.

I found that aspect of getting married again excruciating, ie having to NEGOTIATE all the stuff. At least, being just you, you can make decisions yourself.

I would guarantee that the vast majority of the items that people have given to you throughout the years have largely been completely forgotten by those people by now. I would not be too worried about what they would think about you getting rid of Mr. Fluffy the stuffed bunny that old Aunt Sophie gave you for Easter, 1995.

I went through a similar phase recently when I moved and realized how much junk my husband and I have been storing and moving around. My parents are also going through a purge of their basement where they are finding items I forgot even existed and really don't want. All those years they were safely kept (like, from the 70's) and no one wants them. Old toys, Old baby clothes that I wore that my mom kept.

My advice to you is to seriously, go through the items and keep 5%. Keep the things that are of value (either monetarily or emotionally ) to YOU! Don't worry about what so-and-so will think if they find out that you got rid of the Mickey Lamp. I will bet you that they won't care as much as you think they will. But - don't be silly either. Those Mickey Lamps ar sometimes collector quality or items that are highyly regarded. So a little research before you toss out soemthing that could be worth alot more than the purchase price. Some things are true treasures...but know that most aren't. SO get rid of the dead weight and keep only the most highly regarded by you.

DW and I still need to go through all of the collected stuff we both have. Two people's stuffs joined together that take up a lot of space. A lot of it hasn't seen the light of day since it was boxed up in previous moves, so we've lived without it for years! All we have to do is get off our butts and send it to the dump.

I know this feeling of wanting to get rid of stuff but having an emotionally hard time about it! I still have some things I could stand to donate but just can't yet...

Myrabeth has a great idea to take photos of the items and then purge. I was going to suggest something like that too--take photos of everything and put them in a photo album or scrapbook. The theme could be "my life's little treasures" or something like that. But in addition to the photos, I would write something about each item--why it was important to you (I loved your description of the disney lamp--so poignant!) and why you are sentimental about it. You could even write about the process of deciding to get rid of all the things and how that was hard, etc. 20 years from now it will be fun to look at the pictures and read about/remember what you felt about these items.

Good luck!

I constantly am working on a 2 step process of decluttering. I really like clean lines and uncluttered spaces and that includes my closets. This is my method:

I take out everything in my closet that I "might" not want or am not sure about. I put that into the guest room closet. If I don't go into that closet for a year to get an item, after that year, everything left in the guest room gets donated. My exceptions are suits and formal dresses only. Still I try them on again and if they don't fit, out they go as well. So, now I have an empty guest room closet. Since it's a year later, I go through my main closet and clean it out the same way again.

For my shoes, my rule is I cannot buy another pair until I get rid of a pair.

My MIL passed away 5 years ago and my husband could not deal with all her stuff. Slowly over the years, we have donated almost all of her clothing and have had friends and family pick out anything they can use.

Hopefully, as we are in the process of looking for another home, maybe I can get him to deal with the rest because we are NOT moving it again.

I like the rule about it either has to be beautiful or useful.

For presents, I do feel guilty, but if I don't have a spot in my home for something, I will get rid of it. The sense of peace I get from a clean, uncluttered home is more important to me than anything else.

I used to do this with my daughter's artwork from school. Some of the pieces were very large and took up a lot of room. But now with the photos we can still enjoy them without the clutter. I like the idea of taking photos of other things that are hard to part with too.