BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids "I Wanna Have Your Babies,"

Yes, I am coming to the conclusion that feminism IS dead.

Just the phrase "I wanna have your babies" kinda grosses me out. Words are powerful for me.

Maybe Llyn is referring to the song "Having My Baby" from (I think) the 70's. Two people sing it, a man and a woman. When it comes on the oldies radio station even my mom says she thinks it's kinda gross.

Changing the subject a little, in our Book Club this week, we're discussing Jennifer Crusie's Getting Rid of Bradley (a romance novel). The hero of the story is a guy who thinks marriage/responsibilities = death. Of course, he falls in love with the herione and then marriage (to Lucy) sounds pretty good to him. I buy this because I believe in the power of love and meeting the right person changing yor mind about things.

It's a very good book, and Jenny isn't the sort of author who writes epilogues with the couple and their babies 5 years later or anything like that. But in one part of the book, this guy who all his life thought marriage = death, even mentioned kids. It just felt like one step too fast in the timeframe of the book--a week or two. I commented on this, but someone replied today that she didn't think so.

Sigh.

See, I never wanted to get married. So I think that's why my DH thinks I'm going to change my mind about kids. But marriage is different. The reason I didn't want to get married was because I never found anyone interesting enough. Oh, it was all good to go out on dates and stuff, and I did love one of my previous boyfriends (who is my husband's best friend - weird.) BUT - nothing made me go "WOW! I CAN'T LIVE without this person!"

And by the second week of being with my husband, I just knew. We were so much alike and hadn't spent very much time together previous to that. I don't know what happened. We just clicked.

You don't get to choose your kids. And I know for a fact that some people prefer one child over the other - sure, they LOVE both kids the same, but I know at least two moms who definitely prefer one kid over the other.

Ingilbert,
I'm like that too. I was CF and never wanted to get married since I was a little kid. Then, I met the dh (who told me he never wanted to get married either) and we just clicked. We were talking marriage after 4 or 5 months. So, I understand what you mean about changing your mind about one thing, but not the other.

Marriage is one thing, kids are another. Marriage is a wonderful, life-altering thing and I wholeheartedly believe you should go into it thinking you'll do everything it takes to make it work forever. But if it doesn't work, you can get out of it.

Kids are wonderful and life-altering too, but you can't divorce your kids. (Well, I suppose you can, but most people don't and I know I never would.)

Marriage is a big decision, but kids are 100 times bigger, IMHO. And I am not a person who takes my marital commitment lightly.