BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Last ditch effort with pregnant friend

Back in January, I mentioned a friend who is pregnant with her second child and how I have not heard from her. Well, I visited with a mutual friend, who is cf, asked if she talked to her. She has not heard from her either. I decided to swallow my pride and email this pregnant friend. Well, its been a week and I have heard nothing. Not a hi, nada. Interesting how she has dropped all of her friends without kids. That was my last ditch effort to salvage a so called friend. Now I know, no reason to try to contact her anymore. At least I made the effort. Whatever. Move on. At least I don't have to worry about attending some dumb baby shower. Get out of shower free card.

I'm really sorry you lost your friend Lua! It's HER loss. No one can say you didn't try, can they? No baby shower is the bright side.

Hugs.

I'm sorry, I know it's sad when a friendship seems to be lost . At least you made the effort so it can't be said you didn't try to keep in contact.

That sucks. And in two years she'll say, "no one keeps in touch with me. What is wrong with them?"

((((hugs))))))) to you! That is sad, but at least you made the effort. This has happened to a lot of us here, and I'm sorry it happened to you too lngilbert's probably right--she'll wonder why she has no friends in a few years. And yeah, you lucked out not having to deal with a baby shower!

Yes, she will eventually wonder why she does not have many friends in a few years. Looking at her history of friendships, she is one of those needy people who will latch on to people for a year and without warning, drop them like hot potatoes. I have seen her do it to three people already. And those people she dropped were also parents. I think its sad on her part. Our cf mutual friend said she always has some sort of drama going on her life. I was also told by her and another acquaintance that she should not have gotten pregnant. She and her husband were having problems and now they have a baby on the way. They believe it will make their marriage better. Well, sadly that does not work. And she is always mad at someone for whatever reason. She's outgoing and will always find new people to hang out with. But what she does not realize is people will catch on and abandon her altogether. I am kind of sad, but not surprised. And at least I made the effort, that way she can't say I am the one who did not try. At this point, I am just going to leave her alone and wish her well.

Wow lua, this girl sounds like she is in for some real trouble. From your description, I'm wondering if she and her dh have some kind of codependent/abusive relationship going on. It is not healthy to keep dropping friends once they get close enough to see what's really going on. And having a baby is NEVER the solution to a bad/failing relationship--how many times have we seen this?!!! It just goes from bad to worse once the baby arrives because that's even more stress and needs they aren't capable of coping with and resolving. But, while I'm feeling sorry about her situation, she is obviously making the decision to be in it, so hopefully she will learn her own lessons. Unfortunately, it looks like she's having to bring another human being into the world to do it

You know, some people are just like that. Friendship means very little to them and they dispose of people like most people do socks. I am very wary of anyone who too quickly appears to be my "best friend" because I've been dropped one too many times by these same people. It hurts...

Lua - I'm sorry you lost your friend...I know it stinks as it happened to me too. Not sure what happens to women when they have children...it is like they are taken over by aliens or something....ha ha. I think they get wrapped up in their own "baby world" so much that they don't take the time to keep other relationships alive. And yes, some actually get jealous of us because we DON'T have kids and ARE enjoying life while they sit at home with poopy diapers and bottles. Whatever the reason, just remember: It is her loss. And to look at the bright side..no baby showers, no baby stories to listen to and no trying to plan a night out around her babysitter schedule. I know it still stinks though...Hugs ((((((LUA)))))))

I think its a codependent relationship. She has battled depression off and on since I have known her. And has major trust issues stemming from a bad childhood. She disclosed some problems she was having with her husband ie: jealousy and trust issues. From the get go, this relationship has been unhealthy. Being from a different country, they don't discuss problems with outsiders. Whatever, it is what it is, and she chooses to live a drama filled life. I am past that point in my life. I have plenty of other friends. Sadly, she is bringing a new child into the world to learn lessons. I hope things work out for her.