BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Another reminder of the $$ we save!

Found this on Salon today, lots of comments to follow.....

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At my SIL's baby shower yesterday, she got so much [censored]. Some of the stuff she was like, "did I register for this?" (which I think is very rude to say when you open a present) and every time the answer was YES. If you can't even remember registering for it, you don't need it.

There is WAY too much [censored] out there for kids. I was an only child and didn't have as many toys as people think only children do. I remember a majority of my toys and loved them a lot. I spent most of my time just playing by myself. I didn't need all this "stimulation" [censored].

My nephews have a ridiculous amount of toys, too. My sister is very frustrated with the amount, actually. She doesn't buy it, her mom and her MIL buy them.

We always try to get our nephews something like a book. We got the 3-year-old a tent and sleeping bag and flashlight for Christmas. We also have adopted whales for both boys. They're not that "fun" but the 3-year-old does understand to a degree and talks about "his" whale.

I'd rather get them to care about the environment (without scaring them - that's a huge thing) and be interested in searching out their own amusements and hobbies than force all that [censored] on them.

And I bet that my SIL got at least 30 outfits for her baby at the shower. I'm sorry, but kids really don't need that many clothes. Yes, it's nice to be able to change them often after they spit up or whatever, but you really don't need that much. You could probably get by with 10 onesies for every 3 months. They grow out of them so fast. I remember my sister complaining that she had received so many nice clothes for her first son and he wore them once before he grew out of them.

I looked at my SIL's baby registry the other day. I couldn't believe how much was on there. I said to DH, "kids don't need this much [censored]." He said yes they do.

No, they really don't. Really. So I didn't buy her anything. I got her something when the baby was born, I figured she didn't need anything else from me. I bought the cake for the party. :-)

That is the HEIGHT of rudeness. The concept of registry is kind of obnoxious as it is. (I did it when i got married, but even while doing it it felt kind of scummy to me, like sort of in opposition to the definition of "gift", so I am not saying I'm immune to the gift grab myself. It's just that when I hear stories like this, it kind of becomes more clear to me). So to add to the underlying rudeness by not even remembering or acknowledging that YOU picked it OUT, and STILL it's not what you want? How gauche.

And i completely agree about too much stuff. Considering how much trouble we have storing and keeping track of the stuff us adults have, I can't imagine where we'd put all this stuff everyone apparently Needs with kids.

o_O I always figured the point of a registry was if someone didn't know what to get you, they could look there and see where your tastes lie, or take the easy route and just get that. For people to think that's the ONLY thing they should get...Yeah, I wouldn't bother socializing with that person any more.

I didn't even have a registry for our wedding, we specified no gifts because the whole "buy a present as your entrance fee" thing seems a little tacky to me. I have stock standard presents for baby showers/parties - nappies, organic body lotion and an organic pamper pack for mum. That way, it is useful and will be used.

We didn't have a registry for our wedding and/or party. If you really don't need anything, shouldn't you feel guilty asking for things which you truly don't need? As it seems like people are living/cohabitating together more often before marriage, I would think that couples tend to already have many of the items needed for day to day living.

We had a registry. We were 24 and 26 and had never lived away from home before. We needed everything. Amazingly enough, we got almost nothing from the registry and had to return a bunch of stuff. Some stuff we were never able to return. (Anyone interested in crystal platters? I still have some in the garage--15 years later.) You can register, but you can't make people buy the stuff.

Interesting article! I liked the point they made about parents feeling different about spending on their kids, because "it's not for me, it's for my kids." A Mom I know was telling me about how she doesn't care about material things, and then she followed up with, I spend all my money on the kids. It's the same thing, your kids are an extension of you. And she went on to tell me that her daughter has an extensive flip flip collection. I do, too, because I buy them at the end of the summer when they are on sale, and they aren't expensive, AND you don't outgrow shoes typically. But kids do.

I thought my DH and I were taking the higher road by not registering b/c it has always seemed weird to me. But then one of my aunts was telling my Mom that she didn't want to send money, and asked if we were registered. I think some people thought we "just wanted money" b/c we didn't register, and then didn't get us presents. Which is fine, but what's the difference? When you get money, you buy something with it. And I ALWAYS give money when I go to a wedding. It's just easier for everyone involved.

I'm so glad I'm not a parent! Kids have gotten more materialistic and spoiled. And there is so much peer pressure to buy all of that stuff.

I think it can be good for parents to have lots of clothes, but they can always bulk up by borrowing extra outfits that their friends' kids have outgrown. Kids mess up their clothes so bad. One of my friends told me she had her daughter at an amusement park, and she had "explosive" diarrhea, and she ended up just throwing the outfit in the trash b/c she couldn't carry it around all day. So glad that is not a part of my life! Cheers to being CF!

I grew up with the minimum - and I appreciate my parents for that. Everyone got all the toys they wanted - I may have gotten one a year. Then growing up, they all had the special clothes, etc, and I was given just what I needed and that was it.

I also didn't have a wedding registry. I know it can come in handy for some people, but we were older at the time.

I'm okay with the idea of registries because then I don't have to worry about getting a duplicate gift. But some people just go overboard, registering at three or four stores, or registering at really expensive stores, or listing hundreds of items. (I've had registries that were something like 10 pages long.)