BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why do you WANT children?

>You know what I find ironic? That the vast majority of CF'ers are outraged by seeing a kid abused, yet so many parents accuse us of being cold or heartless for not wanting kids.

You haven't heard it from me -- I've always thought it was an individual choice. But there IS a reason that child abusers have the shortest life expectancy in jail -- even among criminals, they are considered the lowest of the low.

>My DH is reading a book about Native Americans right now, and one thing it said is that it was taboo to have sex with a woman while she was pregnant AND lactating.

I hadn't heard about that. Knew about taboos with menstruating women.

IIRC, women in Africa tended to have longer intervals (like 4 yrs) between children -- until they were undermined by the whole idea of bottle feeding. Lactation decreases (though doesn't eliminate) the odds of ovulating, and of course getting pregnant.
It's ashame that "modern wisdom" came over and ruined things -- not to mention that mother's milk is far better for their kids than cow or soy milk.

I'm reading all these posts that talk about how kids aren't allowed to wander around on their own and how they are driven everywhere, and am starting to think this is somehow related to the fact that "kids" aren't moving out of their parents' houses until they are 30 these days...

that makes since! in away but I still live at home and I am 28 but it has to do with the fact that rent for a hole in the wall apartment is $800 or more and a house cost WAY WAY WAY to much and we just cant afford to move out and my mom cant afford to live by herself even though the house is paid for! It is taking 3 incomes to run just one household! I am a diebetic so I have $600 or more worth of meds to buy every 2 months and my husband and mother have there meds that are about the same amount every two months as mine! and we all have health insurence so.... and then there is the student loans that is $450 a month that I cant pay and regular bills and food every month and we dont have creditcard at all..... so......I would say it is the money factor that has kids living with there parents until they are 30+ yrs old here. most of my class mates live with there siblings. parents or have roommates.

Ha ha! The parents must have forgotten to give them that last ride, one way...

free spirit, it sounds more like working to take care of each other than classic "never leaving the mooching off the folks stage" in your case. Three incomes contributing and all three people having medical issues makes your situation sound like a good idea for all parties... provided you all enjoy sharing a home, of course.

well I would love to have my own place but....we tried that and it came down to we could afford to eat or by meds or pay bills or pay the morgage but we could not do three at a time. I think when the rent goes down around here things will be better but... we still cant save money as it is and I would like to have a nest egg to fall back on just incase. and my mom still needs the help as well so...

Ms. A, I think you can exempt yourself from any boneheaded parent attitude that we've encountered, since I've yet to see anything out of you that is unreasonable. It IS good to meet a sane parent after running into so many barking mad ones. :P

I second that! I really do have a healthy respect and High regard for good parents! It is a hard and thankless Job and there is so many unknow varibles out there that It is very scary to raise a happy healthy and productive child! I just wish there was more good parents and less babymakers out there!

It isn't necessarily thankless but it can be from time to time and there is NEVER a break to be had.

I feel like I have been lucky with the daughter I have, she is a good kid, healthy, smart. I just don't want to do it again. I can't imagine having the kind of luck to have two great kids, the second ones are usually a pain in the [censored]. Nevermind the fact that I am in my own opinion, too old. I have a bad back and my mind is turning to mush.

Thirding Grey and Free,
Ms A, I appreciate your non-judgemental posts very much.

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Lisa,
I often wonder why people who have that one very good child opt for the second one. Two kids are more than twice the work. I know having two dogs is more than twice the work. They get into so much more trouble when they put thie little heads together. You have what you can handle. Good for you for not bending to the pressure of that second kid. You and your daughter will have a much closer relationship one-on-one.

Is being an only child really considered such a bad thing by society? I'm biased, of course, because I didn't mind being an only at all. It really bothers me that my older SIL keeps telling my younger SIL that she needs to have a second kid. "You don't want her to be an only child," she'll tell her, even when I'm in the room. I try really hard not to be insulted when she says this, but it's difficult.