BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids One of how many!

I was talking about Dolly Parton on another thread and it started me thinking...many are "put off" or really "think" about parenting when they come from a large family - particularly, a large family with little money.
I've also, read that an "only child" often chooses not to have children - having spent their lives around adults, many don't have an interest in kids or prefer adult interests and company.
My situation:-
I'm the second of five kids - I have a sister...2 years older and 3 much younger siblings (6,8 & 11+ years younger)...my parents were working class - we had a modest home, plenty of food and gifts at Christmas time - however, there were always arguments and tension/stress about money.
I definitely started to question motherhood watching my mother and her sisters and looking at their lives...
I tend to think an individual and independent streak was in there anyway - I know people from large families that went on to have kids without questioning it...
I've also, heard that your place in the family makes a difference - often younger kids have a different experience to the older kids - my older sister took on lots of responsibility and helped raise the younger kids - my youngest sibling had a different childhood - lots of attention and at that point, as the older kids took on part time jobs and started working full-time, the financial pressure in the home eased to some degree...my husband (then boyfriend)and I even took my youngest sibling on holiday with us - 2 weeks in Bali...(he was 12..I was 24)
So, what was your situation?

My father was one of three kids. My mother was one of nine. She couldn't have many kids, in fact - with epilepsy and her medication, she probably shouldn't have had us.

I am the eldest of three kids, and I should have been #4.

My sister wanted children from the day she could talk and tell us what she wanted. My brother remarked that if a certain young lady from his past had stayed with him, they probably would have had a couple of kids. He is very active in the youth group in town.

On the other hand - there is me. When I was a kid, I did not want to be around other children. I enjoy entertaining them, but when I am through, I would like them to go back to their parents.

If you hurt, or attempt to hurt a kid, I'll be the first one there protecting them......but I knew better than to have them.

My dad came from a home of two children and my mom came from a home of four children. My dad was the oldest and my mom was the second oldest. I however, am an only child. And as Deborah pointed out....I have mostly been around adults during my life. Although I loved to play with other kids, I was always much more responsible and mature than them. And as I grew up and began to choose my friends at school, I found myself hanging with kids at least one to two grades older than me. Throughout my life, I have only had a handful of friends the same age as or younger than me (which seems to be increasing these days because everyone is becoming mothers!)

I really am not used to young children or babies and feel really awkward around them. I prefer adults:) Even when I was little (before I realized there was a choice), I said I would adopt a child that was already older (meaning at least 13 or 14)! ha ha!

I come froma family of 8. I am the youngest of them. I am adopted where my parents had 7 natural children then adopted me. It also helps that they are my maternal grandparents so I stayed in the family. LOL

Of my brithmothers children I am the oldest natural born but I have a sister who is adopted from her second husband (who adopted me and my little bro as well from her/the birthmother) who is 6 months older than I.

So I have been the oldest child and the youngest and I tend to take on characteristics of both.

My mom is the middle child (3 girls, one 4 1/2 years older & one 4 1/2 years younger) and my dad is the youngest of 5 (4 sisters, all much older). Mom always assumed she'd have 2 or 3 girls, Dad always assumed he'd have a large family but they divorced when I was 4. I'm an only. Mom never remarried and had no more children. She raised me and my dad lived on the opposite coast. I saw him every 5 years or so. Dad remarried twice and had 3 more daughters + adopted an infant son just 5 years ago.

I grew up in my Grandma's house--just me, Mom & Grandma. I was never lonely and never wished for siblings. I had four cousins who lived very close (I was the second youngest of the five). When I was 11, the babies started coming (to my aunt and older cousins) 11 of them, one a year. It wasn't that I was never around babies because everyone brought the babies to Grandma's house (my house)--like I said, we all lived close. I enjoyed my cousins K and B (the first two born) and have fond memories of them growing up, but caring for them never made me want children.

I always knew I was CF. Though I spent time with my cousins every week, every holiday with them, etc, I preferred our quiet house. I still do. I always loved animals and always knew I'd have lots of them. I always knew I'd work and had no desire to be a housewife or mother. Every girl in my family (except my cousin who's 2 1/2 yrs younger than me) is a housewife and mother, married in her early 20's and has a kid in the first year. I just never considered that lifestyle. I think I'd go insane.

My mom and her twin were the youngest (five kids, but the first born died before the twins came along). My dad is the oldest of four. They always planned two kids, and that's what they got, though the second try almost didn't happen. Mom had a miscarriage when I was about 5 and nearly gave up. It was almost two years later that my brother surprised them. With one kid of each gender, as planned, they stopped.

My mom is the oldest of three, my dad is the oldest of two.

I am my mom's only child, and since it was just us two, I was mostly raised as an only child.

I am my dad's youngest (of two.)

I am the oldest of 6 grandchildren.

I am the middle child (my sister has another half sister who is younger than me who is also like my sister.)

I am everything, and boy is it confusing! It's like, wait, am I expected act like the oldest or the youngest today?

My dad is the oldest of four children. My mom is the oldest of 5 children. I come from a family of seven children and am the middle child. And we didn't have a whole lot of money, my dad was a teacher and mom was stay at home. I personally love being from a large family, but know that I couldn't handle that many kids myself. I am SO close to my siblings, but not close to my parents, because they didn't have time to pay that close attention to all of us. That's the downfall of large families, you feel more like a number. IF I decide to have kids, I know I would never want more than two.

i am an only child and growing up also spent a lot of time around adults. i had friends but i had no problem playing by myself as well. that might be why i really need my alone time even from my DH. anyway, my mom has a sister 7 yrs. younger but they're not very close and my dad had a sister and brother but his sister died over 30 yrs. ago and he also isn't very close to my uncle either. other than my parents and my DH's immediately family i really don't talk to other family members much at all. i don't have a really strong sense of family so that's one of the reasons why i don't feel the need to have kids. i'm perfectly happy with it though. my friends are more like my family.

indigo

My dad is the oldest of 3, my mom is the 5th of 11 children. My mom always wanted a large family but my dad didn't. I am the eldest with 1 brother.

I'll never understand why my mom wanted more kids because her childhood was pretty rough. My dad was never close with his siblings because there is a large age gap between them. Growing up my brother and I didn't get along well. I can't imagine that adding another sibling to the mix would have made it any better.

My mom still laments not having another child, especially now that she knows I won't be giving her any grandchildren.