BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids So when are YOU going to breasfeed?

Oh Christ... this one really had me.

I did my PhD with the nicest bunch of people ever... they were utterly fab and I still keep in contact with all of them.

A guy from Singapore 'S' who is Catholic.. married, one kid.. one on the way.

A chinese atheist,'L' now married, just announced she is 7 weeks pregnant

A black cameroon lady, 'K' who is Muslim, single but wants to get married and have children whilst being an MP in her country

A black guy from Uganda, 'J' who is getting married in August and will then try for children....

... My Chinese mate announced she was preggers and I sent a really nice reply saying ' I'm so chuffed for you, you'll be a fantastic Mum... you're going to be fine..' the usual kind of things really.. I am *genuinely* happy for her and her and her husband are lovely...

Anyway, she emailed all of us and we always 'reply to all' so it's just a big email convo...

J just emailed and in it was...

'Linux when are you telling us about the good news like L and S? When can we expect the first born to be breast fed? Who is next you or K? '

EEEEEWWWWW

Breast feeding... *cringe*

Thing is.. when we were all in the UK, I was loud and my normal self and the culture clashes were amazing.. never rude or disrespectful.. but I thought after 3 years, I had finally hammered home the fact I wouldn't be breeding!

I replied

"K will be next, I bet... as I will be getting sterilised when I am 30 to ensure no children - we are all different and I am 100% positive my future with Mr Linux (we celebrated 6 years together last week - still no plans to ever marry!) does not involve children so 'breast feeding' will be left to you lot or your lovely wives :-) Whilst it's fantastic to hear you are all happy and geared up towards babies.. 'I just don't swing that way' :-)"

I was slightly miffed at the fact that J still hadn't worked out that I was serious about not having kids... but hey...

And then S chipped in with...

'Yes, we�ll expecting our 2nd baby boy in July. With parenthood comes great responsibility, but it's all well worth it. Yes, Linux unbelievable but true!!! ;-)'

That doesn't really bother me... as he stuck the smiley face on to show he was taking the mick...

They're my mates and I have always been able to talk to them bluntly... just what an odd comment 'breastfeeding'

*cringes again*

ICK! Talk about the bingo from hell!

Am I the only one squicked out because a man asked this question? The rest was bad enough, but he was way out of line.

While that remark, especially coming from a guy really makes me cringe, I do think that perhaps cultural differences may have something to do with the way he chose to word his statement.

Yes, this absolutely has to do with cultural expectations. No matter how much you say you won't have children, that simply won't be heard.

As a wife to an African man, it would be extrememly disappointing to not have children. It's almost considered a failure of some sort. It's just not heard of. Then, to not want children... well... how can that be?

Any African that you talk with will probably not understand why you would not want to have children. Even if they seem to understand today, next week they will be asking when you are going to have children.

Also, btw, bottlefeeding is practically unheard of in Africa as well, so breastfeeding it is!

GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that was like a super bingo, a breast bingo. I don't want men that I'm not in a relationship ever talking to me about my boobs... gross gross grosssssssss!!!!

YUCK! YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!

But aren't people more conservative in Africa? I'm really offended that a man would ask another man's wife about her breasts. He carried it that extra step too far, IMHO.

Ahhh.. you see, me being me.. I don't really care about that.

Hell, when he was over here doing his PhD I was talking about all kinds of things to him and all my friends..

.. my periods.. my 'womens issues'... how annoying it is that I find it hard to get bras in my size as my chest is so large...

I find the best way to 'educate' people when they want to know stuff is just to say it.. and as I don't get embarassed about stuff.. I talk to all my friends about stuff..

.. I just thought after THREE years of me saying how much I don't like kids and him not EVER bingoing me.. it might have sunk in!!!!

That is certainly a straaaaange question. I don't know what to think. It's a very invasive way to put it, and none of his business. Does he want to hear about your sex life or something? Geez.

Linux Lady,

That would make more sense then. I'm far from conservative, but I don't usually speak about those sorts of things in front of men.

What Jeanne said makes sense too. He probably just saw what you were saying as blah, blah, blah. When your husband decided he needed to prove his manhood, you'd change your mind.