BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids The obnoxious child

Um, why not? For fear of getting a parent lashing? I mean, it's not against the law to scold someone else's kid, is it? If so, I want the proof.

I don't HIT other people's kids, no matter how much restraint I have to muster, but for God's sake, if a brat were to either hit me; [censored] on my floor and tell me to "eat it" while raising a finger at me; or bite my sleeve with or without a mouthful of chocolate, I would immediately impart the "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child" theory and disipline/scold the kid. I would and I have.

I am no more going to wait on a parent to do something they obviously should have done way before the kid got within my sight AND my home than I would wait on a knight in shining armor to rescue me if I were assaulted.

It's so nice that way in my circle of friends who have kids...they know that about me, and so do their kids. Perhaps it's why a) I have limited time with them and b) their kids behave like angels around me.

I think people who are bitten, hit or treated obnoxiously by a kid -- or if a kid does some kind of intentional damage to anything in their home -- those people are perfectly within their right to scold the kid.

I never speak down to kids...we haven't had too many problems really - we haven't had a lot of kids in our circle - only my nephew.
That's changed in the last 2 years with the introduction of 4 more kids - 3 of them my brothers stepkids - really difficult and disturbed kids.
We see very little of them and intend to keep it that way...
One method of discipling kids that works for me...I was having coffee with the mother of twin boys - a colleague slowly returning from sick leave - the coffee shop was fairly quiet and her boys had been running about... The mother went off to the bathroom and one of the kids went to get up again - I just stared at them and said, "If I were you, I wouldn't even THINK of getting out of that chair"...
Why? "Because there's a sign over there saying all kids must be seated at all times"..."If you get up and end up in BIG trouble with the owner of the shop, you're on your own"..."But we have been up"..."Yes, and don't think HE hasn't noticed...he's got his eye on you"...
They looked baffled and stared around the coffee shop looking for HIM...but stayed in their seats...
The mother returned and was surprised they were still in their seats. I find eye contact, speaking firmly with a hint of intimidation works well...

Good for you, Linux! That is hilarious. That brat deserved it! Deborah, kudos to you. For some reason, kids will listen right away to strangers or friends. It scares the [censored] out of them.

They listen to strangers/parent's friends and not their parents because they KNOW exactly how far they can push their parents, and keep pushing that boundary every single day until the parents don't react to something that we wouldn't tolerate for a moment, like screaming their fool heads off or running around like beasts.

Linux Lady you are my hero! That's too funny.

I have some hearing & balance issues that make me slow to react to things so usually my assailant is streaking away before I know what's happened. I guess it would be in my best interest to "own the room" so to speak- though walking around glaring at kids is not something I'm eager to do.

After reading everyone's advice I think I'll approach these kinds of situations with more bravado.

As for the lady in the yard- she used to be my bff. I'm sure there are worse parents out there, but she is the worst one I personally know. She foisted the kid off on me in that situation because she could. If memory serves, while her kid was threatening me with the finger of doom, she was standing in the yard in some kind of pill induced Paula Abdul trance.

sorry - I double posted

My nephews always minded us and they were always eager to go places with us or spend the night at our house. We were strict and we didn't let them have thier way. After a while, they didn't even try. We'd tell their parents the places we went and that the boys were good and they were always surpised that they boys got along or didn't try to get their way or whatever, then shruggged it off on the fact that we weren't their parents. That's not why they behaved--it's because we gave them no other choice.

One time they both wanted an expensive (and too large for them) milkshake--it only came in one size. My husband ordered one and asked to purchase two smaller cups to split it between them. The younger one, J, started to throw a tantrum because he didn't want to share. "Fine, then," says the hubby, "I'll share it with R and you won't have any."

J tried to throw a fit and hubby told him he'd take him right home. He was shocked, but then decided to keep at it, testing. Hubby told R to come along and walked out the door while J was flailing on the floor. You better believe J came running after them and never pulled that routine again. It only took once for the kid to know he was serious.

That would have been what my mother had done. Why in the world would thier parents put up with this behavior? Whose in charge here?

As a former preschool director I have a tendency to scold or correct other people's children and sometimes they do get upset with me. But, if they say something, I say "Well I wasn't sure you noticed that little johnny was biting that small child, and I didn't want you to get sued or anything."

or whatever I can say to call attention to the fact that had the parent been parenting I would not have had to say anything.

Stephanie,
I like that! "I wasn't sure you noticed..." because, of course if you noticed you would correct the child. Hee.

I am not opposed to scolding someone elses child. I do that all the time with my boss' children especially when they are at work with us. I send em to a chair, make them appologize for smacking each other, and if they hit me, i smack em back and tell em not to do it again or I will be forced to tell mom and she might do more than a little smack back.

my nieces and nephews I will correct. I will not use corporal punishment as that is my sibs job, but I am not afraid to use other discipline methods.