BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Buffet etiquette

I was thinking about this forum Sunday night at a buffet. It was all you can eat and occasionally lobster is brought out. So a pair of men literally follow the guy out, on either side, and take ALL the lobster tails as soon as the plate is put down. They don't let anyone else near it. We heard from other people at the restaurant that these two men do this *every week*.

Doesn't a buffet mean you share with the other people there and don't hog everything for yourself??

I don't know if a buffet "means" you share. Ideally you should share, I think, but by their nature buffets promote this greedy sort of "take whatever you want, as much as you want" mentality, which seems totally against the values etiquette is there to protect. So I don't know.

Did you try complaining to the management? If I were in charge, I'd be afraid to lose other customers and probably give these two guys some sort of limit. Or maybe I'd just limit people generally (e.g., "During peak dinner hours, please take no more than 5 lobster tails per hour.")

That would seem the fairest way to enforce it - to have an actual sign on the item saying "two at a time only please" so that way it's clear that it is for everybody to abide by. But yes management should step in here.

yes, it would be fair to all those involved to say please take only 2-3 per trip to the buffet line.

One local asian buffet limits some popular items per trip to the biffet.

Now that I think about it, yeah, many (maybe most?) of the buffets I've been to (usually Asian ones) have limits on "special" foods, like crab legs and sushi.

Ironically at this one they have a lot of sushi and because they're so much out it's never a problem. You take a variety and there's always more. So people don't go after them like that. It's so interesting how the supply-demand works. If there's a lot of sushi around, people eat it leisurely. If there's only a few lobster tails out, people grab them all ...

"Doesn't a buffet mean you share with the other people there and don't hog everything for yourself??"

How about if there is one item left? Do you leave it or do you hog it for yourself?

How about if it is an item like octopus salad and there is around two tablespoons left on the dish. Plainly it is popular, there is hardly any left. Do you split the remainder in two in case someone else wants some - even though you will not be satisfied with merely one tablespoon?

One more time: ""Doesn't a buffet mean you share with the other people there and don't hog everything for yourself??"

Well, no, I never have seen it defined this way. Anyway, if I am taking 4 lobster tails, I am leaving lots of other food for everyone else. Look at all those bologna & cream cheese pinwheels - I'm not going to take any of them.

I actually returned from a lunch buffet today, where indeed, I made it an "All-the-lobster-I-could-eat" meal. Somedays, that's how it turns out - the lobster and mussel paella just isn't selling to the crowd that is dining. That's fine by me - to my advantage because I happen to like lobster.

Everyone else in the room was eating already when I went to the buffet. they had their chance before I ever arrived to get some lobster. Still, I had a plate of salads first, giving folks yet another chance to get some lobster. the chafing dish was still untouched when I returned.

Should I have left some lobster for diners who had not yet arrived? If so, how much? (I actually didn't take it all, tho' I did take more than half of it. As I was leaving they were refilling the paella.)

by the same token, there have been days when the lobster eaters are out in force, and I can't get a single claw. In that situation, I eat something else, which seems to work out well.

This isn't a case of refugees with a limited amount of sustenance offered to them. We are talking about all-you-can-eat buffets where each diner pays the same freight, takes the same chances and always has options.

Ah, but we're talking about taking a normal portion vs taking an abnormal portion.

If nobody else is taking it, and you take a portion, then that is fine. Just as with any other family get-together or meal. But if there are 12 people at the table, and there are 12 crescent rolls, I do consider it quite impolite to grab all 12 and put them on your plate.

It's like with the sushi. If there are 24 sushi and people are all taking 2 at a time, and it restocks regularly, then it works out. But if one person comes up and takes all 24, then that is being greedy.

OK, speaking from a caterer's POV...

Food service can only put out so much food at one time.

If it is an "all you can eat" buffet, then you can return to it as many times as you like.

So, just for courtesy's sake, it would be polite to only take 1 or 2 of a large item. Of course if there is only 1 of that item left, then someone has to take it. But there is simply no reason (other than selfishness) to deprive others of items that they would like to try as well.

Return to the buffet and get more once you have eaten what is already on your plate.

I agree - everyone should be sharing at a buffet. Maybe when those men follow that guy out - other people should go up there, too.....