BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Who of your mum friends do you feel closest to?

Hi guys
I was thinking today that out of all my friends who are mothers I feel closest to W and C.
W because the atmosphere in her home is so relaxed and unpretentious, she's very honest about the reality of parenthood, and she never bingoes me. C for similar reasons. Both of them have also kept their lives going beyond being mothers.
My least fave friend with a child is F, who has become smug, holier than thou, and judgemental of non-parents, and I must say she never really had much of a strong identity before parenthood.

Do you see any patterns like this in your relationships with friends who are mothers?
Ogriv

Hmm...good question. Unfortunately, everyone I know who has become a mom has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth as far as our relationship goes. I'd have to say my sister turned out to be the most realistic about parenthood and she is still her own person, goes out w/o the kid, etc.

I don't have any friends who have kids--not any more. The one couple we used to get togther with moved away. They used to go out every week or every other week to dinner and a movie without the kids. Often we'd go with them. I miss them.

Actually you're right - I don't see any of them more than once a year. But I dread seeing F these days...

I have a friend who accepts me for who I am with or without kids. Those are few and far between. We see her and her family every single week at church and they are likely more involved in activities moreso than my DH and I. She doesn't let the kids consume her lifestyle.

This is exactly the question I ask myself whenever I have time off and want to get together with my friends. The truth is, at some point, the question becomes whose kids can handle having company(going out in public)? Also, being in my mid-thirties, what the hell are we going to talk about? Then I wind up looking like Weird Auntie K when I drink too much wine because the convo. has gotten on to poop prodigies and I've nothing to say. So, I guess, none of them. Well there was one friend who had grown kids but she moved away.

Welcome Keefe,
You'll find lots of friends here. Too bad we're not all sitting around on overstuffed sofas and enjoying these conversations in real life, but this is the next best thing.

i only have one friend who currently has kids and she really makes an effort to keep in touch and hang out sometimes even w/0 the kids. she's also very realistic about parenthood and really doesn't bingo me at all. in fact i'm the godmother to her youngest child. her and i can talk about a lot of different things too which is really good. my one friend who is pregnant i have the feeling will be pretty much the same way as my other friend.my second pregnant friend lives in another state and sadly doesn't have much of her own life outside her hubby so i dont' know how she'll be. she used to be more like me ind., progressive and so forth but when she met her hubby she became much more the housewife type person and much more conservative. we still get along real well and my hubby and i actually like her hubby a lot but i think that she thought she had to be that way b/c his family is very religious.

indigo

I have several friends at work who are moms...we go to lunch and stuff like that, but I rarely do things with them outside of work. One of them admits how difficult having kids are and says it's not for everyone. She and I have a lot in common, but she is so devoted to her kids, she won't take time away from them so we never do stuff outside of work. Pity.

Cindy

I have two friends who have one child each that I still call my friends...the others (as Kinder said) just fell off the face of the earth. I am the closest to A, who is like the sister I never had. We are very close and always have been. Things changed ALOT when she had the baby, but somehow she remained the same person. She only asked me once if I planned to have kids (long ago) and I told her no...she respects that. And, she knows how to talk about things other than her child so when we get together, we have great conversation. Unfortunately, she lives miles away, so our get togethers only come but once or twice a year. But we keep in touch by phone and email.


Then, specifically one of my other friends, S. Well, when she had her baby, she just suddenly stopped calling or responding to any attempts of mine to contact her...it was horrible. I tried and tried, but finally gave up. I wrote about her on here before actually....when I was so frustrated and annoyed. I still don't know what happened there.