BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I'm sorry to hear that BUT....

I think I'm a fairly compassionate person...I appreciate anyone can fall on hard times but I'm sometimes left scratching my head.
I was catching up on some news from home yesterday and saw a story featured on a Current Affairs program about a couple facing eviction from their home - the Bank is foreclosing...their $24,000 mortgage is in arrears by $5000...
The couple bought the modest home in the country for $35,000 - a very cheap property - it would be hard to find a home for this sort of money in any major country town so, it must be "out of the way"...
This story is highlighting the plight of many families in Australia - there have been a few interest rate rises in the last 2 years and mortgage payments have continued to rise....many people are finding it hard to find the extra money and are falling behind in their payments.
The husband has a "developmental disorder"...the wife has chronic fatigue syndrome and other health problems.
The couple are distraught at losing their home and have nowhere to go - they also, have FIVE very young children!
My mother saw the couple being interviewed on the television - she said the husband sounded a bit "slow" - the wife was well spoken and sounded like an intelligent woman...
I'm certainly sorry about their plight and feel terribly sad about the upset in their kids lives BUT, why on earth would you have 5 kids when things are clearly so tight?...one slip and you hang yourself...
Surely, at some point people have to take responsibility for their actions...why keep having children and jeopardizing your ability to care for them properly?
My mother said the kids seemed happy, healthy and were clearly, loved....so, that's a good thing. The parents were consumed with worry...I'm sorry BUT,
surely part of being a responsible adult is to only have children you can afford to raise properly - in a secure, safe, stable and loving home.

I agree with you 100% Deborah. Also, if you have something mentally wrong with you, is this something that can be passed on to the children? This woman chose to have 5 children with this man?

Those stories always floor me. It bothers me also because it's hard to really say anything about it. They're already in trouble and the kids need help, so it would just be mean to point out their bad planning.

Yet, when is a good time to point it out? Obviously no one informed them of the consequences, although it seems pretty OBVIOUS to me. The weird thing is, to a lot of people it isn't obvious. I don't understand why.

i really think that these kinds of things should be taught in some sort of class in high school.financial planning , the reality of parenthood etc... maybe if some of these people were made aware of these kinds of things beforehand it might cause less problems for themselves and for society in the future.

my hubby told me that when his parents went to pre-cana in 1969 the priest who held the class told them" and you all know how to make sure that you only have one or two kids that you can actually support." and that was from a catholic priest. of course it was in germany so maybe they feel a little differently or it could've been b/c it was still the 60's. even though they didn't espouse the CF lifestyle i still think the priest made a valid pt.

i see these large families and i think to myself, how can they support all these kids. in most cases it;s only the father working and usually the dad in my opinion isn't working the type of job where's he's making a lot lot of money so it just makes me wonder.

i know people who don't have kids who are struggling.i can't imagine how it is when you have kids.

my friend who is pregnant has already told me that she can't believe how expensive baby stuff is.

indigo

See,if I even open my mouth to a young person about thinking before they reproduce, I get an irate group of parents screaming at me not to put my crazy, liberal, child-hating ideas into their heads. Sometimes I think young people would listen to me because we share some interests in common and because I would give them real answers instead of the make-believe teachers and parents go on about, but I don't dare say a word.

I agree with you Indigo - I think there should actually be classes in school that are geared to real life....how to budget and pay bills, the realism of child care, how to save money, etc. I think so many people go into the world today not knowing how to do anything essential in life. Older generations saw daily life in a realistic way - they weren't hyper-protected by their parents and understood that you have to work to earn your life. The current mortgage and debt crises in the U.S. has happened because people wanted things and a lifestyle they can't yet afford....no one taught them that no one owes them the lifestyle they want. There's a huge sense of entitlement these days with almost everyone. It's why so many parents drag their children to late night dinners or to movies that aren't appropriate - they feel entitled to continue the life they had before children and don't care how their choices affect their children or the people around them. So frustrating.

I completely agree with Deborah, but have to play devils advocate. I received a forward earlier this week (of which I never usually read) and this post made me think of it. This was a part of it:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

And the response.....

If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

The flip side of that being, that if the world have never known Beethoven, would it have missed him?

Salieri wouldn't have :-)

Oh DEAR. Interesting point Katie. That's pretty funny.

Well said Snooks...I really agree about the generations.

One thing I think about in regards to that is sleeping in. It seems like 100 years ago people didn't have the luxury to lounge around in bed until 10 or after, because they had too much work to do...especially if they had kids.

Nowadays, everyone feels entitled to this idea of getting to sleep in on weekends. When people have children, it's hard to continue with opulent habits like that, but still people resist that change, and feel entitled to a way of life that wasn't "normal" in previous generations.

I'm afraid that this is nothing but one of those urban legends circulated by the pro-life movement in order to garner support. It exists in a number of different versions, none of them correct. Beethoven was actually the eldest child (if one discounts his older sibling who died in infancy) and there is no evidence that any of his siblings were deaf, blind or mentally retarded. Similarly, no evidence exists that his parents had syphillis, although it is true that Beethoven's mother died of TB (like many people of the time).

Sorry, I just had to wade in - I can't stand it when fundamentalists play loose with the facts (as they do so often).