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I think one challenge of being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is that society as a whole doesn't respect it. I don't think it's just because a housewife or mom is putting herself down. Sure, many women feel "less" because they don't get a paycheck or raise or pats on the back. But, it's not just because they bring this on themselves. Modern society doesn't embrace being a SAHM as a valuable asset the way other careers are seen.

We live in a fast-paced world and it is getting harder and harder for families to live off one income. If both parents don't work then at least one of them has to hold down more than 1 job.

It almost seems like because being a housewife was always seen as a lesser position in society - that as we became more advanced & as women's rights became stronger and as more women were accepted in the workforce - including jobs that were typically a man's domain like physician or lawyer or business person...choosing to be a SAHM didn't keep up with the times...so it remained in that "lesser" position.

Thus it continues to give the impression that women are not only weak for choosing that but now they are also somehow looked upon as not doing their "part."

They are prejudged as uneducated or lazy or as someone who sits around eating bon bons and watching t.v. all day. Therefore we must conclude that they don't have anything valuable to add to society. Of course not everyone thinks or acts this way, but I do see it as a huge stereotype that exists in America and something that I think all of society has a responsibility to change - not just the women who make this choice.

I agree, sadly, with the poster who said that women who give up their paying jobs to care for their kids lose their power and position in society. It shouldn't be so. It's a shameful thing to me that our society for the most part paints these women who choose to be full time housewives or who choose to homeschool their children in a less than respectable position. These women are following their hearts and choosing a very difficult road where there is very little support.

I understand that some women find themselves financially in a situation where they have to go back to work. It makes sense to keep their skillset up to date just in case. But, I don't like the idea that women who have a heart to stay home have this burden hanging over them because our society doesn't make it easy to stay home.

Rather than having to constantly prove their decision is a contribution to society ...why can't society support the paths they have chosen as valuable on their own merit?

(Can you tell I'm a sahm homeschooling mom?)

I don't believe women and men are physical equals, but I do believe if a woman believes she can do something - then let's support her efforts. When I write for the home improvement site, I try to encourage women that this is not just a man's field. Women can learn to pick up a hammer or build a closet just like a man. But, so many women today still think that it's not their place or that they don't have the ability simply because they are female. This mindset needs to change for real healthy "societal" progress to happen.

However...if a woman freely chooses not to do these stereotypical masculine jobs...then I think that is her right, too and it should be supported and not seen as a weakness.

I recently was told by one of my loved ones that they didn't respect me. Why? Because I "sacrificed" my life to stay home and raise and teach my kids. "What a waste." But, to me it is the most cherished thing I've ever done. How sad that something that is so fulfilling to me is deemed a wasted life by someone else. How many people in our society see SAHM moms or homeschooling moms this way? This family member knows I have skills and talents in many areas, but because being a SAHM has been my focus, my efforts and life has been deemed fruitless.

So, if a woman chooses this "lesser" path...is she doomed to never be accepted as an equal intelligent human being as compared to working women or to the masculine sex? (not accusing - just pondering aloud) What is it going to take for a SAHM career to be considered just as valuable as other careers in today's fast-paced technically advanced world?

As for women preachers - I'm all for it. Why not? If they have a gift for teaching and preaching that they want to use in such a way - then more power to them! When we freely tap into our gifts and share them with others...we only bless the world.

Donna

This is a very touchy subject because everybody wants to feel valuable in what they choose to do.

Let me try to explain how I felt about a specific situation which maybe might help a little.

A friend of mine in high school was brilliant. She was extremely good at her studies, was great with foreign policy sorts of issues and went on to get a college degree in foreign policy. She knew all the countries' leaders, their stances, the intricacies of policy. I fully expected her to become a well known ambassador, save peoples' lives, make a lasting long term impact on society which would last generations.

Then after college she got married, immediately became a "home wife" in a very small house where she sat and did jigsaw puzzles all day long.

It was very disappointing to me because she had such huge talent, such potential. She could have been out there literally saving lives, making policies to affect hundreds of people. Some lesser person was probably taking on the role and not handling it well. But she chose to sit and do jigsaw puzzles.

I did see it as a waste of her brainpower. To me if you have the gift of a great skill, and have honed that skill through the careful instruction of years and years, it is a shame to just let it lay without use. Think of all those teachers who dedicated so many hours to helping her become great, knowing their time and effort would help lots of people - and to know that the end result was jigsaw puzzles being assembled ...

but if that was her choice....that was her choice!
I would like to hear the logic behind her choice though. Did she stay at home because she thought that she was suppost to be the "good wife" and stay home or was she trying to please her husband or was she running from her talent? or did she truely want to stay at home and be a house wife? Did she feel like or know that she had a choice?

Those would play a big part in her choice.....

An old Native American saying is:

It is the woman, not warriors, who brings forth a nation.

this is true! but with out the ah...will say Warriors help...she could not bring forth the nation. it takes two equals to tango!!!

The Native American woman, in the old days, was totally responsible for the upbringing of the children, so I think this is why they said that.

The woman of the household had no "lord and master" when it came to deciding where she and her children would live.
In the home there came into being the faith and simplicity that marked the native people. There took root their virtues and cultural attributes. Forces, sensed but not seen, called good, went into the deep consciousness of these young minds, planted there by the Indian mother who taught her boy honesty, fearlessness and duty, and her girl industry, loyalty and fidelity. Into the character of babes and children mother-strength left the essence of strong manhood and womanhood. Every son was taught to be generous to the point of sacrifice, truthful no matter what the cost, and brave to the point of death. These impulses - generosity, truthfulness, and bravery - may be dressed and polished in schools and universities, but their fundamental nature is never touched.
After childhood days, mothers still could not forsake the part of guide and teacher - for youth, as well as childhood, must be directed, and there was no substitute. So Lakota mothers taught youth how to worship and pray, how to know mercy and kindness, and how to seek right and justice. - Luther Standing Bear, Oglala Lakota.
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If it were not for the women in my family our spirituality and relationships would would have probably died generations ago. Much to the misunderstanding of our culture this male dominated society is relatively new. The ancient Celts as well as many other cultures in history revered their women and in some cases held them as superior when it came to warfare, family ties, business, and many other aspects of daily living. I think that you are without a doubt right on in your assessment of your situation. Why can not a woman be a Catholic Priest? Are men better or smarter or more spiritual? Give me a break!!!! I saw how little people maligned and tried to tear down my Grandmother years ago and a more spiritual and generous person could not have existed. I might have a little bias butI saw her for what she really was. She was a healer. She had some wonderful gifts. Many spoke badly of her for whatever reason but whenever any one of them was deemed terminally ill guess who they came to in tears!! She healed many and some of them still spoke ill of her behind her back. She had a wonderful gift and was persecuted for it. Stand your ground, empower yourself, and no matter whom or what is speaking to you, or even negatively in your own mind just know that nothing can really hurt you if you are just being yourself. The very best to you always!!

freespirit says..."but there are many who have kids so they can get paid to say at home. When a woman get pregent and doesnt have the slitest idea who the father of the child is then imo she has made the man a pay check and a sperm donor!!! she has shown no resecpt for the men in her life and much less respect for her self or her kids. this does not include woman who get pregent because of rape."

I have 5 sons and 1 daughter. I always said my sons "if you don't want to have children, then it is up to you to make sure you don't! If you don't want children then use some form of protection! Don't come to me saying that some girl is pregnant! She tricked me! She said she was on the pill! It takes two to make a baby and if you are irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex, knowing that you could well be making a baby then you damn well better stand up to the plate and be there for that child because it is not it's fault it is here!

The male is as irresponsible as the female when a baby is made "by mistake". You cannot place all the blame on the female!
If men don't want children they should make sure they don't have any!!

Sikpiksie

I know that the title of this forum is "submissive women". Submissive to what?

Hi Phyllis!! In studying ancient cultures and civilization we find that some of the finest warriors were the women. Look at the tiger. When the big boy comes around she can back him down without much of a problem albeit being smaller in stature but far more cunning and determined that himself. Its kind of like this; Some witches insist that they are white witches only. [censored] one of them off and you might just see a little blackness. The same with American Indian women. He may be the head but she can turn the tide. As much as we do not like the concept it sometimes takes a little "war" to redress the balance.