BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Rant rant rant...

Hi jvo37...I don't know whether she intended to be a long term SAHM - I know she hasn't worked since her first child was born roughly 15 years ago - she took maternity leave but then decided not to return to work - the other kids are 13 & 11...(from memory)
Initially it might have been difficult working with three young kids but its perhaps, a shame she didn't branch out a bit as the kids got older...take a part time job or take up a hobby.
My colleague "S" says the marriage changed the moment the first child arrived - his wife slept on a divan in the nursery for the first 12 months - the child had problems with colic...
He has said previously that he hoped things would change when the kids were older but sadly, that didn't happen.
His wife worked in advertising for many years and had a successful career - she was mid 30s when the first child was born...
His wife wanted kids badly, he was indifferent but agreed to have two - the third was unplanned.
My colleague had a vasectomy after her birth...
I have worked with "S" for a few years now - I think you can often tell when someone is not happy in their marriage. I wasn't surprised to hear the split had happened...

Wow!

Not to change this thread.....but my DH and I went to a social gathering this last week. So there we are standing in a little group (mostly women) we are just getting to know each other. ONe of the women asks me..."so do you guys have any children"? and I say, "no we don't". So it was so stange. We just all stood there and no one knew what to say. It was so strange..it lasted for a few mintues with us standing there with these stupid fake smiles!!! I finally said, "yeah, I have never wanted kids". And one said..oh really. That was that.

And another thing...I am not going to be politically correct or not say I don't want children or I have never wanted kids for the sake of upsetting anyone or a group of women not liking me. Who gives a sh*t..I DON'T WANT KIDS...WHO CARES!!!

I am aggervated b/c in this little group of people that we kinda hang with...all the guys work together. So anyway, one of the couples made a comment (at a get together) that he didn't want kids, doesn't like kids and would rather have he "thing" cut off. This guy is a really nice guy but says it like it is...and we were drinking wine. Anyway, the girl who's house it is cannot have kids and is trying hard to have kids. Well, she tells her husband later that she doesn't want that guy to ever come to her house again. Now, I think she is over reacting and needs to realize that life can be cruel and not everyone can walk on egg shells for her. Not to mention, this guy doesn't know what her personal struggles are!

Jzel,
She's totally overreacting and it doesn't surprise me a bit. Don't all of us know one of those people who are trying so hard to get pregnant that it's their whole life?

When my old doggy died I went through something similar. I was up till 1 AM every night online looking at Petfinder and all the dog rescue sites trying to find us a new dog. The house felt so empty. One day, I realized it must feel like this when trying to adopt a child/get pregnant. It was all-consuming.

Maybe someone needs to explain to her that he didn't know the situation and he'd had a few drinks. She needs to realize she's not the only person who has feelings.

I think that's great advice. It seems like we all have negative reactions sometimes, but once we hear the other side of the story, we realize we were wrong. Maybe she was just feeling really emotional about it when she said that, and would change her mind if she explored it further. Hopefully! It reminds of the times I've heard people having trouble TTC talk about not being able to be around pregnant women, or go to baby showers (the baby showers part I can understand!).