BellaOnline Forums Family Midlife Midlife Crisis in Women

I was wondering how any gals here thought they may have experienced a mid life crisis.

I'm feeling very nostalgic. I look back to my 20s, and miss those days. I wonder about the "what ifs..."

What if I'd taken a different path in college...
What if I'd married someone else...

Of course, I know that I truly have it great now! I can't imagine how a different path could have been better.

But still... sometimes I find that I have trouble with this whole age thing HA HA!

Well, as I'm "only" 46, and plan on living well into my 200's, I'm not ready for a MIDlife crisis.... ;-)

But I've gone down so many "what if" paths, like "what if I had managed to have another child", "what if I start a business" (that one's a possibility), what if I had done x,y,z... Many of them deal with how I raised my ds -- I think about some of the things that, had I known then what I know now...

But a crisis -- dh seems to have had his around the time he got laid off. (That was a double whammy that nearly lost us our marriage.) I haven't had the time or energy for one! First step -- get my body in better shape, which I'm working on. (I'm a mess, going for massage therapy -- or as I call them, torture sessions, walking, etc.) Then -- I really really would love to travel. But at the moment, this just isn't the time. We don't have the time or the money for it at the moment, with ds heading to college in the fall!

I miss my body at 20, but I wouldn't want those insecurities that come with that age!

Oh, I think we have all had the times of looking back and thinking what we could've or would've done differently, but I've always been of the belief that everything in our lives happens for a reason.

I'm 37 now and there are plenty of times I think or wish that maybe I had had another child, but I am content with my two or I wish that maybe I had gone into another occupation but had I , then I wouldn't be doing as rewarding a job as I am now, so yes, I think that it all went the way it did for reasons.

Ah... my hubby when through a mid-life crisis too due to unemployment and a failed home business venture. I think that maybe what triggered me. We had two really difficult years, and now, even though he is employed again, I am still stressed about the whole thing.

I had a mid-life crisis in my mid-30s. I don't think a crisis has as much to do with getting older as with realizing that your understanding of life was not what you thought it was. For a lot of people, the new understanding of life is that, yes, you are getting older and you didn't really "believe" that you would. But there are other realizations that cause the crisis. It seems that these crises are often triggered by some stressful event that makes you question everything.

I do believe, as bahrain said, that things happen for a reason and what always helps when I'm down is to realize that even if things look bad, they might have been worse if the other "alternate" event had taken place.

Gee, I sure am glad that crisis is over with -- my foundations were really shaken. But I am so much stronger now! But then I wonder if there is something else I'm not aware of...

I think that is so true Diana - there are so many near misses of accidents - all of us could have MUCH worse lives very easily. I definitely count my blessings.

I can clearly remember one time when I was a new driver and forgot to stop at a stopsign and went clear across one of the busiest roads in our town. Thank goodness I got across without anybody hitting me!!!

And I was in an accident driving home late from work one night and fell asleep at the wheel on the highway. I plowed into the back of a parked truck. I'm lucky I did - there was a cliff there and I would have sailed right off the road.

I still count myself very lucky that I am still here and have everything working reasonably well. I am quite content to get older every year, considering the alternative

I agree, Lisa. I think of our lives as sort of like a maze. There are so many dead ends and if we are still here today, it was by good luck that we made the right choice at each turn. But then again, I am a Determinist and feel that we were destined to make that choice. In any case, there always seems to be someone who has it worse. I think I am so optimistic because I usually compare my life with the worst lives and not the best. That way, I always seem to be lucky.

I must say that a deep "appreciation" for the good things in my life is one thing that I gained through the mid-life crisis.

Deanna, I know what you are going through -- it really takes time to get over that sense of doom, of not knowing where the money is coming from, or when that limbo time will be over. It's been a bit over 3 years, and my dh is far more comfortable (even though I know his job is pretty secure, and he is highly valued there) than I about spending money. I'm still thinking, "what if..." -- and then, someday, I'd like for us to be able to experience the joys of retirement. But it is getting better as time passes. So give yourself time to relax.

Diana, I think that is a really good point - and one that I'm definately dealing with. I can't believe I'm 42. I can't believe I'm going to be 43. LOL! I also believe that knowing I depend on my husband shakes me a bit, as I've been a stay home mom all these years. And though I do work part time - it's not enough to support my family.

When women stay home, they really have to put a lot of faith and trust in their hubbies.

Yikes Lisa! You do have reasons to count yourself lucky, don't you!

It's crazy to say that crashing into a truck saved your life. I bet you never actually imagined yourself saying that.

I do keep a gratitude journal --- and try to add more to it everyday than the complaints that flow through my head.