BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Different in other ways?

I didn't see a thread on this. I hope I'm not duplicating.

I saw Duane's list of acronyms, and it got me to thinking. My husband and I are CF, we don't watch sports, reality TV, drink (wine tasting is a huge thing with his parents and siblings the last few years), go to the river or camping or do many other things that the average person does. We find it extremely difficult to make friends (or even just relate to people) because of this. Most people spend weekends shuffling kids back and forth to the baseball field, etc.

When we were kids, music was how we realted to people. We grew up in the punk scene and went to shows with our friends. THe hubby got into the music just for the music aspect of it, where I was drawn to it for the many political aspects of it, along with the music.

So, we're into politics (lefty politics in a righty county), schoolwork, writing (me), karate (him), and a list of other unpopular things. He attneds karate classes and I attend a local writer's group, but outside of that, we don't have much interaction with the "outside world."

I looked up a local No Kidding chapter, but they seemed to have a lot of expensive activities planned. We make decent money, but we live in an expensive place. I honestly don't know how parents can afford to have children here. We don't have a lot of extra money like people think we would for being CF.

I was just wondering if the rest of you are like this too, not only CF, but different from most people in other ways as well.

A resounding YES. I've never done things the "normal" way. I never went to games in high school, I didn't live at college (I commuted,) I bought my mom's house (SHE got married and moved out instead of me.) I never did the things that are "normal."

I've never been a partier, I've never been an excessive drinker (I didn't have my first drink until 3 months before my 21st birthday) I never smoked, did drugs, had a lot of boyfriends, etc. The things that "normal" teens and young adults do.

We also didn't get married in a church.

I've never related to people my age, except in the gymnastics group I belonged to. I don't talk to people from high school, I have a few friends from college, though. I don't want to go on vacation to "normal" places, like Cancun or Jamaica or Disney World. I want to go to England, to Washington State, to Gettysburg, etc.

Neither of us have ever really been "joiners." I like it that way. It's not like we're recluses, but we have our own hobbies that don't necessarily include being with tons of people. We have our little group of friends that we hang out with, we aren't necessarily interested in making new friends.

Hey Cherry,
I'm in CA too! My b/f is an artist and we are far left too. I did the Punk thing back in the day as well. We don't have too many friends but the ones we have are also CF. Are you in S. or N. CA?

All of this is us too. We bought our first house when we were in our early 20's. Our friends all wondered why we'd want to do that.


Not us either. Couldn't since I didn't want to say "I'll accept children and raise them Catholic" in my vows.


I'm sensing a trend. This is so us. We've no desire to go to Hawaii for vacation. All my friends have always been older. The hubby had quite a few friends in HS. I'm much shyer.


We were like this too--until our last 2 childless couples (one we thought was CF) had kids and another couple (who had kids but would do stuff without them most of the time) moved away. It's not like we want to hang out in big groups all the time, but I miss our little gatherings at our house and having a couple to meet for dinner and a movie sometimes.

Very cool. I'll send you a PM.

Kim

Absolutely!

I can count on one hand the number of high school games I attended in HS.

When I attended Virginia Tech, I had to live there the first year or so. Once I transferred to George Mason, I commuted.

I considered buying my parent's house before they moved, but it was getting old, so I ended up renting a townhouse before buying our current house we've been in for 10 years now.

That's so right it is embarrassing...

My first drink of beer was when I was 20 at a very rare college party. I ended up puking my guts out after two or three beers, thusly I never drank alcohol again. Well, I tried drinking wine 10 years later, but two glasses and I had my first (and last) hangover. I just can't touch alcohol.

I never did any of that stuff either. If it weren't for online (initial) meeting of peoples, I'd probably be alone now.

We didn't either. Being atheists, finding a nice place that wasn't religious was a challenge. But we found a nice small fun place to go if you need to get married in the Stafford, Va area (shameless plug coming)

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We do like to have parties every once in a while at my family's farm, but we don't invite people we don't really know. We keep a tight rein on the guest list!

We also have murder mysteries once or twice a year and have six friends over. We're looking forward to the next one.

But we don't really do big parties. I am uncomfortable around people I don't know, a fantastic leftover from the horrible social anxiety I suffered for five years.

I've never been very social in general, in real life. The strange thing is that online, I am soooo much more chatty that it is embarassin So if it seems like I am a chatterbox, I am only so in real life in the presence of people that I know well. I think it also had to do with being beat up on a few times as a youngster. I never felt confident in myself as a boy, so I still suffer from that.

Let's see here... it looks like I have different answers on a lot of these categories ~

My husband and I did go to all the games in high school (different schools in different states) but only because we were both in the band.

I lived at home for one year of college, in a sorority house for two, and an apartment for two (yep, that's five years!).

I probably partied enough for three people starting my senior year in high school and ending when I turned about 28 (no smoking or drugs, just alcohol). These days I am a runner / weightlifter and am gearing up for my first marathon in October.

I am in charge of my high school reunions and have stayed in touch with most of our class of 300 people.

We were married in a Methodist church but have since become members of a Southern Baptist church where I was baptized this past fall.

We take few vacations but when we do, it's usually something scenic, within driving distance. We love Colorado and hope to go again soon.

We have a few friends that we do things with, but we're really homebodies and don't go out with other people much. Part of it lately is the weather though - it's been so rotten cold here that we just want to get home and hibernate!

I guess I don't really fit the norm for the messages posted so far, but that seems to be par for the course in my life! ;-)

We're pretty offbeat people ourselves. We're not really interested in partying and we tend to keep to ourselves. I like being homebodies - we partied enough in our early years to keep me afraid of disease later on in life. Hence my whole posting previously of kicking nasty habits that I thought would kill me before I turned 25.

I went to the games in high school, but I led the marching band so it was required. I'm still in touch with some friends from high school and college, but only enough to talk to. We don't really hang out.

I went to a college where I knew no one and made friends with theatre and artsy people. I studied abroad for a year (not much of a social life for me at college, but I preferred it that way) and graduated a semester early.

We married at a state park. Our best friend (who's gay, btw) got ordained and married us. It was absolutely perfect. There was no thought at all of getting married at a church.

Our vacations are roadtrips, camping, exploring stuff within driving distance. We are not "pretty people" and hate being seen in a swimsuit (shallow, but oh well). Going to the Caribbean or Hawaii sounds like fun except for all the other people. We kayak during the warm season and I absolutely love this solitary sport. We want to go to Alaska and kayak. We want to see Maine someday. We're planning an awesome backpacking trip around Europe (Ireland, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, and possibly Switzerland).

It's funny how we a lot of us have the "us against the world" mentality, huh?