BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Too "young" to decide I'm childfree

This bingo I really hate because it implies I don't know my own mind and even more insulting that I have less sense then teenagers who get pregnant at 13-15 ,while I have doctors constantly INSIST I will change my mind about sterilization I highly doubt knocked up teenagers get the same treatment when they choose to carry on with their pregnancy, I highly doubt doctors lecture said kids with "you can't even WORK at your age! isn't this incredibly selfish!!!? Where on earth are you going to get the money to look after a human being!?" or "are you SURE you won't change your mind after giving birth and neglect/take terrible care of your child?" no of course not, anyone at any age getting pregnant are all making "responsible, mature" decisions wheras a 19 year old who absolutely hates and despises kids and is TERRIFIED at the idea of pregnancy and featuses latching on to her body (has NIGHTMERES of this fear) has no patience or tolerance of children, no gushy feelings, no future plans of having kids is apprently TOO YOUNG to make so such a life altering decision.

Excuse me?

children aren't life altering either? I know my mind and I hate this discrimination I've experienced , the doctors fail to realize that women asking for reversals down the road are almost ALL MOTHERS who have had kids already, and a very very very low percentage of reverse sterilizations are preformed on the childfree. Also docs can't have it both ways , if I'm too young to get sterilized then teenagers and 20 somethings by that logic should not be allowed to have kids, why the double standard? I'll continue to try to get essure done I wanted to be sterilzed by 20 , doesn't look like that will happen.

Keep trying it took me a bit..but I finally got the official clip at age 24

Stick to your guns! When they give you that condescending [censored], I'd whip out that argument you've written right there, it's a good one. It's hard not to get [censored] off with that kind of attitude all the time, but just remember, YOU know your mind, and can feel secure in that nobody can change it by merely saying "you'll change your mind."

how infuriating! i agree that we have it all backwards. we should be MUCH more concerned about being sure people want and are prepared to give birth. it is YOUR body and you should not be discouraged from doing something you know is right for you. God forbid someone even praise you for being so responsible, thoughtful, proactive and UNSELFISH.

Goes to show that nothing much has changed in the past 50 years.
I'm 64 and went through the same thing - being told that I'd change my mind, I was too young to know what I wanted, and I needed to have kids because I would regret it if I didn't.

I knew exactly what I wanted - no kids, not ever but no one would listen. Finally managed to get a hysterectomy when I was 40 but then it was "for cause", the cause bing a large tumor.

I'd been plagued with migraines from puberty and was never able to get any relief for them because they were estrogen driven and that was not accepted medical thinking at the time. One doctor that I went to for the migraines actually told me to go have a baby because that would cure it for sure.

There should be some type of law that says if you ask for it, they have to give it to you.

If a man wants to be snipped and clipped - they do it.......

It takes an act of congress for a younger male to get get cut. It took me 6 Docs, and a lot of begging. It's harder for a female from my understanding, but it certainly isn't easy for a man.

Yes, you stick to fighting for your rights as a woman. It is a conspiracy....just like how a lot of the others were saying that b-pills prices were going up????? Why is having children being promoted??? And again, I agree, most of the women fighting for reversals are usually moms. If I was a decision maker at the insurance company..I would not pay for the reversal.

My insurance will cover sterilization (not regular BC though) but it does not cover reversals.

Cindy

meam, I totally agree with everything you've said. I'm 20 and I'm constantly getting told that I'm too young and that I'll change my mind when I get older, or when I meet the right man, or..... there's a million of 'em. My family on my step-father's side is a bit too traditional for my liking, meaning that all they value is getting married and having kids. This Christmas I was forced to go to the family gathering and you should have seen how the family was fawning over my two stepcousins (18 and 16) that were pregnant. They asked what was new in my life and I talked about how I'm a junior in college and was getting ready for the MCAT and I was interupted mid sentence, "so when are you going to get married to that boyfriend of yours and have children of your own?"

EXCUSE ME?!? I didn't realize that making something of your life by trying to become a doctor and actually help people was SO much less of an accomplishment than having kids! (Of course I got into an argument with dear old grandma about it and she said that sometime I would "slip up" and have to have a kid because I got pregnant. And I loudly said that nothing was getting out of my uterus alive and I would fix that really quickly. Let's just say that no one wanted to talk to me much after that so I went and hung out with the cats!)

Sorry to hijack your thread. Just wanted to show you how much I do commiserate with you.