BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Who will care for you- how about friends

So one of the main bingos is who will care for you when you are old or get sick. My mom currently has cancer, it's bad but curable. Obviously she has kids to help out but... When her firends found out about her cancer they all called in to volunteer their services. Me, my sister, my father, and DH all work so during the day her firends have created a schedule to visit her, run errands, or take her out if she's up to it. Those that can't stop by call or text her throughout the day. And all of these people have their own families and their own issues.

My point being that even if she didn't have kids she still has people to take care of her. We don't need kids just to care for us as we get older. We create a family of friends. Since this is something we CFers worry about I thought it was great to see how my moms friends pitched in to help her and thought I would pass it along.

I totally agree. So sad to hear about your mom and I wish her and your family well. I posted on this earlier and there are some excellent responses. This may seem like a stupid example and I know it is TV - but look at the Golden Girls. I'm sure there are situations like that in real life. And it's all about friends being there for each other when they are old.

Great post - I'm sorry to hear about your Mom Taitinfae, too. There are tons of resources, and I think if I was a parent, I would feel more comfortable relying on my friends. I don't know why. But, yes, everyone has friends, and of course they would all help out as much as they could in a time of need.

1978 - I love the Golden Girls example. That is SO true. Even if you are married, women often outlive men, and end up in retirement communities, or other supportive living situations. My DH's grandmother was widowed like 20 years ago. Since then, she was buried two boyfriends. She is 87, and has a long term partner. She plays cards all the time, and she is happy. She's such an inspiration to me. Only one of her children lives in the same town, and helps out when she needs something. But even if she didn't have him, I'm sure her partner, or her partner's family would do what they could for her. No man is an island. And I know that if I am a good person, I will have loving people in my life that WANT to help me, as opposed to people that feel OBLIGATED to help me.

Yes, sorry to hear about your mom.

Golden Girls..my friends and I joke about that all the time.

Like a psychologist once said..."Don't have kids and you will have enough money to pay someone to help take care of you."

Also, if people are having kids to take care of them when they get old...god love em'....b/c I see these new generations and they only care about taking care of themselves....And to the the good ones....It is costing so much to live that those youngsters will have to work so much and harder that I don't how they will be expected to take care of anyone else?????

not only that but what about kids that move away. My parents moved across the world so we have not extended family in this country and my sister is 3 hours away so she can only come on weekends and is not available for emergencies. Friends are usually in the same area and when you get older many of them retire and may have more time to help out.

That is so true. My grandma lived in this assisted living place and they all took care of each other. My grandma was a retired nurse so she loved being needed.

Not too mention...why in the world have kids for that reason!! Are we the only sane freaking people???? I could get hit by a mack truck tomorrow and I had kids for what????

Jzel - my grandma recently moved into an assisted living place, too. She also helps take care of all her friends. I'll be visiting and she'll say, "hold on, I have to make sure Bessie is ready for her daughter to take her to her doctor's appointment" and call Bessie to make sure she's dressed.

She hadn't heard from one friend all day, and it turns out that the friend had fallen and couldn't reach the phone. If my grandma didn't expect her call every day, that poor woman could have been lying on the floor for days!

Taitenfae, hope your mom gets better soon! My heart goes out to you and your family.

I'm glad you brought this post up because you're right, everyone, not just cf-ers, need to have a wonderful set of friends where you can support and help each other out.

lngilbert--your grandma sounds like such a sweet lady! I hope I will have friendships like this when I'm older.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts. Friends really do help, when my mom went for her chemo she got at least 5 text messages from friends. It really helped keep her spirits up.

I thought I would also add that since my mom got sick everyone seems to know someone who needs work as a housekeeper, live in housekeeper/companion, driver and what not. So if you've done a good job saving there are a lot of people out there who are available to help out. Just another example of why there is no need to have kids to take care of you.