BellaOnline Forums Family Midlife As you've aged, how have your priorities changed?

Well, I chuckle when people think the forties are mid-life...LOL I am in my mid-fifties and find myself much more accepting of others of the course of the past few years. I don't mean just the close family and friends, I mean ALL the people I come into contact with. With learning to truly accept those around me and let them be who they are, it is much easier to accept myself. Each of us has our own path to take and sometimes we just have to find the right set of directions.

I guess I think that at 44 I'm coming to close to mid life. I feel more like myself and more comfortable in my own skin.

I have to laugh though, my mom who is 20 years older is fighting being older sooo much. She's already had three face lifts, one so painful I wasn't sure she could recover completely. She is so frail, but just recently spoke to all three of us daughters about getting breast implants. I told her she was crazy, I think I hurt her feelings, but when my other sisters told her (basically) the same thing she didn't go through with it.

I am kind of looking forward to being older and maybe not so concerned with the outside appearance. I want to focus on the inside and the relationships with the people I love. I think this is what lasts anyway.

I think the older we get, the more the line for what is "mid life" shifts upwards-lol.

I don't really feel much different physically than I did in my 40's and I've read that the 60's are the new 40's-altho I'm not there yet, it's nice to know.

Turning 60 really bothered me, now i use it to my advantage " you want me to do what" i'm 60 yrs old, i don't feel any different than when i was 59 although at 59 i felt 60, lol

I definitely DON'T view myself as in autumn years -- that's more like the 70's! I'm only... um, 20-26. Maybe I need to go to the 30's -- 30-16. (When I turned 30, 6 months pregnant, I said I didn't feel like I was thirty, so decided I was 20-10.)

But I think some benefits of getting older are:
I care less what others think. (Less afraid to look foolish)
I realize I can do more than I thought I could.
I am able to look at things differently.

Of course, the down sides are there too -- I don't rebound as quickly when I hurt myself (I'm a klutz!), I've got aches and pains (I'm working on some of those), the risks of certain things go up (which meant that that benign cyst in my breast was worrisome until I had further testing!)

I'm 48 but I also don't feel like I'm in my autumn years but I must admit that I'm nearly a half century old so perhaps this is true! I have definitely changed in significant ways in the last ten years. For one, I feel so much confidence that I no longer feel ultra-concerned about what others think of me. How liberating it is to cast off this constant worry! In the past, I felt that I was living my life through the eyes of others; now I feel I live in a truly authentic way! This doesn't mean that I care less about the kind of person I am -- I still want to project an image of an honest, dependable, organized and intelligent woman. And I still do care that I have an attractive appearance. But my values have changed so that I now am far less concerned about making the status quo and more concerned about meaning in my life. I don't mind being the only one to hold a particular opinion. As a matter of fact, I am quite used to it by now. So, yes, my priorities have changed but for the better. Getting older has been a great experience overall so far.

I agree - so far getting older has been very liberating for me too. I know try to live a healthier life these days tho. To me having my health as I get older is the most important thing and I really believe that through lifestyle choices, we have a lot of control over how well we age.

joanj: I agree with you that as I grow older, I see how good health is paramount for enjoying life as you age. When I was much younger, I guess I took my good health for granted but even though I am still ruggedly healthy, I have noticed over the years how much people can suffer when their health with bad health. I agree also that so much of our health is within our control so it makes good sense to take good care of ourselves!

Everyone: I do exercise regularly and I've found that I feel great unless I am unable to exercise for a period of time. Then I feel all kinds of aches and pains. So I attribute my limberness to the exercise. Does anybody else feel this way?

Well, as I'm not ruggedly healthy... in fact, those aches and pains you mentioned? Got 'em in spades. But this year, dh and I are working (me, more so; dh, less so) to change that, trying to take care of long term problems (we started seeing a chiropractor in Sept., and I started seeing a massage therapist for some major long-term issues I have with my shoulder and have discovered other muscle groups that are also incredibly tight and contributing to other problems, like daily headaches), trying to eat more healthfully.

But exercise was probably one of my downfalls. I'm too enthusiastic, so every time I started up exercising, I would feel like I could do more -- and then paid a price of not being able to do anything. When it takes you 10 minutes, literally, to get out of bed, you just don't hop over to the Y. So over the years, I've kind of backed off of exercise, but I know I need more of it. Just not so, um, enthusiastic.

But for moderate exercise, for all it is hard to get started, I never seem to regret doing it. (Unless, as I did once, I fall and sprain hand and foot!)

hi, i'm 59(just) and yes i have more aches and pains;yes my bp is a little higher; yes a broken shoulder left me with less mobility;ok, yes, i need more exercise! BUT.. i fret less about others opinions of me, i please myself much more than i used to, i've recently dropped work time to 4 instead of 5 days, i have time for my art work,i find it SO MUCH easier to say 'no', it is easier to accept others for who they are, i now know i can't control everything, and on a lighter note, my hair is now long and silver..natural and lookin' great!as time has passed i've found that each age pleases in its own way.right now, 59 is good