BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids PSA don't ask how's the baby?

So we saw a friend over the weekend who has a 4 mo. old baby. Mom and baby were home not feeling well- daddy met the rest of the gang out for what could have been a total vacation from his new daddyhood.

He was really a font of information- and I didn't even ask- I think all that was said was by another girl- how's the baby? and he went on for the whole night about how his wife has changed- things have happened to her body that she never expected, that none of the books mentioned, that when she asks her doctor he tells her "yes that's normal" and they are both a little freaked out by these "changes". I did not ask for specifics. He also said that breastfeeding is like extending the symptoms of pregnancy as long as you're doing it- so wife is totally absent minded and can't concentrate on anyting and is getting into trouble at work. It was sort of a nightmare. I guess that's part of the cult of secrecy. And these 2 are in their 30s, both very educated scientists. I think they have read every book they could find in preparation for this- and they are still totally blown away.

Scary...very scary. I wouldn't have asked for specifics, either...but I am a tiny bit curious as to what these "changes" could possibly be.

Wow. That is scary.

I have hard time believing that whatever the mysterious bodily changes are, that it's really something they had never heard or read about ANYWHERE, even though they're scientists. Everyone knows your breasts change, genitals often get stretched out, stretch marks, saggy belly, fatter all over...what could be happening that is so surprising? Am I just really naive, and there are tons of things that are much worse than the books say? I can understand being shocked when it happens to you or or wife, but it just seems like they must have been in denial somewhat to think it wouldn't happen to her. Some people's body's respond better. My SIL's seem to bounce right back, much better than I think I would (they're naturally really slender). But it would be silly to assume that's how it would be for you...like assuming you would have an easy baby and counting on a certain work schedule, etc.

I know- if we hadn't been out trying to have a fun night out, I might have asked what he was talking about. I still might have to ask when I see him again. My own sister never mentioned these things- but she's really not one to say anything bad about pregnancy.

On the news this morning, a study was reported that pregnant women have temporary losses of memory, and it continues into the first year. Crazy, huh?

I read on a forum that whilst pregnant, your [censored] swells up and a woman was asking if this was normal.. she got loads of replies like ' yup.. mine swelled up loads' and 'yup... mine was very tender'

... and lots 'I dunno, haven't seen mine for a few months'!

Arghhh, scary stuff

Good lord, I have trouble remembering my zip code... I'd be brain dead with a child...

My brother's partner had an amazing body after 3 kids - she is naturally slender - her 4th baby at age 41 (almost 42)has changed all that - she's been left with lots of loose skin, can't lose her "stomach" and her breasts have not faired as well this time around - the skin's elasticity reduces with age - clearly, a case of one baby too many...
Her Doctor has said that surgery would be the only way of correcting the post pregnancy "damage"...she had assumed this baby would be like the others and her body would just bounce back...

They say that skin starts to lose significant elasticity around age 35, which is why I'm hellbent to get my body into shape well before that. I don't want to lose a bunch of weight and still look like I'm carrying it just because I lost it too late.

Yet another reason not to have a late pregnancy. Why do these women do this to themselves? So they have something else to B!tch about or an excuse to sell their souls to cosmetic surgeons?

I mentioned earlier about the 54 year old Victorian woman who will give birth later this year - I just read she has been TTC for 20 years!
The one thing I don't understand - I've found there is a mental process that accompanies the aging process - part of that is moving past babies - for most people that seems to be early 40s...you accept and move on...it seems that doesn't happen for some people - they don't reach acceptance.
I can't imagine continuing to pursue motherhood for 20 years...into your 50s...