BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What's Wrong with Her?

This is going to be a rant...my cousin and her husband (whom I'm not very close to, unfortunately) are CF. She (we'll call her Lynn) is around 35 years old I'd guess. The other day, my mom and I were chatting about her because she just opened her own practice. Then, the conversation turned toward her sisters who have two and three kids each. Then, my mom says, "Doesn't look like Lynn is going to have any kids. She still hasn't had any and she is getting up there in years (for having kids). I wonder what's wrong with her?"

I could not believe my ears!!! She knows I am CF and she has always respected it (lucky for me). So why would she make such a comment?! I asked her if that is what she says about me behind my back and of course she says, "Nooo, nooo. You're different." I don't get it.

Maybe that was her one small try at seeing if there is really any hope for me?? Who knows. It is just not like her to say something that she knows would hurt my feelings.

ugh. i'm so sorry she said that

I can see why you're upset! You think that you've got someone completely supportive and understanding, and then realise that perhaps they just say one thing to your face, and don't really understand you at all!

It sounds to me that she really wasn't thinking about what she was saying. And maybe it's a mum thing to be able to think one thing where her children are concerned, and something else about other people?

You should have said ' I don't know.. maybe she has a brain and isn't afraid to make her own choices in life?'

'Actually speaking of what's wrong with people, I noticed that X was knocked up again... anyone know what's wrong with her?'

Sadly certain people are so narrow minded it's a case of 'children = right .. non children = wrong' ...

I'm sorry you had to hear that - maybe she meant, if there is something wrong with the women (or man) physically that they can't have kids.

I think the opposite - if someone is just starting their own practice, there would be something WRONG with them if they chose now to start a family!!! Can you imagine?

Seems like a very insensitive comment to me, however she meant it.

Sometimes I really wish parents realize that the things that they say can be devastating, even when it just slips out. What a hurtful thing to say.

Sorry you had to hear that.

That's exactly what I thought! Starting your own practice is enough to keep you totally busy without having any children!

Linux Lady, I like your comeback! I'll have to remember that in case there is ever a next time.