BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Your Top Reasons for being CF by choice

The freedom to dress around the house, or not, and the ability to snuggle, etc at anytime of the day or night without having to worry about the bedroom door (or other places around the house)... , being open or closed or... ahem... how loud

I can relate to all of the examples given. One thing I couldn't handle would be a child grabbing at my body constantly. The way a lot of mothers seem to lose their "personal space bubble" once they have children. I just cringe on the inside when I see children grabbing at mom's breasts, arms, face, hair, etc. like it was a just a toy there for their own amusement. Yuck.
But I will let cats walk all over me!

i tend to get bad sinuses/colds during the winter and for me to not be able to take it easy when i feel [censored] b/c i had to take care of a child would be really difficult for me. when a mom gets sick it's like she has to go on and can't take care of herself to get better. i can't even imagine that.

indigo

Duane- your comment reminded me that a few years ago, two good friends of ours moved in with us as roomates. They almost stopped being our friends after a few months. In order to save the friendship, we had to ask them to leave. One of the major problems was that it was affecting our love live because we didn't want anyone hearing us. I can't imagine how much worse it would be with kids.

I am so sickly that kids would probably kill me. If I come within a mile of someone carrying a virus, I'll get it, and it'll be twice as bad as what anyone else has. Even colds make me dizzy and cause me to lose my hearing and eyesight sometimes.

That is a HUGE reason for us too. I don't get sick very often, but when I do I just go down. I'm not one of those people who can keep on functioning. My husband functions a lot better than me when he's sick, but he has a lower immune system and gets sick a lot more frequently. Every time we are in contact with a kid it seems like WHAM he gets sick. If we had a kid, we'd probably both be sick and miserable constantly. I've watched a lot of our parent-friends go through this, and it looks gnarly. Everyone finally gets better and then the kid goes back to school and picks up something else.

Plus, what ends up happening is the kid gets sick, so now YOU'RE not only sick, but you're dealing with cleaning up after and tending to a crying, whining, puking, messy-diapered baby who can't sleep on top of your own agony. You can't even get extra sleep to get yourself better.

I just don't know how people do it. I've always dreaded that part of parenting.

This connects to another top reason for me, which is what seems to be a lot more kids with food allergies, asthma, and other chronic health issues that require a lot of work and diligence by the parent. Just hearing about it exhausts me. I have some of that with pets, but it's nowhere near how much work it would be with a kid.

1. We've had some of DW's family over for a few days at a time in the past on visits. After a few days, it starts to get on your nerves because all of the usual things that you do, you just can't.

a. Leave the bathroom door open. Can't do that when family is around the corner.
b. Walk around in just a t-shirt and underwear (or less). Being around others all the time means that sweatpants etc must be worn at all times when you are just used to being in 'comfy' mode all around the house.
c. You can't just really be yourselves unless you are locked away in private. That is, talk about things you really want to talk about, because someone else might overhear you, or that subject is something that you and your spouse/SO can talk about without embarrassment, but someone else? err..no.

Having others over for months? I can't imagine that.

2. Effect of kids with privacy, etc?

When I was growing up, my bedroom was downstairs, right below my parent's bedroom. Literally. When I was younger, I wondered what that squeak, squeak etc that I heard upstairs was. (Also helped when you could hear them arguing very loudly and being able to tell what the hell they were arguing about...not fun). Needless to say, as I grew up, I learned. I can't imagine trying to "keep quiet" because the kids bedrooms are right downstairs and/or right next door. Is it something that parents have to do to train themselves to not let go and let out their passions? I don't know -- but it is not something that I want to find out.

Let's just say that a banshee could be considered quieter than I am...

I really don't enjoy having houseguests that much. I guess as I get older, I am more set in my ways, and don't like having to adjust my routine and habits because others are in the house. I like the freedom to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, or do nothing at all! I like my privacy too. Last summer DH's parents came to visit for a few days, and after a while it got difficult trying to figure out things to do to entertain them. It's hot here in Texas in the summer, so outdoor things were out during the day, and they aren't terribly mobile so activities involving much walking were out, which left little to choose from. We're "go out and do stuff" kind of people, and they're "sit home and watch TV" so it was kind of boring to sit around most of the time doing little.

I think that's a big reason I don't want kids, I would have to adjust too many of my habits and routines, and I just don't want to do that.

Cindy

I know that exhausted feeling at the thought of what would be rquired to start being a mother at this age. I could honestly only do it if I could drop all my other responsibilities. Which I can't and am not prepared to do.

Today was a bad day for me. I go through days sometimes when the slightest interaction with people sets me on edge. In consequence, I stayed home all day. I missed a class and didn't go to the gym, which I usually do every day. I know that when my husband calls and I tell him, he'll be upset. But the thing is, if I had a child, I couldn't step away like this. I'm afraid what might happen. These thoughts have me DETERMINED to get something permanent done next year. I can't have any accidents. I absolutely can't.

Tress, I know what you mean. If something happens to put me in a bad mood, I'm usually in a bad mood all day. But it only shows when I'm at home. In public I put on a good face. If I had to put on a good face 24/7, someone would die. I couldn't do it! I'd need some time to just be in a bad mood!