BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids feeling like i'm on the sideline

Hi Indigo!

I can also relate. i can't even express in words how *tired* I am of being around pregnant women. There were 4 pregnant women at my work last year, and I was looking forward to things getting back to normal after they all had their babies...silly me. One of the 4 turned around a got pregnant again right away, and now another co-worker is also.

Just yesterday, I was trying my best to quickly finish up some paperwork so i could go home, and one of the pregnant ones dashes over to me and blurts out "I am so excited! I have decided to do a home birth!!" And she starts giving me all the details....now, how does one respond to that?!? I basically pretended to listen to her while I mentally made some 2 do lists.

Also, one of the new mothers brought her baby in the break room while I was having lunch. She set the baby carrier on the TABLE right next to me. While I was eating, she was telling me and another girl that the face her baby was making means she was having a bowel movement.

on a roll i really feel for you! that sounds really awful! what kind of place do you work at? i can't believe how many pregnant women you have at work! that's unbelievable!

i try to bring up other topics at work with the moms and sometimes i'm successful at it but usually the moms (i have to admit i'm a very good listener) want to vent or at least share with me about kid things. at times it seems like when i bring up other things like things going on in my life at times it feels like they listen yes but that i can tell that it certainly doesn't compare to what is going on with them. i don't think it's intentional but i think that a lot of parents have so much on their plate that its' hard for them to focus on other people sometimes esp. people without kids. i'm not saying it's right but i've noticed that.

luckily for me i don't have to deal with many pregnant people except my one friend (my other one lives out of state).

on a slightly different topic i have decided to try to spend as much time with that pregnant friend as much as i can b/c like i keep telling my hubby once the baby comes i know things will change.i think he gets it but i don't think he completely understands.

indigo

Yep, I know that left out feeling. It sucks sometimes but the rewards are worth it. Speaking of HM and High School Musical...I am SO sick of hearing the parents rave about how their kids love them.

But as far as that left out feeling...I always try and steer the conversation to something of interest to both parties, but it seems to never work. Even more annoying because then you feel flat out ignored!

how true! that is exactly how i feel! sometimes i feel like when i'm talking that some parents in the back of their mind are thinking that what i'm discussing is trivial. in a sense i've given up and just usually sit there and listen to them. that is definitely one drawback in working with kids for a living. of course i encounter tons of parents. they're all nice don't get me wrong but like i said i feel on the outside.

i'm trying to just accept it focus more on talking to other people whose lives aren't kid centered and like i said before joining groups and keeping in better contact with friends.

indigo

Hi indigo! I work in a large bookstore. There are lots of employees (mostly women, we don't get a whole lot of men applying) I've worked there for 4 years, and we seem to go through these cycles of pregnancy every now and then.

Hmmm. Note to self: never work at a bookstore.

haha, good call!

Country weddings can be scary things - wading through a sea of baby capsules, prams, toddlers, pregnant women...
The thing that amazed me was that everyone seemed to want the same thing in life...early marriage and children. The men worked on the farms and the women had babies and cared for their homes or as one young woman put it, "care for my man, my babies and my home"...she was about 25 and expecting her third child.
Needless to say I felt like I had a chicken sitting on my head...hard to blend into the scene.
The talk was entirely about engagements, weddings, babies, marriage...so, I ended up chatting to some of the farmers...decided to be an honorary farmer for the day.
I have to say though...the people were kind, friendly and generous and the food was excellent - all home made...AND, the dancing was fun.

I get highly irritated when people expect me to either be interested in their kids or their birthing/feeding/care issues. I rarely fake interest in anything, and kids/birthing is no exception. But in that case, I would have asked questions with a really twisted look on my face, because to me, a natural birth really is quite freakish and irresponsible, with all the decent heathcare/hospitals we have as an advanced species.

I most likely would have blurted out, "Oh my God, are you serious?" for starters. After asking some questions about problems that could arise, I would probably move to the next thing I could use to relate to her and told her about the bush-woman natural birth video that Ingilbert posted...how the woman looked, all the blood, and that the only thing I could think of while watching it is questioning how a husband ever looks at his wife sexually again after witnessing something like that. BLECCH! She might be more careful in surfacing her personal issues after I added my two cents.

This may sound rude to some people, but I really do get irritated at women who think I'm just supposed to get giddy when they drop a bombshell like that.

HI Angela-
Thanks for the advice...I am sorry to say I looked up the natural birth video you mentioned....um...the only thing I can say is why would anyone post that on youtube for the ENTIRE WORLD to see?!?!?!

I agree with what you say about the homebirth thing. It is irresponsible.