BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why do I find it so unappealing?

I've thought a lot about if it would be better to find a site that was restricted so mom's couldn't get here, but then other CF's who need support wouldn't be able to find us. I think it's worth it to keep the doors open, and just ignore the jerks. I'm sorry this person hurt your feelings.

Frieda7, I posted again b/f I had a chance to read you response. I guess her pet response put me over the edge. I maybe a little "different" when it comes to my fur babies but I don't really care. I do treat them like babies in the mind of other ppl but again, don't care. My little Sammie was a pound puppy and was dropped off at a gas station when he was just a little baby. He was starving and had fleas all over him. My little Jack-Jack was dropped off at the pound and was fostered so many times and was re-named so many times. Poor thing was so confused when I got him. He was/is a bit challenged but makes progress everyday. AND Becky, I want to adopt more....and plan too.

Verynicebecky-
Well, since you originally quoted me when you started this, I think I should respond.

First of all, I was in no way bashing moms or SAHM. I love kids, I have nieces and nephews I adore and I would never trash a woman's decision to have children. I have just decided that it is not for me. I am not highly career oriented. I only work part-time presently.
My mom was a SAHM and I'm grateful for that. My parents are incredible people. I think being a full time mom is quite respectable as long as the woman does not lose her identity in her children. I've seen women give up all of their other interests when they have kids and it's sad. I've also seen women who were able to be great mothers and still have their own interests aside from that. I think that's healthier.

I want more pets too! I would adopt them right now if I wasn't hoping to travel at some point in my life. I think she's insane about that. She must just not like animals, which says a lot about her. When children can't connect with animals it can be a sign that they are a sociopath. So, I think we're in the right here.

Maybe you should read a little more widely, becky, because sites like this exist for a reason. We get a little sick of being called, on mommy sites and to our faces, "sterile", "barren", "heartless", "screwed up", "selfish", "self absorbed" and on and on and on. Just because we've made the decision not to have children, a surprising number of people find that offensive and assume it's their right to tell us all about it. So this is our little haven, where we can come and talk to other people who totally get it, because 80% of society doesn't.

Human nature being what it is, you dis people, you should expect to get dissed back. We get dissed a lot. Unfortunate, but true.
It's also unfortunate that women in particular just can't seem to be supportive. Mothers bash us, but they also bash each other, and it's pretty sad and pathetic.

Just for a laugh, you could try this - go and post on a parent site and put the word "childfree" in there somewhere, and watch the vitriol start to fly. I think you'd be truly shocked.

For myself, if I don't like it, I don't read it. I don't go onto parent sites or baby sites or religious sites, because I know I'm not going to like what I see, and it doesn't really matter to me anyway. Live and let live.

Trolls...bleh...

Do dumb to read the title of the forum.
Do immature to mind their own business.
Too much of a coward to admit their life sucks.
So they attack..cuz thats all they can do.

Well, I think Becky went away. Yes, traveling is a bit challenging. We leave for CO this saturday and I have to put them in "day care" all week. I don't like it, but it is all I can do. When we only go away for the weekend I have a sitter that comes several times a day to walk, feed and play with them, but a 7-8 day trip, the cost would kill us...if we take a driving trip we take them with us.

Jzel,

I think you'll find that those of us here who have pets consider them our babies. I have three rescued dogs myself who were other people's "throwaways". Check out the thread about "What we look like" and see how many of us posted links to our pets. I think you are in the right place, this is the nicest group of childfree people I've found online. Just don't let the occasional parent who has to put in their two cents get you down. Let's just ignore them, don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they got to us.

Cindy

Also, I believe when you take responsibility for a life, whether it's human or animal, you have the responsibility to make sure that life is as safe, healthy and happy as possible, and it's a commitment for the extent of that life, not just "as long as it's convenient" or whatever.

Cindy

Yes. And when you said "other people's throwaways" I thought it was worth mentioning how often that happens when people have children. It figures into my reasons for not wanting children, although I know people who don't connect with animals the way I do think I'm crazy for feeling that way. I could have a baby with pet allergies (like my brother) and never get to have a dog or cat again until the child grows up. I don't know, is that putting my priorities in the wrong place? Perhaps. It's not the whole reason, and if I adored children enough I could handle not having pets, it just factors in to the whole equation for me.

We've talked a lot here before about people who have kids and then get rid of or neglect their pets afterwards. I think that's wrong.