BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why do I find it so unappealing?

Hello Fatina. First off let me say that I began to read these thread because CF stands for Cystic Fibrosis and I thought that was what was being discussed here. LOL.

I completely understand what you are saying when all ppl want to do is talk about one subject, all of the time. I do get annoyed when I hear ppl go on and on about their children, their children's accomplishments, etc, but I dont go out and bash them. I have to politely listen to a friend go on and on about her dogs. I personally am tired of seeing dogs and other pets being treated like children. I cringe when I hear of someone haveing multiple dogs, but I dont find an avenue someplace to go and bash these ppl. Do you see what I am saying? I don't have a problem with ppl who chose to be "CF." I date a widower and he has his now deceased wife choose to not have children. That certainly doesnt offend me. What does offend me is reading comments (especially from woman) that are negative towards another woman's choice, especially on what is deemed to be a woman's support forum. I have never visited a "mommy support" forum before but I doubt they are there to bash women who have made the decision to remain childless. If you came to this thread to discuss being "CF" then why not discuss that and what you do rather than bash other women?

Well, I as sit here and look at my two fur-babies nap and how sweet they look...I think to myself..that I want to be able to come and say things like that and not have to hear from some mom that..could I just imagine if they were "real kids" and how sweet that would be? (did any of that make since) I hope she stops "trolling" and moves on.

Okay, so my brain moves faster than my fingers and I am a little hyper so my e-mails maybe a little all over the place. I am actually educated..just a little crazy and high strung hee..hee...

K. I am out and looking to find where the real CF (Cystic Fibrosis) is being discussed. I did not mean to troll. I wish you all with your lives and I do hope that you will be a bit more considerate of other woman's choices in life.

I know the first reaction when we get a troll is to defend ourselves and respond to them, but I wonder if we just ignored them, and didn't respond to their posts, would they give up and go away? Besides, the name of the forum is "Married No Kids" not "CF". I see very little real bashing going on here...there are plenty of childfree boards you can go to if that's what you're after. This one is pretty respectful, I think. We don't go on the parenting forums and tell parents they're doing it all wrong, or that they made a mistake by having kids. We don't have to go on a forum to be bashed for our decision not to have kids, most of us have dealt with that in person, to our faces. This is our venting place, and if people don't agree with the way we vent, there is a whole Internet out there they can explore to find something they agree with.

Cindy

verynicebecky, I think you are missing the point. On this site, I think I speak for most of us who choose to remain CF when I say that we feel safe to "vent" or to talk about our feelings in this very kid-centric world. A lot of the people in our daily lives wouldn't necessarily understand if we come out and say things like, "That does not appeal to me at all," or "I'd rather not do that with my life," when they start to talk about raising their children/staying at home from work/being pregnant, etc. Usually, if we're truthful and say how we feel about the "to breed or not to breed" question, we get bashed by our supposed friends/family, or they bombard us with bingos, such as "You'll change your mind" or "It's different when they're your own", etc. When we come here, we can express ourselves freely and we expect not to be judged, which I think is the whole point of dedicating one part of BellaOnline to people who wish to remain CF and are happy with it.

As others have said, if it offends you, you don't have to read it. I wouldn't go into an overly religious forum and start bashing all of those people for their choice to follow organized religion, though I do not agree with it, so I don't think it's "very nice" of you to come in here and claim that we bash women, which we do not.

Thanks everyone for trying to explain "us" to another troll. I'm taking Cindy's approach with this one. I'm so sick of trying explain, debate, whatever these people want, and they never ever ever ever listen or try to understand what this forum is about. It just ends up making me feel worse for wasting time dealing with them. I usually want to respond so the person getting flamed doesn't feel abandoned by us, but in this case at least the troll is mad at all of us (and the whole concept of CF), not just one single person. So notverynicebecky, LATES!

Well, I guess I am on the wrong site as well. I was looking for CF. I don't appreciate the comment made about pets. I

jzel, I'm not sure if you're referring to comments by the troll, but if so, we feel the same way you do. My pets are my babies, and so what if they're not human. They're what I have, and I'm going to love them as much as they deserve, no matter who thinks I'm "wasting" my love on an animal instead of a human. I can't relate to people who treat animals like an inferior species. In fact, when I hear people say that I avoid them because I realize they're not a kind person. What was up with that comment about having more than 1 dog makes her cringe?? What business could it possibly be of hers? Anyway, I hope you'll ignore this troll and not let her drive you away, though I understand it's disheartening. The people here are childfree, childless, non-parents, fencesitters, a lot of things.

Well, I guess I am on the wrong site. I was looking for a place to discuss being child-free with other child-free woman. I don't want to get into conversations with moms regarding being a mom nor hear their opinion on being a mom. I went through a lot to make this decision and don't need people challenging me on it..nor do I want to read about other ppl being challenged on it.

I don't appreciate the comment about pets...I love my dogs and can't imagine my life w/o them. That is why I WOULD NOT go on a mommy board and make comments about ppls children. I guess I will look for more CF boards that only CF ppl post and not tolerate ppl w/children to challenge us.