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#368300 01/21/08 07:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 124
This is something I think I'd like to share here...

I go to a certain doctor once a month. He works in a small office and his wife is the receptionist. He's a great-looking guy and his wife is attractive as well, and they are both in excellent shape.

On first glance, you would probably assume they are in their 30s. But he has told me that they are in their early 50s! They look so youthful and in shape, it's terrific.

Anyway, on one of our visits, he told me that he and his wife are child free and in retrospect I shouldn't have been surprised, but I kind of was. I guess I just assumed that they "had it all" like everyone seems to think they should do. That they would have gone with the flow on that topic. But he told me that they decided that kids weren't for them. And that they are EXTREMELY happy with their choice.

He shared that for him and his wife, it is very important to maintain a strong network of CHILDFREE friends! He says their friends are their family. They have a thriving business and it appears that they make an excellent living. They travel, collect art, and spend time with friends.

And I have to say, I think of them with their network of friends as their family, whenever I hear someone tell me "You will regret not having kids when you are older because who will take care of you?" It reminds me that family can come in many forms.

I find them inspirational.

Last edited by Pinecone; 01/21/08 07:43 PM.

Simone de Beauvoir dismissed motherhood as, "...'a strange mixture of narcissism, altruism, idle daydreaming, sincerity, bad faith, devotion and cynicism."

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Pinecone #368316 01/21/08 09:08 PM
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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thanks for sharing! we need more of these stories. i say that i don't have enough examples of happy CFBC people in my world, and that's true, but the ones i have are amazing. my aunt is the best example, but i think i'll share about her in another post, but it's hard for me to not write a book about her. she is so amazing and one of the most influential people in my life. but, that's for another day.

one other example is this 61 year old woman who is in my nia classes (nia is a movement form that combines 9 other forms: 3 martial arts, 3 dance arts and 3 healing arts. it is a dance class, but also a spiritual practice, therapy, great exercise, etc.). anyway, this woman never had kids and is one of the most fun, vibrant people i know (including people my age!!). she dances, runs and does yoga (makes me feel so out of shape!) every week, is an avid gardener, is always going out with her husband (to see live music, to art galleries, to the theater, to great meals), travels, and works, but not more than she has to. her life seems perfect to me. she also lived abroad for many years (in spain) and seems to have had many adventures. she is who i want to be. she said she has never regretted not having kids and said in some ways, "i am the kid i had to raise." she talked about not always getting to just be a kid b/c of certain limitations of her parents, and how she often had to take care of them (not physically, but emotionally). she feels like as she became an adult, it was her turn to raise herself and have the permission to have fun and do as she wished. she is a great spokesperson for the CF lifestyle!


Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -Mother Teresa
fbrittt #368328 01/21/08 10:03 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
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Chipmunk
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Wow! Thanks for sharing these stories. They're wonderfu!

flyingaway #368369 01/22/08 12:44 AM
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Koala
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There is a woman in her 70's where I work and she runs an 8-minute mile. She runs WAY faster than me! She doesn't have any children, and I've always wondered if she'd made that a conscious choice. She has something like 5 master's degrees, and just finished school for personal training. Yup, she's a personal trainer, too! She's awesome ...

lngilbert #368412 01/22/08 06:09 AM
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Gecko
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I just love these stories. They ARE inspirational. I have a few too, but I already posted them a few months back, so won't bore you all again. But so great to hear the new ones! Hope you are all well - i've been swamped with work again!

Pinecone #368417 01/22/08 07:21 AM
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Gecko
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Gecko
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Thanks for sharing both of these examples...indeed, very inspiring.


"Men and women think that it is necessary to have children. It is not. It is their animal nature and social custom, rather than reason, which makes them believe that this is a necessity." --Democritus
Pinecone #368426 01/22/08 08:58 AM
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Amoeba
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Hi there - long time lurker (ahem, reader!), first-time poster.
A bit about me: 38 yrs, female, married and divorced some years ago, am in a stable relationship for the last eight years and very happy. Never felt a need/desire for children, not then, not now. Anyway, reading this post today wanted to share what happened to me today, I thought it was kind of funny. Went to the clinic for my annual well-woman exam. Was seen by a very nice nurse practitioner, first question she asked me "how much longer are you planning on staying on the BCP"? I said, well that's exactly what I wanted to discuss w/ you today, me and my boyfriend have been discussing over the last 6 months a more permanent solution, like sterilization. What information can you give me? We then talked a bit about that and she gave me some bodo information. After, I asked her "what made you bring up this question", I thought it was a funny coincidence, since I had also wanted to talk about that, and she says "well, because you are 38 and you only have so many fertile yeras lefet", and at that moment, I understood that she brought the topic up because she was concerned about my age and that I may want to HAVE children, while I brought the topic up b/c I absolutely DON'T want them... Kind of funny. Anyway, during the exam, I told her that I am very adamant about not having them and that I will never "become a member of that club". She goes "me neither - I don't have any myself". I told her about a g/friend of mine who is having her first at age 42 (plus she's diabetic) and she says "that would not be for me - I don't need that [censored]"... I have to say I was pleased with her. She also gave me a consult for tubal ligation, told me I was an excellent candidate and dit not give me any BS whatsoever. What a relief! Can't wait to go to the next appointment and move forward!

fatina #368446 01/22/08 10:18 AM
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Shark
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Welcome, fatina! I'm glad that you've de-lurked yourself, and that you've had such a good experience with the nurse. How refreshing to be treated as an adult who knows her mind!


The emperor has no clothes. Choose The Childfree Life!
ki-akkil #368462 01/22/08 10:52 AM
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Chipmunk
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Welcome Fatina! Awesome story. Glad you found such a good nurse. I like the way you said, "I'll never become a member of that club." It kind of puts it in a light-hearted way, but also says something more, like that you're not a person who would do it just because everyone else does.

flyingaway #368467 01/22/08 11:02 AM
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Amoeba
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that's right - I don't like going with the herd. Do something just because that is what "one does"... too boring for me. I have always been sure about what I want in this regard. I actually thought the NP was going to give me a hard time/lecture and was pleasantly surprised when it wasn't so. But her attitude already spoke volumes about her as well... Kind of nice. After I have had the operation, when people say "do you have any kids", I can just look at them and say (with puppy dog eyes) "unfortunately, I can't have any..." and I won't even be lying! smile

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