BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce Introduce yourself!

Hi everyone,i f you could help me out I'd appreciate it. I would like to get to know those of you who are reading this forum. I believe we can have a very active support group here. I see the views of the posts, I know you're reading, so lets step out of our comfort zone and introduce ourselves. You can do it here or start a new thread.

I am eager to get to know you.

Hi there! I'm Rebecca.

I have been married and divorced three times.

I dont really count the first marriage. We were only 20 yrs old and 27 days into the marriage when I learned that I was very ill and needed a liver transplant. He found comfort in someone elses arms. I didnt even know about it until after the transplant. He wanted a divorce. They married.

The second marriage, 12 yrs, 3 kids. He cheated and wanted a divorce when I found out. He is married to the woman I caught him cheating with.

Third time would have never had happend except my 2nd ex remarried and then went for custody of the kids. I had and still have full custody. I was a single working mom at the time. I was served with a court date. I had been dating a minister who had moved on to another state. My attorney advised me to marry, if I could. I called my minister friend and told him what was going on. He said that he would come and marry me. Well, he moved back and we quickly got married. The custody court date was cancelled. Solved one problem and created another. I spent almost 4 yrs with a man who didnt love me and made life miserable for me and my kids. We have been divorced for almost 4 yrs. I hardly even look at a man. It would take a long time to build a trust with someone again. I have a online friendship with a widower and I am happy with that.

Thank you for telling me about yourself. I appreciate it.

I definitely know what you mean about not even wanting to look at a man. I went six years without dating and finally started seeing someone in 2006 after my divorce in 1999.

I had told my dad I would not date again unless someone who fit all my criteria dropped on my doorstep,and basically that is what happened. I doubt we'll marry though at least not until all the kids graduate college.

I really don't understand how your being married had anything to do with your cheating ex and his wife to get custody of the kids. That is awful. Truly.

One thing I am doing this time around is being very specific about what I need in the relationship. As far as I'm concerned if I don't get what I need, I'd rather be alone.

Hello Stephanie,

Lol, how did u get someone to drop on your doorstep? I do have certain criteria that someone would have to meet. I'm not actively searching for a man but if I were to meet someone who interests me I wouldnt run away.

About my ex trying to gain custody. This was in a small town in Oklahoma. I was a single working mom...They could provide a two parent household.

Well I had this list.

Had to be: Unitarian, Democrat, Not a free love war protester though (had to find when you're Unitarian lol), had to be intelligent, know how to fix things, not freaky or strange, and he also had to be tall. That is what I told my dad. I honestly didn't think I'd find anyone who fit my criteria but I did. I met him at my church a few years before we started dating, and I just started noticing how well he fit with my criteria. Keep in mind I have nothing against other types of people, I'm very accepting, I just believe that marriage partners should be alike, of the same beliefs, have the same world view, etc... My friends don't have the same views as me, but I am not sleeping with them, building a home with them, and trying to get along with them on a daily basis ... husbands are different....

I feel like I'm too hold to have debates at the kitchen table about religion, politics, etc so I wanted him to be like me. He is like me. We agree on everything. Some might find that boring but it's a relief for me. He's also very conservative financially, and in dress, and that is hard to find in a Unitarian. haha

So, I was really surprised when he asked me out on Jan 1, 2006. He feels the same way about me as I do him. We won't be marrying anytime soon though because I have children to get through college and I cannot afford to get married as the government uses step parent income to figure out financial aid and due to a lay off he is making 1/4 of his former salary, and I make about the same as he does, so marriage will not be happening until about 2010... lol but it's funny I am not in a rush. I know I'm for him, and he is for me.

I honestly do not think they can get custody just because you're a single mom, especially since they cheated. That's nuts! I think your attorney was nuts. You were shafted! No doubt in my mind. I have been around this legal system long enough to know that just doesn't happen very often without some kind of serious issue such as drugs and alcohol or sexual things. I am sorry you had such a horrible attorney!

My boyfriend is trying to get custody of his daughter and if I thought it would help to get married, we would, but we've been told it won't help. No matter that she moves every three months, she's the mom and the child will be staying with the mom.

Hi I'm Pat.

I'm divorced twice over, and currently married. Bit of a odd fit for this group, however, I have been through a divorce twice in my life and that's enough for me. I've grown a lot and work harder than before at this marriage both for my sanity and my children's peace of mind.

I"m 37 and I live in Florida in the gorgeous "Keys".

My first marriage was a-typical - the pregnancy test was positive, so we got married. Two opposites who made a beautiful child and were so unhappy living together. It got so bad I took him to dinner at a public restaurant and told him the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl. (This was many years ago - child is now 18). He just didn't get it. He still doesn't. We made it 2 years together.

Second marriage was good until I got pregnant and dad become super-possessive, angry and abusive. I left after 3 years.

I have been with my current husband 8 years now - a record for us both. We work hard at our relationship and with the kids, I have 2 he has 1, we have no joint children.

The past divorces and experiences made me a different person.

So that's my basics guys. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you Pat.

I'm glad you're here. It is always great to have people who have been divorced but have moved on and have a great life now to be among the people here. As you know divorce is painful, one thing that makes it so painful is you often believe that you'll never find anyone again, or find any happiness. Seeing someone else do it, and acknowledge that marriage is work is a breath of fresh air.

work it is... rewarding some days, stressful on others, but I know that I would rather work at it then not have anything to work for.

glad to be here, I am thoroughly enjoying my stay!

Hello!
I've been divorced once and will be filing and beginning the process within the next year.
I'm 25 with two small children. No children with my previous marriage. This marriage has been wonderful. Besides the regular mishaps and mind games we both played in the beginning.
I'm wishing I was on this forum already passed the divorced stage as this isn't something I'm looking forward to or something I'm ready to put my husband or kids through.
Unfort. I'm gay and can't stay in this marriage.

~ my two cents ~ its either going to be very messy/ugly cause he's hurt that your gay, or he will be understanding and amicable.

i hope that its amicable for your's and the kids' sake.

it is hard, and frustrating and stressful but it does end, we do get through it and we do go on with our lives.

my best to you and the kids and to him, he has to go through it to.