BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids A question?

I think this means she can dish it but can't really take it. Contrary to her popular belief of herself, she obviously wasn't kindly in her postings or she would have gotten a better response. It stands to reason that if she had posted something pleasing to the eyes and ears, we would have been far more welcoming.

You can't pop into a series of conversations and hand out a bunch of backhanded compliments and then get huffy because those backhanded compliments go over like a lead balloon. This is just my analysis, though...

You're right, Mal.

Zuzu got what she said she wanted - answers. Sticking around for anything more would demonstrates she wanted more than that, like someone with whom to banter or debate. While we can heat up some discussions in here, banter isn't really our style, so perhaps she'll just leave once people start to ignore it.

I know I'm done with her, though I have appreciated her comical posts.

Oh my gosh... I am a very analytical person, but I am not even going to bother trying to start to analyse this person. I think I will start thoroughly questioning and analysing every person who WANTS to have children and make sure they are making this decision for the right reasons - many people who have kids just do it and don't actually think about it much before they are pregnant, so perhaps I need to make sure they are doing the right thing. Honestly, I would never do that - it's their choice whether they have actually thought much about it or not, don't hassle me for my choice.

Ingilbert - I love your new signature, I am always talking about useless people, this line fits perfectly!

I'm brand new (and about 90% sure I want to be childfree), but I've been reading this thread for a long time, and I have to say: you regulars are the soul of tolerance. A poster who doesn't fit the description of the board comes in and tells you that you're "missing out," negative, and insecure. She demands that you justify what you've written here. Then she acts shocked when you don't acknowledge her superior wisdom (apparently born of the experience of having a kid--after all, if you don't personally have kids, you can't *really* know much about parenting, right?) and tells you that you aren't actually adults and aren't capable of understanding her--and THEN she closes with some version of "thank God you horrible people aren't going to become parents!" And you're still polite to her! I am in awe...

Man, reading all these posts after the first original one just blew my mind.

I'm not going to give my two cents on any of it, I knew it was going to be a hot one when I first saw it.

I think that all of you had a perfectly good right to express yourselves.
Now all everyone needs to do is relax and breathe. LOL

It's obvious that Zuzu it just a wandering troll..judging by how new the registration is, probably a routine user who made a new name because she is a pathetic coward. Just ignore her, and she will go away, she's just trying to get a rise out of us. She simply ignores any good comments we have. Pathetic Loser..and feel free to report me for harrassing comments.. your are the one slumming in my neighborhood not the other way around.

Skeeter

"This is about the level of dialogue I have read and for the most part am currently being asked to particpate in."
------
But no one asked you to participate! The responses you got to your question were honest, heartfelt, mostly tolerant, and sincere. As someone who is still on the fence, i found those responses so interesting and helpful and validating. Even just my ambivalence about being CF as i make this decision which i openly talk about with people is met with hostility a lot of the times and I find reading this site and occasionally posting a source of great support.

For someone in my position, on the fence, who can see both the good and bad, I too believe that life is what you make of it and it is all about perspective, and I hope that whatever decision i eventually make, I focus on the positives of my choices as opposed to the negatives of others' choices, and I can tell you that the majority of this site is exactly that. I came to a CF website for obvious reasons to help me as I struggle with this question. It is one thing to read all the forums out of interest and another thing to post your question...ask yourself honestly, were you not doing the very thing you accused others of? Were you perhaps not trying to help validate YOUR choices by judging the responses of others? Did that perhaps cloud your ability to appreciate and respect the responses you got? Just something for you to think about perhaps....

I worked late today and missed this conversation. But you folks handled it marvelously. I couldn't have said it better. I do have one little thing to add, though.

Zuzu, I'm a regular here. This board is my "home" on BellaOnline. I'm CF. I've been sure of this decision since I was in middle school. I will never give birth. That is not something I want for myself.
I found your remarks rude and very hurtful. You have obviously never read a single word of any of my posts, and likely very few posts by other regulars. You passed out blanket judgments that called everyone here (myself included, as I am an active member of this forum) childish, hateful, and closed-minded. That was very insulting.
I have one question for you: As I am personally CF, but am also a step-parent, am I still a piece of @#$%?
Sorry to lash out, but I am grateful you will never meet my little girl. I would not want her to pick up your bad habits.

Lynette, I just re-watched Shindig last night! Love that ep! I'd have to look at the closing credits, but I think the character you got your new signature line from is credited as Colonel something-or-other. Just a little something to research. If you don't want to fool with the DVD, there's always the cheat sheet (www.imdb.com)!

Hi there,

I must admit upfront that
1) I haven't read all of the discussion this post has generated and
2) I am mom of 2 who finds joy, fulfillment etc. in being a parent (as well as fulfilling other roles in my life)

While you do make some points that are valid, I want to mention the value of having a place to come to and vent, rant, question, etc. in safety. While I"m not part of the CF minority I did go through years of being in the infertile (IF) minority. There are things you just can't say and have others relate to, unless they are in the same situation as yourself. I think that this board may provide that kind of place for the CF'ers who post here - a place to say the things you otherwise can't becasue you don't want to be rude, etc or just because nobody else "gets" it.

Also it *is* a decision different from the mainstream and this may be a form of supporting one's decision in that way. I don't think that (generally speaking) it's meant to indicate that all kids are brats, all parents are spineless and slobs and irresponsible, etc. It's more a way of saying "see! this is why my decision makes sense." to others who will understand.

There are other formats (like a yahoo group w/ closed membership) that could provide this safety and I hope that exists as well for truly confidential venting that may be needed when feeling inundated by what feels like the entire world in a different camp. I am so glad this bella group exists, though, because it is an outreach to others who are CF and may be feeling isolated, and also it educates people like us who *do* have kids and maybe don't appreciate what it's like to be in CF shoes.

I understand your point about it sometimes feels close to parent/child bashing. Some posts do come off that way. I haven't seen it myself but I understnad there are way more vitriolic boards out there who are actually parent/child haters. I have been consistently impressed by the CF's here who always ask "but what woudl this situation look like from the (potential) child's point of view?" It's a question I don't often hear posed by anyone else and I think it's so ironic that it's the CF that (in this case) are the best advocates.

As I said, I'm leapfrogging in here a bit, I haven't had time to keep up lately. I hope you don't mind me responding.

Peace,

Andie

Andie! Long time, no see! Welcome back!