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Posts: 19
Newbie
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19 |
I have never skiied but I bet those who do would have loved to have been in your...skis...for that fun time!
I do not understand the comparison about not yelling at people who chose to stop skiing early. That would mean you interpret my question as a way of yelling at you to have kids? I cannot say enough- I no more want you to have kids than you do! It is not like I am cultivating votes for a candidate. If you woke up tomorrow and announced to me you wanted kids, it would not change or improve my life one iota. I am on no recruitment mission. I merely wondered at the support arguments made here that required someone to be a " loser" so that someone else might be a " winner".
Aside from that remark though, your answer was very nice and it demonstrated to me that your decision is based on the authentic happiness you acquire for yourself proactively in your life.Thanks for the response!Pikasam and Skeeter great posts
Having said that- I notice most of the threads here seem to be less about the happiness within your lives, and more about the misery in parent's lives.
You should read my posts and posts by Bonsai, Cookiecody, Deborah49,FeebeeGeebee and Pikasam to name a just a few examples. It would also do you some good to read the columns that the forum moderator, Kim Kenney, writes. We are a diverse group of people with an amazing variety of talents and interests.
Share with me what you do in your life that makes up for the joy of parenthood, and I will respect that completely.Most of my free time is devoted to outdoor sports and reading. I speak and read modern Hebrew passably. I don't criticize other members of the local Jewish community whose Hebrew is at a lower level than mine or nonexistent. I had my share of weak subjects as a student.
I am an extreme skier and endurance cyclist. I have ridden my road bike over many mountain passes in Europe and the western USA on picture perfect sunny days,through freezing cold and rain, and scorching heat. I took the day off work yesterday to enjoy an awesome day of powder skiing at Taos Ski Valley. Snow fell most of the day to go with 50 mph wind gusts, whiteout conditions and temperatures in the single digits. I enjoyed a wonderful day of skiing on deserted slopes. I skied 11 runs from the lift and 11 runs from the hike to ridge lines. All the runs I skied were steep runs at an elevation of 9200' to 12,000'. The terrain at Taos is some of the steepest lift served ski terrain in North America. Other than a short 20 min break for lunch and a 5 min stop at mid day for warmer clothes, I skied non stop from 9:30 to 4:30. Did I lecture or criticize other skiers who quit early? Of course not! I returned home drained and elated. This morning I was at the local ski hill at 6:45 am. I hiked up to the top (1200' climb to 10,400') and skied down (great powder here too with 20" of new snow) in 38 minutes. I drove home showered and arrived at the office at 8:20 am.
My point in describing my athletic endeavors is not to brag or call attention to myself. I don't care if people
share my enthusiasm for skiing and biking. There are aspects of skiing and biking that I have no interest in doing. Cross country ski races and criterium bike races are not my cup of tea so I don't do them. One can not pick and choose with the pleasant and unpleasant aspects of parenthood.
I am single and looking to meet a woman. I will compromise on many issues, but my firm and permanent CF stance offers no compromise. Therefore, I only date CF women. I didn't like being a paid babysitter as a teenager. The idea of being an unpaid babysitter as an adult is even less appealing.
Mike
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Koala
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Koala
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002 |
Wow. You really have your nose up in the air. And you must be a psychologist since you can analyze us so thoroughly. Inaccurately, but thoroughly. Hmmm ... maybe you failed out of psychology and are in denial.
You're like the person who pretends to be nice and says, "I really like your shirt" but with that tone that means, "you look hideous!" Like in the Firefly episode Shindig, the mean girl says, referencing Kaylee's store-bought dress that she loves, "You ought to see to your girl. She's not very good. She made you a dress that looks like you bought it in a store."
For someone who has us so figured out as to all our innermost fears and problems, you seem to have a few control issues yourself.
I see there are 3 pages of replies, so I'm sure anything I could say has already been said, so I'll stop after the next comment.
So thanks for getting up on the soap box and declaring your admiration for us in one breath and then lecturing us and being condescending in the next. You have no idea how much you've just solidified our opinion of certain parents/bingoers.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002
Koala
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Koala
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002 |
Oh, wow, after reading your replies, I direct my new signature at you.
Also, I don't need to justify myself to you. You can just go tra-la-la right back to your self-righteous bubble of parental happiness. Personally, I don't care what you think of me. You are nothing to me, or to any of us, and you've proved that you are a troll.
I banish you.
POOF!
Last edited by lngilbert; 01/10/08 07:56 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793 |
Yawn. I'm BOOOOORED.
Sweet corn fritters - a personal favourite of mine. Try with a glass of prosecco for lunch.
Sweet-corn fritters with bacon
A snack a meal a treat, you can make up the parts, leave them in the fridge for 3 days and just combine them anytime your one or for hordes. The fritter batter lasts, only add your fresh sweet corn kernels just before you cook your fritters or they go soggy.
Serve up with grilled bacon or ham and halved fresh tomatoes. Place them over the top of a heap of very fresh green assorted leaves. Drizzle with chutney, ricotta, yoghurt or cream fraiche, all are wonderful with this dish.
Degree of difficulty: Low
You need:
� 1 cup of plain flour.
� 2 cups of sweet-corn kernels cut off 6 cobs.
� 2 eggs
� 1/2 cup of milk.
� 1 tbspn baking powder.
� tbspn sugar and pinch of paprika, salt and pepper.
� 1/2 cup of sliced spring onions or shallots.
� Parsely or corinder or basil or baby spinach leaves, chopped, leave some whole for the salad.
� A finely chopped up capsicum optional.
� 1 cup of good vegetable frying oil.
Method:
Sift flour baking powder and seasonings into large bowl, stir in sugar and make a well in the centre.
Beat together the eggs and milk in a medium sized bowl, gradually add to the dry ingredients and mix well to make a lump free batter which can be quite stiff.
Place the corn, onion chopped herbs into a the batter bowl, Mix.
Heat 2 tbspns of oil in a non stick frying pan, drop a tablespoon of batter into the pan, four blobs to a frying pan at a time. Cook for 2 minutes on each side until golden, place the grilled or already cooked tomatoes and bacon over the first fritter then add the top one. Serve up with greens or eat inside toasted Turkish bread and a fried egg with baby spinach leaves . Yum.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19
Newbie
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19 |
Because you are admittedly cranky, I will assume this is why you misquoted me completely out of context, and I will simply correct that mistake.
"I notice most of the threads here seem to be less about the happiness within your lives, and more about the misery in parent's lives. Excerpts from things parents have written can certainly be found that make parenthood sound like a slow death! But then again, excerpts can also be found showing parenthood to be the greatest joy imaginable! it all depends on what point of view one wants to convey." That is the portion where I mention childhood as a joy. I am not saying it would be YOUR joy. I sam saying that if you have joy in your life -where does it come from? Admittedly not from children - so from where?
If you read that paragraph, you will see the point I am making is that for every excerpt, blog,quote, article or personal story one can gind on parenthood being equivalent to a slow death, one could find the polar oppostie - parents ranting about the joy of it.
In other words, one can spin things any way, in any direction, by what they choose to use as their "source".
In asking you what you enjoy about being childless, it is not without some knowledge of where you are at in your life. I was not born with a baby after all...and did not have my son until I was 32. So I am not ignorant of what it is like to be single, to be married and childless, and to be married and with a child.
Again, for the ...5th time?..I wondered at the presentation .
If I were at a political forum and someone wanted to sell me on John Edwards, for example - or let me resist saying " sell me" as I am not asking for either of us to switch to the other's point of view...if they just wanted to explain why they liked Edwards...but just constantly quoted me excerpts of Obama's shortcomings or anti- Obama reviews...I am not sure that alone would suffice to convince me that they were pro Edwards. It would mostly convince me they are anti- Obama. I would wonder - why the hostility towards Obama when you can be tellingme the virtues of Edwards.
I am really running out of examples here. I have now done dogs and political commercial and political candidates. I cannot fathom how to express this more simplistically. Okay, I'm cranky today and this thread just really struck me the wrong way. So I'm going to rant a minute with the understanding that I'm ranting in my own little insulated CF world to other sympathetic CF'ers. I'm not screaming from the rooftops about bad parents nor am I pointing out the disgusting points of their lives in order to make my own life seem more glamourous (as the OP seems to be accusing us of). Because it's not (except that bunnies don't puke). So be warned.
Define JOY.
I guess I was wondering WHY I need something "in [my] life that makes up for the joy of parenthood"...
That very statement implies that something is missing from my life. Frankly, I don't need to "make up" for anything and take offense at the assumption that I do.
If you are asking what makes me "happy" in my life I can provide a laundry list. I do many things that make me fulfilled and happy as a person, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, coworker, employee, volunteer, and citizen. Those bring me JOY.
But by asking me how I "make up" for something that YOU (not I) perceive as missing leads me to think that the laundry list is not what you're after.
And IMO, no one knows the "highest highs and the lowest lows" or experiences real love until they've lived with a house rabbit.
Last edited by ZuzusPetals; 01/10/08 08:16 PM.
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Shark
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Shark
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 208 |
Well said lngilbert (as usual)!
Also, I resent the comment that we're in some way "anti-child". I'm pro-well behaved children. I'm also pro-choice in the sense that people should make a decision about what they want to do in life.
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Joined: Jan 2008
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19 |
I have a great deal of tolerance, which is why I can come to a fairly hostile environment where the bashing of those of a different lifestyle choice substitutes as a well communicated justification for their choice. This forum :Vote Obama! Me :What is great about Obama? This Forum :Edwards sucks! Me: Ok but you chose Obama for a reason..can you tell me the reason? I think Edwards should be considered. So ..why Obama? This forum: Edwards is an idiot. Here is a link to read www.edwardsmademylifeawful.com. Plus my cousin likes Edwards and he is stupid. Me:Yes but why do you LIKE Obama? What does he offer? Why do you agree with him? why do you support him? This forum: Because Edwards is a big moron. Me:I am only asking WHY YOU LIKE Obama? This forum:Stop trying to judge me and convert me and be hostile to me. Edwards sucks! You like Edwards so you suck too. This is about the level of dialogue I have read and for the most part am currently being asked to particpate in. I see there are a lot of responses, but if the first 4 are any indication of the maturity level I am wading though - it would be a chore. I all but colored a picture of why I asked the question and made numerous analogys so that people could comprehend my point. Politics is perhaps the best comparison because we are all seeing the negative campaigning, and most of us gripe that it is ineffective and only leads us to dislike the negative candidate. I do not know how to ask it any more clearly than I have, but I seem to be getting canned responses, with a lot of self soothing murmurs that just don't cut it as a conversation where I come from. You are all certainly lovely people, but there is a real inability to have an adult conversation here, and I am not wading through more of this. One thing about having a child - you no longer have the luxury of BEING a child and therefore childish. Consider that the biggest difference visible to me on this forum. Enjoy the thread amongest yourselves - I would prefer a dialogue somewhere among adults.
Last edited by ZuzusPetals; 01/10/08 08:14 PM.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 134
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 134 |
This is not a forum to discuss whether or not you, as a parent, approve of our discussions!!! Lady, you have a lot of nerve - I'll give you that. But enough. Seriously, enough. Go back to the boards you do have something in common with - please. We just aren't interested in your psychological analysis of us. Speaking for myself, I already have a therapist (who would have an absolute field day with the likes of you) and I, for one, don't need another.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19
Newbie
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 19 |
I am so glad you have a therapist!This is not a forum to discuss whether or not you, as a parent, approve of our discussions!!! Lady, you have a lot of nerve - I'll give you that. But enough. Seriously, enough. Go back to the boards you do have something in common with - please. We just aren't interested in your psychological analysis of us. Speaking for myself, I already have a therapist (who would have an absolute field day with the likes of you) and I, for one, don't need another.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 134
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 134 |
With all due respect, bite me. 
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