BellaOnline Forums Education Gifted Education how to raise a smart kid

a fascinating article! Let me know what you think.
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and a very nice graphic that relates:
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I just scanned it (I've read her article before, and her book Mindset), and while I agree with some of it, it isn't 100% spot-on, imo.

However, years and years ago, I read that it is far more important to be VERY specific in praise, praise the effort, etc., which makes sense. (A lot of it made sense after I read Alfie Kohn's Punished By Rewards.)

One thing that I suspect can help people (children, yes, but adults as well) is to learn about learning styles, and analyze themselves.

Most people have multiple learning styles, and last year, when my son and I took a learning style survey on him-- we both got similar mixed bag results (no clearly dominant learning style) -- but he said he had noticed that he learned math better one way, physics better another. Recognizing that and working with it is really beneficial, beyond just mindsets.

That said, if a child never meets a true challenge, how are they supposed to learn a growth mindset?

I haven't read Mindset yet, but it's on my to-do list! I do love Alphie K, and agree with much of what he has to say.

As for learning styles, I think my kids and I are also hard to pin down. It would be easier if each had a strong preference for one method of learning, but as it is, we have to do a lot of trial and error. At least we are free to do that, being homeschoolers.

I worry that kids in traditional learning environments are at a serious disadvantage if they are not linear and auditory learners.

Re the article--I think Ms A is spot on. What bothers me most about the article is the "hint" at the article's lead--to not tell our kids that they are smart.

That's quite different from telling our kids that they do well because of effort. When kids are constantly different from others, when they always have more questions about concepts than the other kids, they may grow up thinking they are stupid--and that's a bad thing, too. Best to simply give them honest feedback. And try to ensure that they are appropriately challenged, so that they actually have the opportunity to expend effort in learning something!

If you tell a kid who is not making any real effort that his/her achievement is the result of hard work--all you do is destroy your credibility with them.

Good points, chriscol. Thanks for posting.

I agree that gifted kids need to be told that they are smart/gifted/fast learners, whatever words their parents feel comfortable using. These kids know that they are outside the norm, and if they don't have a clear understanding of HOW/WHY they are different, they can jump to the conclusion that they are just odd, weird, or even stupid.

I see the point the author is trying to make though, that if every time a child does something well you praise the intellect and not the effort, it can backfire. In everyday learning situations, it is important to praise the child when he work hard on something, and not just when the final product looks good.

I completely agree with this statement. My DS realized by the time he was 3yo that he was gifted and it took me yet another year to finally realize it myself.

Very recently we had a conversation about how more typically able children often need or benefit from further explanation and examples after the directions are given. His response was, "They do?!" It had never occurred to him because he almost always "gets it" when the directions are given and he just want to get down to business.

Our other children noticed that our gifted son is very smart even w/o us saying anything. That prompted many discussions regarding talents. One of my children is a gifted athlete, another is showing great potential in artwork, and one happens to be gifted with things of the brain.... at least that's how we put it for lack of a better way to describe it. Our children all accepted it a lot better realizing that they all have something they good at, even if they are not expressly gifted in it.

But mostly he have to tame the lion in our gifted son because he forgets that his brain works faster and thinks more deeply than his same-age peers. We often caution him to slow down and look at it from their point of view while at the same time allowing him to be who he is. It's a delicate balance.

Okay, off to read the article.

[edited for spelling]

Rebecca-

It's nice that your kids each accept strengths in in their siblings without envy or self-esteem issues. It sounds like you have done a great job of assuring each one of their special place in the family.

I remember one of my kids being very surprised when she realized that kids even older than her couldn't read. She couldn't recall a time when she wasn't able to read, and it was hard for her to understand the way others might have to work at it.

We talk a lot about the idea of practicing here. Some kids need more, others need less. But it also seems that the more talent a person has in a particular area, the more they practice.

I remember when my son said, "Everyone can be smart if they try hard enough." That was when I had to explain to him the realities -- because I didn't want him looking down at someone who was struggling to learn something as "not trying hard enough."