BellaOnline Forums Family Moms im sick of being a parent sometimes

Like RIGHT NOW! Does everybody feel this way? I do love my kids, so much. I enjoy their silliness and such, but sometimes I feel like I am running a marathon to which there is no end. My husband died before my third son was born, and I am alone with 3 boys (twins are 4, youngest is 2) plus I am full time in college, and I am so overwhelmed.

I seriously have not been enjoying parenting for the last week. I feel bad for my kids because they keep running over to hug me, but I am so touched out, it just annoys me. I mean, they constantly need to be fed, then cleaned up after, then washed, then played with, then there is the never ending laundry. I have literally been on a 3 day cleaning binge, and guess what? MY FREAKIN HOUSE IS DIRTIER THAN WHEN I STARTED!!! How did this happen? I just don't know how people make this work. I wish I could just take care of my kids, have a house that is just slightly messy, and be sane. Between all of the physical needs, I can't begin to fill their emotional needs. It is hard to find time to play with them when they need clean clothes for tomorrow, and the dishes from lunch haven't been washed, and I have a paper due.

Sorry, I am just so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I am doing a million things, and none of them well.

We've all been there, tx mommy. Parenthood is hard, and so very tiring when you're on your own and your kids are little. It's no wonder you are overwhelmed.

My only advice to you is reach out to others. Family, friends, church members, neighbors, and there are probably even resources at your college. Let them know you could use a little help and see what they have to offer. It may be that someone could watch the children while you do thirty minutes of housework or homework. Maybe there's a parent's night out at a nearby church where you could drop off the kids long enough to do laundry in peace.

And, prioritize what is important. You don't have to do it all, especially all at once. When my kids were little, healthy became my standard -- then you can skip some things like folding socks and let the dusting go a little longer. Treat yourself to paper plates and cut down on some dishwashing.

And, your kids are old enough to help out. Make it fun--put a song on and race to see if you all can get the toys picked up by the end of the song, have them help you put away the laundry. They can fold dishcloths and washcloths, too. Then, reward them with a five-minute storytime or something. You don't have to play with them for an hour for it to count. Short periods of your time are valuable, too.

Good luck! It does get better as they get older, and it does go by so very fast in the long run. Do get some help, too!

Deb,

That was great advice. The only thing I can possibly add is wait until the kids are in bed to do the dishes and homework. Or do any dishes while preparing meals.

Deb is right. It is better as they get older plus they will be in school soon and you will get a break for a few hours then.

Whatever you do, please do not tell them that you are too busy or let them know that your nerves are too frazzled to give them a hug. They can sense when you are upset and are just looking for that hug for reassurance.

I was a single parent with custody of two children before getting married so I know how consuming it can be and my kids were both under two when I started that.

Good luck, don't give up and just know that it will get easier.

Everyone so far has given you really good advice to help at least manage your day without going insane. There are some things we share in common and I am slowly learning how to bring it all together. It can be done, just take it one day at a time.

Dear TX Mommy,

Wow, you have a lot on your plate! I can only admire you for being strong enough to push through another day and I sure can relate to how it feels to just not want to be a Mom anymore.

You are overwhelmed and, hopefully, you are feeling a little bit better now. You are doing a whole lot and all of it is good.

When you get a break, please please try to look back and see how much further along you are now than you were a year ago.

You are one awesome woman and one whom your kids and a whole lot of other people--including me--admire.

All the best for 2008.

I recommend prioritizing. Is a clean house a priority? (Note: it isn't in my house! I tell people they are welcome to come over, but don't expect a tidy house! And you know what -- they still are happy to come.)

When my ds was very little, he would walk right on his wooden blocks -- boggled my mind, as those suckers hurt my much older and tougher feet! The toys tended to stay in one or two rooms, but were generally scattered throughout.

I think the most important things are -- enjoy your kids and get that education. The rest will still be there for you later.

And for must-do's (like laundry), perhaps you can make it a game and involve your kids. They tend to think the mundane chores are fun -- after all, it is Grown-Up Work! How cool is that? (To a small child, that is.)

I am pretty ashamed. I didn't start doing laundry until AFTER I graduated college. After reading your posts I feel really bad about not realizing the stuff my mom did (still does) for me. I think making chores a game would actually help get kids more involved. I started folding the laundry in middle school because I loved how the laundry felt (warm and soft)and smelled when it would come out of the dryer. To this day, even though I hate the task of actually doing laundry, I still love finding the best smelling detergent (right now I use Tide Pure Essentials) and getting my clothes out of the dryer immediately when the dryer buzzes so I can fold my laundry when its really warm.

Yes parenting is hard but i think i will enjoy to do all this.I have seen my brother and his wife.They had a great fun with their daughter.They enjoy their whole tasks with their daughter.