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I am frustrated by something that happened at work today, and you all are so supportive - I hope you don't mind reading my rant.

I teach fourth grade in an upscale town in a state with heavy testing. I have lots of material to cover and expect my students to do their work, pay attention, and be respectful of me and others. When they do not act appropriately, I let them know by correcting them either privately or, when necessary, in front of the class. I never yell at them. When I correct them in front of the other students, it is because they have been completely inappropriate in front of the class, and all the kids need to see that that type of behavior will be immediately addressed.

So today, the guidance counselor came to me and said that two parents have called to complain that I am not "nuturing". They cited an instance when I corrected another student in class and it made their girls uncomfortable. Now their girls have voiced some reluctance to come to school. These are two lovely girls, and I have never had any problems with them. The guidance counselor implied that I should change my teaching style, which I told her was not going to happen. These girls will need to get used to dealing with different teaching styles as they go through life, and they also need to learn that it has nothing to do with them when another child is reprimanded.

That's it in a nutshell. What I am flabergasted by is that parents will call to complain that a teacher is not nurturing, nice enough, whatever. I mean, give me a break. If I complained about that when I was a kid my parents would have told me to do my work and behave so I could learn. I am kind and respectful to my students, but I believe it is my job to teach them, not coddle them. Parents should provide the nurturing at home and expect the teacher to do the teaching at school.

My opinion. Thanks for "listening".

I'm 100% on your side on this one. Those parents are being ridiculous.

I completely agree with Owl. You are much more brave than I am, iluvsummer. Being a teacher is a treacherous job.

as a former teacher i encountered that also. i was teaching a 3yr.old program and my principal called me in b/c she heard me raising my voice and told me i shouldn't be doing that.it wasn't that i did it all the time and like you i tried to do it in private when possible. however, there were a few times when a lot of the kids weren't listening and i had to do what i had to do. anyway, i asked me what she would like me to do instead as there were about 3 students who consistently wouldn't listen and she had no clue. i agree that nowadays it's always " what are you doing to my child?" instead of "what did my child do and how can we work together to correct it."

as a child i was always taught to respect my teachers and when i did get in trouble which was rare my mother always called me on it.

i give you a lot of credit for staying in teaching. it was one of the main reasons why i got out.i could handle the kids for the most part but i felt esp. with my last job that i didn't get a lot of support from the adm. and some parents. very frustrating.
i don't blame you for being frustrated.those parents who complained aren't doing their children any favors. if they keep that up they won't be prepared for the real world.

indigo

Thank you for your replies, Owl, Tress and Indigo. It's helpful to read your words of support. I'm feeling down because I feel like I work very hard at my job, and this type of criticism is extremely disheartening.

Indigo, experiences like this make me wish I had other options. I've been in teaching for almost 20 years and so and this point am in it for the long haul. The good thing is that each year is different. Last year I had a great group of kids with wonderful, supportive parents. So hopefully, next year will be better. I agree about administration. They seem to take the path of least resistance and agree with the parent all the time, expecting the teacher to smooth things over no matter what the cost to the teacher's authority, other students, curriculum, whatever.

I agree with you 100%. Although I have been homeschooling for the past 2 years but it certainly was not because of teachers Here is what I have told my kids in the past, especially if they told me something like "well the teacher just doesn't like me" (and yes I'm sorry to say it was because my child had done something and basically got caught) "This is a great learning experience for you, you will not be going thru life liking and getting along with everyone but there will be times that you MUST get along with someone you don't like". I don't mean be a fake person but honestly I think at times you just have to bite the bullet and get along.

Iluvsummer, have you thought about teaching an older age group? Like maybe at a highschool or junior college? I feel like the parents may be a little easier to work with in these age groups, but I could be wrong.

I can totally understand where you are coming from, and I think it is ridiculous. Parents need to face facts - kids need to toughen up and realize the world doesn't revolve around them. I read an article in Family Home yesterday that said if your child is uncomfortable and too nervous starting off high school, you should talk to the counselor and see if she can have a flexible schedule and less hours the first two weeks so she can adjust. WHAT?????

My mom teaches 7th and 8th graders. She has a new assistant principal who is uncomfortable with teachers giving out detentions (BTW, my mom works with very uncaring students and is in a very tough junior high. High absenteeism, gang violence, etc.)

When the teachers give the kids detentions, the AP has a "talk" with them instead. Therefore, discipline problems are running higher than usual.

Why does the AP have this philosophy? "They're just babies!" And "I don't think it's constructive to give them detentions for not doing their homework!"

She told the teachers to stop giving out detentions and to stop sending them to the office for stuff like that. The teachers all feel that the kids are being coddled and that the AP is not on their side, that she cares more about not hurting the kids' feelings than disciplining, and they don't really know what to do because if they DO continue the detentions, the AP doesn't do anything anyway.

I am not certified to teach above the elementary level, but I could look into getting another certification. I like that idea, Owl.

CrochetQueen, your kids are lucky to have you. They'll grow up knowing that they have your support, but they won't expect you and everyone else to smooth over every bump as they go through life. They'll be well adjusted and able to handle many different situations and people.

Ingilbert, I know exactly what your mother is going through. Our vice principal has strict leanings, but our principal doesn't, so the VP has had to tone things down a bit. There is very little you can do as a teacher discipline-wise if you don't have the support of the administration. And 7th and 8th graders are much tougher than the littler kids! It does a job on teacher morale, and the kids learn quickly that they can get away with anything.

Hi iluvsummer!

I agree with you 100% too!

Teaching is a very hard job - but in my opinion the work with the children's parents is much more harder...

Many children come home from school and tell their parents what happend...and the parents come to the teacher to complain (not interested in the other side of the story)! :-(

These situations are really difficult sometimes, and you have to learn to handle these conflicts with much emotional intelligence.

Juli