BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Hello

I am new here.
I do have a rant.
My SIL announced on Christmas in a very loud and outlandish manner that she is expecting her first child.
Since this time we have heard nothing but, she is 10 years younger than you guys, you don't have much time left. You should think about giving us grandbabies ASAP before it is too late.
We are open and honest with everybody that we do not want children and we are firm on this. Parents and friends keep thinking they can change our minds.
I am tired of this.
I am happy for my SIL because her only goal and ambition in life is to be a stay at home mom. She is going to get her dream. While this is good for her and what she wants to do with her life, people need to realize that this is not what I want to do with my life.

Sorry to hear about your situation, Annie (I like your screen name!). I've really begun to feel that this is an 'only time will tell' situation. It sucks now, but when your SIL is tired and struggling with the bills and you are talking about your next luxury vacation, your SIL is going to be the one ranting in a forum about how inconsiderate family can be.

Amen, Sista Tress, amen.

Annie, I know there are several people who post in here who get the same flack, but I just cannot remember off-hand who they are, specifically. I read how pressure-filled their relationships are with their in-laws and even with their own parents due to the "you should give us grandsperm" thing, and I just cringe.

Take some time to poke around at past topics to find these folks - there are many - and read their situations and how they cope. You'll find some great suggestions while feeling some cameraderie.

If your SIL is telling you you'll 'change your mind' .. google the ' perils of pregnancy', print it out and hand it to her in a handy pocket size... along with lovely statistics on how much the chances of her partner cheating on her increases when she sprogs...

If, on the other hand, it's just other people who keep saying things like that, maybe a few sarcastic replies 'No thanks, wouldn't want to make the mistakes you made *grin*' ... 'I prefer actually feeling my husband inside of me when we have sex.. I don't want a bucket *down there*' might shock them so much, they'll shut up?

I know how you feel, I'm so tired of everyone I ever tell in my life say. What? You don't want kids....EVER? Then of course the you'll change your mind one day. Grrr, if I can respect that other people choose to have children...why can no one respect people that do not. Just today I had a co worker say oh you should have yourself a couple. Sometimes I think that they are not completely happy having children and so they want everyone to be in the same boat. While I get that a lot of people are happy to be parents I think there are more that are not that happy to be parents, but have children anyways...because it is the thing to do. Oh, this just frustrates me...sorry! Try not to think about it...because in the end they need to realize the only ones who have to live with your decision to have children is you, not them. Ok now I'm ranting sorry!

This is unfortunate. I would say, there are a lot of other things I want to do before it's "too late." I've often been tempted to say something like this. It isn't a bad thing to say b/c whatever else you like to do, hobbies, sports, cubs, volunteering, will pretty much fall to the wayside for 20-30 years.