BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Being CF and Looking Younger

My wife is a combination of things. The women in her family always look younger than they really are. Her mother is a short grey-haired lady approaching 70. To me, her mother looks like she is in her late 50s/early 60s. My wife is is 5' even, 47, jet black hair, with very occasional grey streaks just starting to peek in only about 3 years ago. She does NOT look like she is almost 50. The VERY slight greying aside, you would swear that she was in her early 30s. People at her previous job don't believe that she is pushing 50.

This is such an advantage to being CF. My husband just turned 40, and he looks like an older college student. He's very young and playful. He was carded recently b/c they thought he might have been under 30.

I'm 36, and was also carded recently b/c they thought I was under 30.

I'm 5'4, and I agree that plays a role in people thinking I am younger. I am also about a six, and I think that helps me look younger, too.

I'm the oldest sibling, and people always think I am younger than my middle sister. Even when we were really young. She's taller and has big breasts, so I think that may be why. She had a double mastectomy and she still has a bigger chest than me. Go figure.

A lot of women seem to look like they've been through war once they've had kids. I think we benefit from greater mental and physical health b/c we don't deal with the daily stress of children. And I love sleep, naps, etc., and parents don't get a lot of them. I would die if I couldn't get my sleep!

I think it also helps that we aren't stuck in bad working situations. I think it's harder to walk away from a bad job if you have multiple family members depending on your paycheck. I can work as a contractor b/c I'm CF, and I love the flexibility of not being a perm employee. It's not for everyone, but I love it!

I think the lack of noise and chaos in the home helps us, too. If I live in a house that was constantly noisy, dirty and loud, I would lose it!

I am 32 and my husband is 34. We both look very young. In my case, I think a lot of it is because I am short-around five feet and small boned. My husband is six feet...he just looks young!

This past week we volunteered to chaperone a middle school winter ball. Some of the kids looked older than me! It made me understand why people sometimes ask if I am in high school.

Happytobechildfree, you are so right about being able to leave bad working situations! I worked for a horrible woman for three years, and once I realized that the money (which was great) wasn't worth it, I just left. No worries about supporting a family (although I did worry about maintaining the lifestyle I was used to) and now I work for a fantastic person making half of my old salary. However, my new boss trusts me and allows me to work from home and write my own schedule. I can't tell you how much happier I am. AND because my job is so flexible, I'm starting school in September to get my masters and become a teacher - my boss has promised me a sabbatical for my student teaching quarter. I can't imagine the dreams and ambitions I'd have to put on hold if I had kids.

Trish, that is amazing! What a wonderful job, and your boss sounds like a really great person. You're so lucky!

Oh, and I realize how lucky I am, especially after the monster I used to work for.

And I didn't mention it before, but my old boss just became a grandmother at the age of 38! Working for her and seeing her three problem children just reinforced my feelings on staying CF. Each time she'd come in and tell me that her 15yo daughter was in rehab again or her 17yo son had an STD or was in jail, she'd look at me and say, "Never have kids!"

Then again, if I had children, I doubt mine would turn out like hers, since they had no parenting whatsoever. I'm just thankful to have my sweet cat, Toby! (that's him in our window last summer - it was shown on FOX news after I sent it in, so my kitty's famous!)

Trisharoni, I want your job!
I hope I don't get into a rut with my job and stay with it just cos the money's quite good, I get a lot of holidays, it's what I know etc. Cos it's actually a job I find really stressful sometimes.
I hope within the next three to five years to get the hell out of there.
I need to get UK citizenship first which could take a year and a half minimum plus get a new skill - maybe a whole new career would be just what the doctor ordered!

I can speak from experience: some stress is good. It keeps you sharp. It shows you still care about your job. It means your job isn't boring/monotonous. It's when stress takes over your life that you need to look for another job. When I had my old job, none of my friends wanted to be around me. I was that bitchy. Even my husband (fiance at the time) was sick of how I treated him and everyone else. I threw up before I went to work every day. (Imagine all the people who asked me if I were pregnant because of that) The worst part was, since I had only been out of college for 3 years, I thought it was normal! I totally thought it was part of "growing up". I had seen my father work at a job he hated so he could support us, and thought I should count my blessings that I made good money and had stability. Everyone talks about hating their job, right? Hah.

Athena, if it'll take you a year and half to get citizenship, start going to school/attending training now! Or at least take some fun classes. People don't play enough these days, especially with a career. Do you know what you want to do? If not, then try a bunch of different things. Volunteer...

I've done social services, medical records, and now fundraising (grantwriting, events, marketing, etc.) and even though I have an absolutely amazing boss, I'm bored. I don't wake up excited to go to work. And if it's something I spend a large chunk of my time doing, I want to look forward to going to work. That's why I'm picking teaching. I love kids (even if I don't want any) and I think introducing them to reading and math sounds like so much fun! And all the art projects, etc... I can't wait to get started.

Wow, this ended up longer than I thought.