BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Building self esteem

As a former 300 pounder, i can firmly say that i did not have much self esteem when i was big. You really are paranoid about the way people look at you. A lot of big people say it does not bother them but they lie because they are too lazy and weak to eliminate the body fat.

Eliminating MOST of the starchy carbs from my diet helped me lose about 90 pounds and sent me on my way to really enjoying life. Many people compliment me now and it makes me feel good. You really have to dedicate yourself and focus on your goal of losing the fat and it will be well worth it.

I wouldn't say all of us fat people are lazy and weak. As I stated in another post in another forum here, I had medical reasons hindering me from losing weight. I finally got through my depression, ate right, I walk for exercise 40 minutes a day 5 days a week and my job has me running up and down stairs many times a day (yes I avoid the elevator. I am scared of elevators). At my highest weight I was at 296. I finally went to the doctor, found out what was going on in my insides, got the medications to go along with a the healthy eating I started. I am down to almost 270 now. I wasn't lazy, I wasn't weak, I just didn't know how sick I truly was.

I wouldn't say fat people are lazy or weak, either. Being overweight can cause or be caused by health problems that can make a person very tired, but that's definitely not the same thing.

I think there are different reasons that can cause a person to be overweight. For one, our society currently does not sufficiently encourage health. Kids are raised in a culture that encourages long hours of television viewing and video games (computer, too) and not as much physical activity. Parents are reasonably concerned about letting their kids play outside unattended, as used to be the case when i grew up in a small town. We were pushed out the door in the morning, and came home only for meals. Otherwise we were bicycling, playing in streams, climbing, etc. Our society lives in an increasingly automated world. It used to be if you wanted to change a channel on the t.v. you got up and went to the t.v. It used to be if you wanted to go to the store, you probably walked. Also our society today has unhealthy food EVERYWHERE... products with trans fats, corn syrup and excess of sugar, fat, white flour, and salt. Most of us have to resist temptations in order to be healthy. The physical habits and food we get as children set up our comfort zone for our lifetime.

Add on top of that other contributions to being overweight... stress, depression, injuries preventing walking much, other medical conditions.

My opinion is the deck is stacked against us, at present, for being a healthy weight all our lives. Losing weight and keeping it off is quite an accomplishment, but i in no way see heavy people or even extremely heavy people as being lesser in any way.

Our self esteem... particularly women... is affected by our body image. But our body image does not necessarily have anything directly to do with our actual weight or how others see us. Case in point, i had a sister who was anorexic. When i visited her in New York City one year... she was just shy of being six foot tall... and she weighed only 130 pounds, but more significantly she was DIETING BECAUSE SHE FELT SHE WAS FAT.

Thin does not mean you have a good body image and good self esteem. Fat does not mean you don't have a good body image and good self esteem. Whether we berate ourselves for being fat is more an indicator of our self esteem than it is of our weight!!!!!

How rude to say over weight people are lazy and weak, I am over weight, depression, and medication among other health issues hinder my weight problems. (I do not enjoy being FAT) I also have overweight friends who work full time 5 days a week come home and run a family, cook, clean house and raise their children. I don't think any one should judge any one else, If you lost weight good for you. But you shouldn't come off calling any one lazy and weak. Shame on you

It was rude, skyhaven, but perhaps they still have more problems with self esteem than they realize, and have fallen into the habit of putting others down to try to bolster themselves up.

Try not to let it get to you... it was just a thoughtless comment and not true.

No one should be accused of being lazy or weak unless the accuser personally knows the person's situation and can say that from experience. Many overweight people are far from lazy or weak. The ones I know try really hard to be healthy and lose weight. No one likes to be stereotyped.