BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships what's the best advice you ever got?

What's the best advice you ever received, and did you follow it?

Mine was "Start as you mean to go" the week before I got married. I sort of followed it, but could have done better!

What about you? Or, what's the best advice you ever GAVE?

The best advice I ever got about relationships was from a friend who told me to keep a notebook of every nice thing my husband did for me. When I got mad at him, I should take it out and read the nice things he'd done.

I did do that (sort of) and it helped over some rough spots.

The best advice i ever got was to cut back on eating so many starchy carbs unless i was interested in developing diabetes. The disease runs in my family and i had seen several relatives with missing limbs due to the ravages of diabetes.

I have since lost about 90 pounds.

The best advice I have ever received in regards to relationships came from my Psychology 101 professor. He asked us to define love. The truth is that this is very difficult because it takes on so many different connotations for different people. Since no two people can define love exactly the same, it is important to find out what your partner's definition is before you jump head first into a serious relationship. As women, we are especially guilty of uttering "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" to our mates when we are displeased with their behaviour. The truth is, how do you know? How do you know your mate doesn't love you? He/she loves you in their way. The trick is in finding out in what way they have been taught to love and how that has manifested in their beliefs and actions today. There are many different influences that can attribute to their personal love definition. So ask them what they believe love is and how they plan to show it. Ask them about their parents and past relationships. If a person was abused, then it is likely that they believe abuse equates to love.

Happy Living!

I had never really had a real boyfriend and I was worried that I wouldn't ever be with anyone. I am just really shy. My mom told me to take a chance, and don't wait for someone to come along, but actively look. I said ok and went on. The next day a guy I used to work with came into the store that I work in. I thought about what my mom said and went up and asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime. It took us like two weeks to get together, but I am so glad that it happened.

It has been 14 mo. and I love him so much!

So if you are a little shy, try to go out with nice people when they act interested, even if it is just as friends it will help you to break down your guard a little.

Wow, Niquenya!!! I think that is such good advice-- I will have to remember that one and pass it on. I have been married over 25 years with lots of ups and downs, and alway attributed our differences to the way that we were brought up, but I don't think I could have articulated it as well as you did! Thanks for that one.

My favorite advice is when in doubt, you need more information. It has gotten us through many disbutes and disagreements, and helped solve many problems. It calms the situation down because it helps you understand that it is not time to decide.