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#360078 12/16/07 03:53 AM
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I know I worded the title to be inflammatory smile There was some reality / quiz show on TV that asked a question similar to this. I think they asked "do they disgust you". It brought to mind some sort of show that was talking about nude beaches and how it would be fine if the people were thin and sexy, but not good if they were obese and "icky". The thought really bothered me, that people could have that kind of reaction to a human body.

I mean, all human bodies are natural. Would you say a child's body was icky because it was little? That your grandmother's body was icky because it was wrinkled? What kind of an attitude is that to have about a person? What if your loved one got a freckle on his nose, would he/she be icky and unlovable?

Still, obviously some people must feel this way. I imagine they would want to have all "non beautiful" people wear head to toe outfits that hid them from view. But what is this definition of beautiful? Thin? What if they were super-thin anorexic? Does that become not-beautiful? So it's only people within 10 pounds of some ideal weight which are beautiful? But must they have perfect breasts and biceps too?

I just don't get it. I would be happy on a nude beach with people of all shapes and sizes - but I personally would feel very shy about *me* being nude, because I'd feel like everyone was judging me as lacking. I think pretty much everybody feels that way with perhaps very few exceptions (those who really do feel they are perfect, and those who feel they are imperfect but who cares what others think about it). I would love to "evolve" to the point that I really don't care what others thing, but I'm afraid I'm not there yet smile

So - have you every looked at someone and thought "gross"? Was it about weight? Cleanliness? Hairiness?


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To get us started, I want to admit. When I first met my boyfriend, he was over 300 pounds. His house was full of old pizza boxes and other junk. He is extremely intelligent but quite grungy. When he was in high school he was a basketball star, baseball star etc. in excellent shape and had all the girls chasing him. So I think in his mind he still thought of himself in that way.

So one time we were driving along in his car, I think it was after mountain biking so we were all hot, sweaty and grimy. He stripped off his shirt and did one of those "what do you think!" moves. I didn't think or contemplate or anything wise smile I looked at the rolls of fat, caked with sweat and grunge and body wax and who knows what else, and said "ewwwwwww". I immediately felt really badly about it of course, but it was a very visceral reaction. I normally am quite attracted to him so it was something about that specific situation.

Here we are over 12 years later and it still bothers me that I said that vs having my brain circuits cut in and at least say nothing smile I think it was the slimy pockets of skin that got to me ... the unclean situation, not really the shape of his body. But still, I shouldn't have said anything.


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I consider myself 'evolved.' I would be even further advanced if other's comments didn't drag me backward. Consequently, I think it is one of those things that we are tied into together.

Personally, others bodies do not upset me. I am affected by my own. I don't think it's the fat/muscle ratio somuch as lack of tone. My body looks old. My face sags and looks old, when I don't exercise. The depression from no fresh air and exercise compounds and is further compounded by my appearance. This is also when I start to notice other's bodies. Guilt, I think.

THe endorphin high is so great when I am in good shape; if I critically look at others, it in wondering why they aren't enjoying this too.

As for icky bodies - I love to study the human form. But, I can always find icky when naked (or skin) gets in my face. Even with toned people. I am thinking, have they overtrained this muscle, or are they too highly esteemed, etc.) Maybe, this is why I like clothes so much!

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I don't find the human body gross. I try to see the beauty in everyone. However, I'm also overweight and don't seem to cut myself as much slack as I do other people. I won't lie and say that my eyes don't linger on beautiful people, but I think my concept of beauty is a little broader than what is spoon fed to us in the media.


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All those rolls of fat mean you are living a very unhealthy lifestyle. I don't mean someone who is less than 20 pounds overweight. I mean the "grossly" overweight people who continue to jeapordize their lives with their unclean eating habits.

As a former 300 pounder, i can remember how pathetic i looked with my belly fat hanging over my 40 inch waist jeans. Yes, i looked gross.

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Some people have medical problems that hinder weight loss or hinder people from maintaining healthy weight. I ate like a bird for years and still couldn't take off the weight. I finally sucked it up and went to a doctor and NOW I am losing weight because I found a meal plan and medication to help my problems. At my highest weight I was 296, I am down to around 275. Looking at other overweight people doesn't bother me at all. I know underneath the extra weight there is a reason for it and it usually isn't because they are lazy like thinner people like to think.


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I think you only look gross if you don't take care of yourself. I know a girl who is 300 pounds but always has really nice clothes, great hair, great makeup, etc. And then there are the "thin" people who look like they haven't taken a bath in weeks, have a funky odor to them. Those are the gross people. Just because you're overweight I don't think you're gross. To me, it's basically looking neat.

On the other hand, I once knew a woman who was morbidly obese. She would sit on the floor against the wall with her mouth hanging open and her tongue hanging out to breathe.

THAT WAS GROSS. The woman absolutely disgusted me. I've never seen anyone do that before, so I'm guessing it was her, and not her weight, that was the cause of that behavior. Also, she was a horrible person, so that made her more disgusting.

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I like to look for the beauty ,too. A person's body is kind of wearing their history. This is also why I am apposed to botox and facial surgery. A mirror check tells you where you've been and helps you chart a course to where you are going. I used to want immediate change and fall into despair, instead of implementing the small steps to fly straight. I think less of us actually judge others than are 'thinking' that others are judging us.

At 10 pounds overweight, I am capable of having fat rolls hang over my jeans. (yes, it looks gross) It comes down to tone. A friend of mine is pushing 230. She is still very active (team sports) and carries her (unhealthy) weight in a way that appears to have more tone than many people do.

New research shows that an active overweight person is healthier than a seditary person with a "proper" weight.

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I agree with all of you in different ways!! I definitely find many heavy people to be "beautiful". They are curvaceous and "healthily plump". I think that can be a very attractive look. I think like some of you were saying, it's something about the dirty-grungy that made me feel that way.

I suppose here's a similarity. If I look at a nice fresh pizza, hot from the oven and fresh, I think "yummmm!" If I saw that pizza laying in the corner of a hallway covered with dirt and cold slime, I would definitely think "gross!" It would be an instinctive reaction.

I definitely also agree that tone has a lot to do with how someone looks, regardless of their size. If someone looks flabby and weak, it gives a much different impression than if they look like they are active. I have several heavy friends who *love* to dance, and their bodies show it. They look great! I also have several thin friends who lay around all day, and they look like wind would blow them over. So in comparison it's the heavy friends who look much more attractive.

When you think about it, being heavy is a sign of prosperity. Much of attractiveness is about being a "good sexual mate" - i.e. people are drawn to partners (in a basic way) who they feel can create and care for offspring. So the strong guy, the healthy woman. So in that sense being heavy-and-athletic is the perfect combination. You're showing you have plenty of food, curvy breasts are a well known attraction, and the active life is important too. So I'm always surprised when people prefer super-thin models vs "curvy toned plump" models.

For example, here's a famous Renoir painting (warning it's nude)

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THese women don't look 'fat' to me. In the last painting you can see the tone in her legs. But, unless this woman had constant bending business, of course her stomach is less toned. Setups weren't invented yet. I surmise that these women were 'normal and healthy weights' for their time and I also think, for ours.

The difference being women today believe they need to have a warrior's tone to look attractive. I love the warrior's tone myself. But, at 48 I don't like the warrior's lifestyle so much. I want a healthy motabolism and a body that reflects the same. I also want a glow in my cheeks that shows I honor nature, and a light in my eyes that says I value wisdom and bring peace. I also am looking to others for the same, and when I find someone whithout enough energy to shower, I will be reasonably charitable (I hope.)

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