BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Breastfeeding How to wean the need to nurse to sleep?

Although I am saddened by it, it is time for me to start the weaning process. I know that many people believe that weaning should be child-led and that would be great, but I have to be proud of the year we've nursed and move on from that. It's just that I have so much that I want to do before I get pregnant again, and I'm getting ready to have another baby. But, these things I want to do require that I am not nursing (severe tooth work - 4 root canals plus some other stuff; removal of several moles in various parts of my body; and a breast reduction - I am very large up top and I understand that I should still be able to nurse the next baby even after the surgery).

So, I am wondering if anybody has any suggestions on the best way to help her not be dependent on the breast in order to fall asleep. We have been able to successfully (and pretty painlessly) cut down nursings to twice a day - morning nap and bedtime. For her afternoon nap we must take a long drive in order for her to fall asleep. I am stuck on the sleeping feedings. She MUST nurse to go to sleep - how do I break this without scarring her forever???!!! I want to go through this process very slowly and as painlessly as possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! THANKS!

Dear Anything,

I am a huge advocate for child-led weaning, so that part of your post was difficult for me. However, I can totally respect where you are coming from and applaud you on your year of nursing -- it's so much more than many accomplish.

That said, I would contact your local La Leche League league leader to discuss your concerns about your dental work and mole removals -- I am not positive, but I think there are ways that these can be handled in a breastfeeding-friendly way. I'd also seek further information on the breast reduction. If you plan to nurse again, I'd be VERY careful. I am going to do some more research on this as well and post what I find in links or perhaps an article, and LLL might be useful here for you as well.

In answer to your question, even though we did wean child-led, my first daughter needed a little push to stop the actual ACT or nursing before nap and bedtime (our last one as well) even when it was clear she wasn't getting any actual milk during those times. I am a staunch opponent of cry-it-out, so for me, the answer was Daddy. Not that there weren't *any* tears, but being loved and comforted by Daddy during a transition is a far cry (pardon the pun) from being left in a crib to manage on your own. And it truth, it was more like breaking a habit than weaning from milk in our case.

So, the timing of your question may be fortutous with the upcoming holiday, because that was when we took advantage of hubby's ability to take off of work to "wean" from nap nursing. I had him put her down for the 10 days straight while we were on vacation, and that was that. Then she didn't need it from me. Yes, it took some time and love and patience on Daddy's part, but after a few days it was easier and easier, and then a "new habit" was in place. FYI, she was about 13 or 14 months at that time.

The night nurse we dropped at 18 months, and did it the same way, although we didn't need to time with vacation for that one, just to pick an time where he had no evening work commitments the whole week.

Keep in mind that looking back, I wonder if I should have been so quick to object to being a human pacifier, even if milk had slowed or mostly stopped. Getting her down for nap or sleep was never that easy again! But ultimately, you need to do what is right for you.

Hope this is of some help to you.

Warmly,