BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids anyone else find the holidays tedious?

Thanks for responding, folks. I do like the card part, and I love buying gifts. I am a bargain shopper, and I love that part. I just hate making small talk with people and getting stuck with "strangers" for days at a time.

Myrabeth, I can totally relate to your post. There are always so many things you would be doing if you were at home - things that you enjoy, or have to do. But you're stuck in someone else's home. I do take my laptop, and books. So hopefully that will get me through the next holiday. No wonder people gain so much weight around the holidays - all the good food, but all the family drama/stress. Or maybe that's just my family!

I don't know - I saw an Everybody Loves Raymond episode Thanksgiving week, and it was a Thanksgiving rerun. And it was so hilarious, because you could tell no one wanted to be there! And I figured I couldn't be alone in this.

I love the idea of having a local friends Thanksgiving. It's weird, because the holidays are supposed to be about family, but I enjoy my "family of choice" more.

Some of you will gasp when I say this, but DH and I got rid of our Christmas trees when we moved to Florida. I do have this Christmas village that was my grandmothers that I look to put up. But I don't like decorating the tree, and really don't like taking it down. But now, since we are in Florida, we joke we will get a palm tree. They only have a few branches, we will hang five ornaments and be done with it!

I like holidays too. I'll admit that too much family is...well, too much! However, it does still give me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

I'm an atheist, and I LOVE Christmas! It's my favorite holiday! I care more about the "feel" of it than whether or not some supposed guy was born. If I were to believe in any religion, I'd probably go Wiccan or something, so I think that adapting a pagan holiday for Christmas is awesome.

That's great, Ingilbert!

I thought your other comment was interesting and brings up a good point:

I wonder how many Christians actually realize Christmas is wholly pagan, and that Christ wasn't even born in December (ancient texts actually put his birth around spring/summer)? Same thing with Easter -- based, I think, on the pagan celebration of the earth and fertility. Quite silly that we as Christians connect the birth of our Savior with rabbits and colored eggs. *chuckle*

Freida:

Happy Hanukkah :O)

Thanks BillieCat!

I actually barely practice the religion at all. My husband is anti-all organized religion, but we love nature, so probably are closer to pagans anyway. But, we do celebrate Hannukah, and other holidays as well, just because, well, why not?

Speaking of kids and holidays though, I read this article in the paper yesterday about companies gearing more high-tech products to toddlers for the holidays. One example of a top-selling gift was an exercycle with video screen for the under-age 3 crowd. I just thought that was so American. Instead of sending our kids outside to ride a bike, we're going to keep them inside riding a stationary bike while they watch ever-more tv?? How sad.

Hi Freida:

My husband is the same as yours!
I do like my religion a lot even though I am not a religious person - I just like to make my own beliefs. I am also very into nature above all else. I do think a lot about being a Buddhist.

It is also harder for us Jewish women to be CF in a way, since you know Jews want to make sure the religion survives and I do agree with that but still, I cannot do it!

Yes these high tech American toys for kids are horrible!!!

I like them - maybe cos I live on the other side of the world from my family!!!!

Happy Hannukah to you too!
It's so nice to meet someone with the same husband/wife religious conflict.

One thing that's happened in our marriage is at first my husband was more interested in "Jewish" stuff, but the longer we've been together, and the more he sees what it's really like, he's become more against it! It's kind of sad. Mainly it's because he sees the guilt my family puts on me, and he rebels against that (as I do). But a big part of it is my dad's become a passionate defender of Israel, and is very pro-military. He's also supported Bush due to his commitment to Israel.

I love Israel, and have been there, but I lean much more toward peaceful resolution to conflict. My husband is passionately anti-war and more of a peace activist. My dad talks about it all the time, so my husband feels like he can't relate to Jews anymore. Good job dad!

Anyway, that is a good point about the pressure on Jewish women to procreate. On the other hand, with all the philosophical disagreements between my husband and myself and my family, raising a child would be fraught with problems. A long time ago my husband would have been fine with giving our hypothetical child a barmitzvah for example, but after listening to my dad's propaganda for 14 years, he feels very differently now. I don't know how we would deal with it, and that is one thing I'm relieved to avoid.

To me, the holiday season (the gift giving part) is mainly for the children. Personally, I don't see the need for full-fledged adults, who are fully productive members of society, to have to give gifts to each other. My parents have grandkids to spoil, so that is why they do the tree and the gift stuff. If I want something, I get it. Anything that I really want is usually so specialized and/or pricey (be it photographic accessories, computer stuff, etc) that I don't want anyone giving that to me. I have a comfortable job, I have a good house,

My role at Christmas at my parent's house is as official photographer. It has two benefits: It lets me practice the art of taking good, on the fly, action photographs in a darker style indoor environment. It also has the attraction that I have an excuse to have something else to concentrate on, in a place where I would rather be doing something else. I also make a video CD/DVD of the pictures I take for everyone who wants one within a day or so of the events, so that lets me use my talents in that respect.

As far as the religious roots of the holiday, it doesn't bother me as an atheist, because the true meaning of Christmas, today, to most people, is the Santa Claus/gift giving, regardless of what society says. If people want to celebrate this season worshiping and celebrating at church with prayers, etc, then they can go ahead and do it. That aspect of it doesn't affect me -- they can do what they want.

What gets me is the expectation that 'gifts' be given. Gifts should be something that you should 'want' to give -- thusly, the meaning of "to gift". Unfortunately, the 'want to give' aspect is now a 'need to give' aspect. It almost feels like a tax of sorts.